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Forums before death by AOL, social media and spammers... "We can't have nice things"

   alt.tv.simpsons      Worshipping Matt Groening      29,105 messages   

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   Message 27,168 of 29,105   
   sparkoheaps@gmail.com to All   
   Re: our GOP is run by 'cranks and crazie   
   24 Sep 12 19:51:31   
   
   >   
   >   
   > The Romneys donated about 16.4 percent of their adjusted gross income of   
   >   
   > $42.5 million in the two-year period, according to their 2010 tax   
   >   
   > returns and an estimate for 2011 taxes. The 2010 return shows $3 million   
   >   
   > in charitable contributions, and the 2011 estimate shows $4 million.   
   >   
      
   You posted this in the wrong news group.   
      
   Since most of these charitable contributions were tithes to the Mormon church,   
   you should have sent it to a South Park news group.   
      
   Ever since I was a child I tried to be the best   
   So, what happened?   
   My family and friends all said I was blessed   
   So, what happened?   
   It was supposed to be all so exciting to be teaching of Christ 'cross the sea,   
   But, I allowed my faith to be shaken.   
   Oh, what's the matter with me?   
      
   I've always longed to help the needy   
   To do the things I never dared.   
   This was the time for me to step up   
   So, then, why was I so scared?   
      
   A warlord who shoots people in the face.   
   What's so scary about that?   
   I must trust that my Lord is mightier   
   And always has my back.   
   Now I must be completely devout   
   I can't have even one shred of doubt...   
      
   I believe that the Lord, God, created the universe.   
   I believe that He sent His only Son to die for my sins.   
   And I believe that ancient Jews built boats and sailed to America   
   I am a Mormon,   
   And a Mormon just believes.   
      
   You cannot just believe part way,   
   You have to believe in it all.   
   My problem was doubting the Lord's will   
   Instead of standing tall.   
      
   I can't allow myself to have any doubt.   
   It's time to set my worries free.   
   Time to show the world what Elder Price is about!   
   And share the power inside of me...   
      
   I believe that God has a plan for all of us.   
   I believe that plan involves me getting my own planet.   
   And I believe; that the current President of The Church, Thomas Monson, speaks   
   directly to God.   
   I am A Mormon,   
   And, dang it! a Mormon just believes!   
      
   I know that I must go and do   
   The things my God commands.   
   I realize now why He sent me here.   
      
   If You ask the Lord in faith,   
   He will always answer you.   
   Just believe in Him   
   And have no fear!   
      
   I believe that Satan has a hold of you   
   I believe that the Lord, God, has sent me here   
   And I believe that in 1978, God changed his mind about black people!   
   You can be a Mormon..   
   A Mormon who just believes!   
      
   And now I can feel the excitement.   
   This is the moment I was born to do.   
   And I feel so incredible   
   To be sharing my faith with you.   
      
   The Scriptures say that if you ask in faith,   
   If you ask God Himself he'll know.   
   But you must ask Him without any doubt   
   And let your spirit grow...   
      
   I believe that God lives on a planet called Kolob.   
   I believe that Jesus has his own planet as well.   
   And I believe that the Garden of Eden was in Jackson County, Missouri.   
   If you believe, the Lord will reveal it.   
   And you'll know it's all true. You'll just feel it.   
   You'll be a Mormon   
   And, by gosh!   
   A Mormon just believes!   
   Oh, I believe.   
   I believe.   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)   

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