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   alt.suicide.holiday      The infamous alt.suicide.holiday group      500,053 messages   

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   Message 499,714 of 500,053   
   Sir Gregory Hall, Esq. to Colonel Edmund J. Burke   
   Re: A BLAST FROM THE PAST: HOBO JOE in "   
   25 Feb 18 18:18:42   
   
   XPost: alt.war.vietnam, alt.food.cooking, alt.magick   
   XPost: alt.home.repair, alt.online-service.webtv, alt.poetry   
   XPost: alt.support.depression, alt.online-service.webtv, soc.penpals   
   XPost: uk.misc, uk.rec.sheds, alt.online-service.webtv   
   XPost: alt.support.depression, alt.slack, alt.checkmate   
   XPost: alt.usage.english   
   From: greghall@yacht_maester.fake   
      
   On Sun, 25 Feb 2018 07:32:49 -0800, "Colonel Edmund J. Burke"  wrote:   
      
   >On 12/24/2009 7:23 AM, Colonel Edmund J. Burke wrote:   
   >> It all began when Hobo Joe and Homeless Lisa were outside Walmart last   
   Tuesday, panhandling the shoppers while pretending to be greeters.  Standing   
   beside the main entrance in the snowy morning freeze, Joe was guzzling some   
   Mad Dog 20-20, his alcohol    
   flushed mug redder than a bloody turd swimming in a truck stop toilet.  It   
   wasn't long before the Mad Dog filled his bladder, and he started pissing   
   freely, like a cow on a flat rock, without a goddamn care in the world.    
   That's when a security guard,    
   farting around out in the car park in his would-be official golf cart, noticed   
   Joe and the rivulet of piss streaming down the cement.  One old bitch with   
   ironed gray hair and legs like two telephone poles was making quite a   
   commotion, throwing her hands    
   up in the air, pointing at Joe's limp penis, which sorta dangled out the   
   zipper of his shit smeared jeans.  She stood there shaking a finger at his   
   cock. As this ruckus was happening, Lisa began to slunk away like a frightened   
   alley cat   
   >facing   
   >> a vicious pit-bull.   
   >>   
   >> As Joe sought to explain the situation, slurring most of his words, the   
   fatass Filipino guard was screwing his face up into a hideous mask. Shoppers   
   passed by, shaking their heads and starring, as Lisa snuck away, weaving   
   through the tangle of parked    
   cars in the huge parking lot, headed for their hang-out place in the park.    
   Along the way she was delighted to discover a half-devoured saliva drenched   
   big mac in a bus stop trashcan, and she snatched it outa there.  Fortunately   
   the flies hadn't been at    
   the burger too long, she decided, and shoved the moist buns and cold meat in   
   her hungry yap.  She didn't see Joe again until the next afternoon, when the   
   cops let him outa detox.  But he was all cleaned up, which was a great gift to   
   him for Christmas.   
   >>   
   >> Merry Christmas to all,   
   >>  From The Diary of Homeless Lisa   
      
   Dear Colonel,   
      
   I think I've got it figured out... Joe is really *Turkey* and Lisa is really   
   Turkey's   
   loser of a wife.   
      
   --   
      
   Yours Truly,   
   Gregory Hall   
      
   "Well, Rancho Kookamonga IP nothwithstanding (he used to have   
   a Texas IP, btw), it should be patently clear to everyone by   
   now who the Fake really is." --Rhonda Lea Kirk Fries   
      
   http://apprhondaleahkirkfries.blogspot.com/2014/05/rhonda-leah-k   
   rk-fries-interview.html   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)   

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