From: ibshambat@gmail.com   
      
   Many people believe that men who are bad to women have low self-esteem. In   
   many cases this is not the case. These men's behaviour is not a function of   
   how they feel about themselves but of how they feel about the woman or women   
   in general.   
      
   My former partner Julia was married to a millionaire who was absolutely   
   horrible to her. He did not have low self-esteem. He thought that he was the   
   godliest man he ever knew. His behavior did not come from how he felt about   
   himself but of how he felt    
   about her. He did not think that he was a bad person; he thought that she was   
   a bad person. And he was terrible to her.   
      
   Nazis, Muslims and suchlike do not suffer from low self-esteem. Their problem   
   is wrong beliefs. If you think that Jews are bad, you will be bad to Jews   
   however you feel about yourself. If you think that women are bad, you will be   
   bad to women however you    
   feel about yourself. Raising self-esteem in these situations does nothing to   
   correct the problem.   
      
   In many cases the man with higher self-esteem will be more attractive or   
   successful than man with lower one. That doesn't mean that he will be a better   
   person. In many cases it works the other way around. If you have higher   
   standards for yourself you    
   will find it harder to feel good about yourself than if you have lower   
   standards for yourself. The person with lower standards will have higher   
   self-esteem; the person with higher standards will be a better person.   
      
   If you are in a bad relationship: don't try to raise your partner's   
   self-esteem. Work on how he sees you and how he sees women.   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)