From: oldernow@dev.null   
      
   It keeps seeming like posting anything other than something sublime   
   that leads everyone to enlightenment is silly.   
      
   And yet there are times I suspect that posting whatever comes to   
   mind without a molecule of concern over its reception is far closer   
   to being honest.   
      
   So here goes!   
      
   Today I discovered a Facebook page of an endeavor of a former   
   coworker I was infatuated with a quarter century ago. So I emailed   
   her. Chances are there'll be no reply. And I'm thankful for that,   
   although of course there's always a foolish glimmer of hope. Not that   
   I want anything to come of it but maybe a brief email volley. But   
   it would be nice to be remembered, especially well enough to be   
   worthy of a reply.   
      
   Oddly, she wasn't really my idea of beauty except in two areas:   
   her fingers, and her voice.   
      
   She was present for one of my few what-I-want-to-call "hyper   
   conscious moments". It was the mid-to-late 1990s. She was dropping   
   me off after I attended a party she and her husband hosted, and   
   I think I was rambling on tipsily, and she was kind of chiding me   
   over my obvious infatuation, when she suddenly said, "But I get it,   
   because I'm no doubt your first black experience."   
      
   I was one of those "bar time" moments, as though all the lights of   
   the world had come on. I laughed, because she was wrong. But it's   
   not the kind of thing you hear every day, hence how time seemingly   
   stopped in that moment.   
      
   She kind of avoided me after that night, and I understood. I was   
   being stupid to begin with. But you know how loins don't give a   
   shit about silly conceptual nonsense....   
      
   Oddly, she fueled a major posting spree on USENET, as she once was   
   - and I think still was? - "one of Jehovah's Witnesses". I wound   
   up hanging out in alt.religion.jehovahs-witn for I don't know how   
   long, getting into lots of heavily inline-quoted discussions, which   
   was somewhat fitting for my having been an "evangelical Christian"   
   a decade and a half before.   
      
   --   
   oldernow   
   xyz001 at nym.hush.com   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)