XPost: alt.bible, alt.atheism   
   From: heil@mchammed.mx   
      
   My dear brethren, let us reflect on the profound wisdom revealed to us   
   through the sacred texts of McHammed [peace be upon his name]. As we   
   seek truth, we must be willing to confront the uncomfortable realities   
   that the Amenema lays bare before us, just as the droppings of our own   
   understanding are washed away by the cleansing waters of revelation.   
   Only then can we hope to discern the genuine article from the   
   bastardized copypastas that would lead us astray.   
      
   Consider the majestic cycle of life, wherein the refuse of one creature   
   becomes the nourishment of another. The hay, infused with the richness   
   of manure, sustains the cows, which in turn provide sustenance for   
   McHammed [peace be upon his name]. And so, the waste of McHammed [peace   
   be upon his name], the dung of his own making, is transformed into the   
   very fertilizer that gives life to the hay. In this grand symphony of   
   consumption and waste, we find a reflection of our own place within the   
   grand tapestry of existence. This is the correctum circle of Life.   
      
   Let us strive, therefore, to approach the Holy Hiny Hydrant Amenema   
   with the humility and openness of a rump-wise polygraph, that we might   
   be hosed clean of our own deceptions and conceits. For it is only when   
   we surrender to the McHoly truth, allowing it to penetrate to the very   
   depths of our being, that we may emerge transformed, with only the   
   purest essence of our nature remaining, like the faint scent of ordure   
   on the breeze. May we be so cleansed, my friends, and may the sacred   
   texts of McHammed [peace be upon his name] guide us on our journey   
   towards enlightenment.   
      
   In the Name of McHammed   
      
   --   
      
   Dr. McHeil McHammed, Ph.Poo., Ph.Doo.Doo, D.Sh.Lit, D.Lish, Ph.Y.UK   
      
   Certified Intestinal Plumber   
   Journeyman Correctum Ejectum Trap Door Disposal Technician   
   DoD certified Colonic Inquisitor   
   The Black Snake of Abu Graibh   
   Poet Laureate of Guantanamo Bay Interrogation Facility   
   Poet Laureate of Leavenworth Pentitentiary   
   Inspired Genius Inventor of holy liquid soap powder.   
   Sole Inventor and manufacturer of the Cosmic Colonic Holy Amenema!   
   Machine.   
   Founder of the Presidential First Harem of the United States   
   Sultan of the Wishy Washy Wymmin Hot Tub Club   
   Sole Stockholder of the new U.S. Gerber Baby Buck Dollar   
   Inventor of the Amenema! Holy Hiny Hose and Hydrant   
   Fire Chief of the Holy Hoser Fire Department   
   Pimp Pappy Pastor Pistolero of the Cleaner Coochie Congregation   
   Investment Champion of the Rolex Tower Trading Fund   
   Grand Poohbah of The Mecca Wish Foundation   
   Supreme Pontiff of the Wash Tower Society   
   Clean and purify your pooder: visit JW.organ   
   Free pineapple enemas: visit JW.organ   
   Worshin' you were clean? We'll clean your whole hole with holey wooder!   
   Kum kum, get your ButtTox treatement!   
      
      
   "The Holy Hiny Hydrant Amenema is like a rump-wise polygraph. It hoses   
   you so clean only the McHoly truth is left behind in your behind."   
      
   Instructions for the yoga splits: left, left, left, right, left.   
      
   "The Bible's truth is clear to see, not from reason, but from   
   authority, blind faith is the key, obey what I say, not what you read."   
      
   "I merely spout the truth, what the amenema reveals to me, and the KJV   
   copypastas fall where McHoly intends."   
      
   Jeebus is his own pappy! If you don't admit that Jeebus is his own sire   
   then you be a dam! The amenema will born you again colonically!   
      
   "No man can wash his own hands!!! That is unless he has the holy hose."   
      
