XPost: alt.atheism, alt.fan.rush-limbaugh, aus.politics   
   XPost: or.politics   
   From: elonx@protonmail.com   
      
   Jesus got tired of working as a Carpenter so he decided to form a cult so   
   he could live off their avails and get free food and wine.  And don't   
   forget the Hooker.   What do you expect?   He didn't even know any white   
   people.   
      
      
      
      
      
      
   Written before the passages in the Old Testament were even conceived, this   
   origin story comes from some of the earliest Greek writings that have   
   survived.   
      
      
      
       In the beginning there was Chaos, a yawning nothingness. Out of the   
   void emerged Gaia (the Earth) and other divine beings — Eros (love), the   
   Abyss (part of the underworld), and the Erebus (the unknowable place where   
   death dwells). Without male assistance, Gaia gave birth to Uranus (the   
   Sky), who then fertilized her.   
      
       From that union the first Titans were born — six males: Coeus, Crius,   
   Cronus, Hyperion, Iapetus, and Oceanus, and six females: Mnemosyne,   
   Phoebe, Rhea, Theia, Themis, and Tethys. After Cronus (time) was born,   
   Gaia and Uranus decreed no more Titans were to be born.   
      
       Cronus castrated his father and threw the severed genitals into the   
   sea, from which arose Aphrodite, goddess of love, beauty and sexuality.   
   Cronus became the ruler of the gods with his sister-wife, Rhea, as his   
   consort. The other Titans became his court. Because Cronus had betrayed   
   his father, he feared that his offspring would do the same. So each time   
   Rhea gave birth, Cronus snatched up the child and ate it. Rhea hated this   
   and tricked him by hiding one child, Zeus, and wrapping a stone in a   
   baby’s blanket so that Cronus ate the stone instead of the baby.   
      
       When Zeus was grown, he fed his father a drugged drink, which caused   
   Cronus to vomit, throwing up Rhea’s other children and the stone. Zeus   
   then challenged Cronus to war for the kingship of the gods. At last Zeus   
   and his siblings, the Olympians, were victorious, and the Titans were   
   hurled down to imprisonment in the Abyss.   
      
       Zeus was plagued by the same concern as his father had been and, after   
   a prophecy that his first wife, Metis, would give birth to a god greater   
   than he, he swallowed Metis. But she was already pregnant with Athena, and   
   they both made him miserable until Athena, the goddess of wisdom,   
   civilization and justice, burst from his head — fully grown and dressed   
   for war. Zeus was able to fight off all challenges to his power and to   
   remain the ruler of Mt. Olympus, the home of the gods.   
      
       One son of Titans, Prometheus, did not fight with fellow Titans   
   against Zeus and was spared imprisonment; he was given the task of   
   creating man. Prometheus shaped man out of mud, and Athena breathed life   
   into the clay figure. Prometheus made man stand upright as the gods did   
   and gave him fire. Prometheus tricked Zeus, and to punish him, Zeus   
   created Pandora, the first woman, of stunning beauty, wealth, and a   
   deceptive heart and lying tongue. He also gave Pandora a box she was   
   commanded never to open, but eventually her curiosity got the best of her,   
   and she opened the box to release all kinds of evil, plagues, sorrows, and   
   misfortunes, and also hope, which lay at the bottom of the box.   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)