From: ibshambat@gmail.com   
      
   There is an arrangement called Christian Domestic Discipline, in which men are   
   told that the best way to control their wives is through calculated violence.   
      
   That’s the problem right there. They want to control their wives instead of   
   loving them.   
      
   Some mix this with patriotism and Christianity. In both cases a wrong is done.   
   Tyrannical family arrangements fail to prepare people for a democracy. To   
   function in a democracy you need to know compromise and negotiation. You do   
   not learn that in    
   households where one person’s word is the law. Authoritarian family leads to   
   authoritarian politics; and a true patriot in a democracy would prepare their   
   young for democracy instead of raising them in – and preparing them for –   
   authoritarianism.   
      
   So we have people claiming that a woman won’t respect you unless you control   
   her. That is dead wrong. I never tried to control my ex-wife, whereas her men   
   before her did everything they could to control her. She has respect for me   
   and none for these    
   men.   
      
   Being with someone you feel the need to control is a stupid way to live. You   
   live without trust, intimacy or understanding. Basically, this leads to lives   
   getting squandered; and it is in every way viable for people in such settings   
   to look for a better    
   way.   
      
   It so happens that there is a better way. That way is having genuinely loving   
   relationships. Control is not wanted because there is love and trust. Instead   
   of working against the woman, one works with her. She is not an animal, an   
   alien or a fiend; she    
   is one’s partner. And one realizes much greater benefit by taking that path   
   than by taking the path of control.   
      
   As for the Christian Domestic Discipline: not only is what they recommend   
   illegal, it is also morally wrong. Such situations are rarely entered freely   
   and of accord. In most cases, this is the case of the family or the community   
   bullying a young woman    
   into a situation in which she would have to remain subservient for a lifetime.   
   It is not discipline. It is oppression.   
      
   If you are with someone you feel the need to control, you are with the wrong   
   person. The right person will be trustworthy and you won’t feel the need to   
   control her. If you are in a situation of this kind, then by all means leave   
   the woman and save the    
   both of you. Find yourself a woman whom you can trust and actually live.   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)