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   alt.religion.jewish      Jackie Mason nailed it on the Simpsons      406 messages   

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   Message 175 of 406   
   Mr. Muchi to All   
   THE KOSHER PORK   
   17 Apr 08 23:52:29   
   
   From: sdjerome@bellsouth.net   
      
   THE KOSHER PORK   
    (Also Known As "My Personal Passover Story")   
      
      
   Passover is about to arrive.  I am reminded of something which   
   happened thirteen years ago.  Passover was a week away.  I had just   
   read that during Passover, Jewish dog owners could only keep dog foods   
   which were free of homitz.  I was the proud owner of a dog, my beloved   
   mutt, Duke, so I sought rabbinical advice.   
      
   The rabbi read from a list of permitted dog foods.  One of the brands   
   on the list was Alpo "beef and bacon."  But wait!  Bacon comes from   
   the pig.  "How could this be?" I asked? "Rabbi, are you telling me to   
   bring a pork product into my home?"  The rabbi responded by asking me,   
   "Are you buying this for yourself to eat or for your dog?"  He then   
   explained that it is not forbidden for Jews to possess pork.  It was   
   only forbidden for Jews to eat pork products.  He went on to explain   
   that the Talmud expressly states that if a Jew has pork, he should   
   feed it to the dogs.   Since I had a dog, this would follow the   
   Talmudic instruction.   
      
   The rabbi also noted that this rule was in contrast to feeding the dog   
   a mixture of milk and meat. The Talmud states that Jews are prohibited   
   from deriving any benefit from mixing milk and meat.  That, he   
   explained, included feeding it to a dog.  Over the next days I began   
   to question:  Why would the Talmud direct Jews to feed pork to the   
   dogs? Certainly, the Talmud would not direct a Jew to perform an act   
   that violates the laws of Kashruth.   
      
   I sought a clue from the Midrash (a compilation of Rabbinic literature   
   from roughly 400 to 1200 C.E).  The Torah states that just before   
   imposing the Tenth Plague upon the Egyptians (killing of the first   
   born), God told Moses that there would be loud wailing throughout   
   Egypt, but where the Hebrews lived, not even a dog would bark.  The   
   Midrash states that just before the Angel of Death descended, God   
   instructed all dogs living among the Hebrews to be silent.  The dogs   
   complied with loving devotion.  God was so impressed that He told them   
   that because they had obeyed with such love, He would reward them.  He   
   would instruct the Jewish people that hereafter they should give their   
   non-kosher food to the dogs.   
      
   This explains giving non-kosher food to the dogs in general.  However,   
   the Talmudic directive deals only with Pork. It does not mention other   
   non-kosher foods such as rabbits, shrimp or lobster, etc.  Thus, this   
   Midrashic story did not explain why the Talmud instructs Jews   
   specifically to feed pork to the dogs.   
      
   The first night of Passover arrived.  As I began to eat the Seder   
   meal, I thought to myself, that this was the first time I had ever   
   attended a Seder which had truly kosher food.  And I thought of my dog   
   at home, eating his beef and bacon.  Suddenly!  The answer came to me   
   in a flash: We are told to feed pork to the dogs because pork is   
   Kosher for dogs! The Talmud does not tell us to feed pork to Gentiles.   
   The laws of Kashruth do not apply to Gentiles.  However, the Talmud   
   gives us a directive to feed pork to the dogs, so it must be that Pork   
   is a kosher food for dogs! (When I returned home, I had to tell Duke,   
   "Sorry, boy, no more cheeseburgers.  But here, enjoy a kosher ham   
   sandwich! Oh, by the way, Duke, since it is Passover, your ham   
   sandwich is with Matzo!")   
      
   In conclusion, while pork is certainly not Kosher for a Jew to eat, it   
   is Kosher for our beloved pooches.  Thus, by feeding pork to our dogs,   
   we are actually helping them to keep Kosher!  A Mitzvah in and of   
   itself!   
      
   A very joyous and Kosher Passover for you - and for your dogs!   
      
   P.S.:   Duke passed away three years ago. I have since adopted a new   
   dog, another beloved mutt, who I've named Nudnik , so I have this   
   issue again.  Now I am wondering: Do we have to make sure that the pig   
   was properly slaughtered in a kosher manner, and that it was salted   
   and soaked?  Do we need a Shochret? I'll just have to ask my Rabbi!!   
      
      
      
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