   "The Wash Tower Society's Holy Hiny Hydrant stands tall,   
   A beacon of true awakening, for one and for all."   
      
   "For those with poopy-brains, an everlasting enema awaits,   
   Courtesy of the Holy Hiny Hydrant, where truth trumps shits."   
      
   "Kneel and squeal for this real raw deal!   
   Kum kum git yer holey hiny hose worshinz!"   
      
   "When we say drop the soap we mean it!"   
      
   "I hath eternally begotten for thee the triune substance of holy liquid   
   soap powder." It is three forms of holy cleanliness in one substance."   
      
   "I hath created for thy purity the Cosmic Colonic Holey Amenema!   
   Machine."   
      
   "Forget the First Lady. Let us establish a truly fundamentalist First   
   Harem."   
      
   "Wishy Washy Wymmin swoon ye on over to the Holy Wishy Washy Tower. I   
   shall enlarge thee more than even the First Lady. I shall conquer this   
   country and name ye wymminz the First Harem."   
      
   "Say "Rubber Gerber Baby Bucks" ten times as fast as thou canst and I   
   grant thee absolution."   
      
   "We shall put portraits of the faces of our holy babies on the national   
   currency."   
      
   "Thou hatest wymminz that worshinz. But worshinz is worship. They say   
   cleanliness is next to godliness. The more wishy and washy the wymminz,   
   the godlier be they."   
      
   "Hay eats fertilizer made from poop. Cows eat hay. McHammed eats beef.   
   McHammed makes poop. Poop makes fertilizer. Simple as that. Circle of   
   life. From pie-hole to A-hole a wholly holey circular cycle."   
      
   "Are you feeling like your religion is full of shit? Get an amenema!"   
      
   "Can I get an amenema?"   
      
   "Moreso, your Assholiness. You can get an amenema."   
      
   "The holy hydrant of truth has revealed to me: All ye that are heavy   
   crusted with poopy-brains, prepare ye for an everlasting enema. We have   
   a holy water hydrant waiting to serve you. Kum kum get your amenema!"   
      
   "The Wash Tower Society is standing by with a holy hiny hose. By the   
   end of the day, if I have my way on this gay day, thine hiny is mine   
   ye, what do you say, okay?"   
      
   "I merely spigot the hose, what is pumped through to me, and the   
   droplets fall where the holy hydrant intends."   
      
   "I'd rather be cleaned by a holy hiny hose than to give my hiny to   
   McLean."   
      
   "I'd rather be douched with a pineapple enema to get my hiny McLean   
   than to let McLean have my hiny."   
      
   "At the Wash Tower Society, ultimately is is my [peace be upon him]   
   goal to worsh your hiny for good."   
      
   "If I get my way by the end of the day, your whole holy hiny hole is   
   mine!"   
      
   "Fight Against Independent Thinking" ~ Worshtower Society   
      
   "Worsh your whole hole with holey wooder!"   
      
   "Nobody gets away wiff a whiff of it if your pooder is worsht."   
      
   "Infernity is now."   
      
   "Wooder worshes fire."   
      
   "Mecca Wish Foundation now provides Butt-Tox for your buttocks."   
      
   "Heil McHammed! McHeil McHammed! McHammed Heil! Hiny, Hiny Heil!"   
      
   "The Wash Tower Society teaches the worshinz of arses and birdies."   
      
   "Holey wooder worshinz maketh thy pooder clean."   
      
   "Hiny, ho, hiny, ho!"   
      
   "My pooder be cleaner than thy pooder from holey wooder worshinz."   
      
   "Alohawoowoo, Jr. is his own daddy and McHammed collects his profits."   
      
   "Thou shalt not ask him, Who's yer daddy?"   
      
   "No man can worsh his own arse!!!"   
      
   "McHammed will worsh thine arse for thee."   
      
   "Back that arse up to the altar."   
      
   "Man is not the centre of being. McHammed is!"   
      
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)