From: eastsidetraks@soothpark.net   
      
   On Sat,  2 Feb 2008 19:23:45 +0100 (CET), George Orwell   
    wrote:   
      
   >RESUME   
   >   
   >GEORGE W. BUSH   
   >1600 Pennsylvania Avenue   
   >Washington, DC 20520   
   >   
   >EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:   
   >   
   >Law Enforcement:   
   >I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976   
   >for driving under the influence of alcohol. I pled   
   >guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's license   
   >suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record   
   >has been 'lost' and is not available.   
   >   
   >Military:   
   >I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went   
   >AWOL. I refused to take a drug test or answer   
   >any questions about my drug use. By joining the   
   >Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid   
   >combat duty in Vietnam.   
   >   
   >College:   
   >I graduated from Yale University with a   
   >low C average. I was a cheerleader.   
   >   
   >PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:   
   >   
   >I ran for U.S. Congress and lost.   
   >   
   >I began my career in the oil business in Midland,   
   >Texas in 1975. I bought an oil company, but couldn't   
   >find any oil in Texas. The company went bankrupt   
   >shortly after I sold all my stock.   
   >   
   >I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a   
   >sweetheart deal that took land using   
   >taxpayer money.   
   >   
   >With the help of my father and our friends in the   
   >oil industry (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was   
   >elected governor of Texas.   
   >   
   >ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS:   
   >   
   >I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and   
   >oil companies, making Texas the most polluted state   
   >in the Union. During my tenure, Houston replaced Los   
   >Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America.   
   >   
   >I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to   
   >the tune of billions in borrowed money.   
   >   
   >I set the record for the most executions by any   
   >governor in American history.   
   >   
   >With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida ,   
   >and my father's appointments to the Supreme Court,   
   >I became President of the United States, after losing   
   >by over 500,000 votes.   
   >   
   >ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:   
   >   
   >I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office   
   >with a criminal record.   
   >   
   >I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing   
   >cost of over one billion dollars per week.   
   >   
   >I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted   
   >the U.S. Treasury.   
   >   
   >I shattered the record for the largest annual   
   >deficit in U.S. history.   
   >   
   >I set an economic record for most private   
   >bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.   
   >   
   >I set the all-time record for most foreclosures   
   >in a 12-month period.   
   >   
   >I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the   
   >history of the U.S. stock market. In my first year   
   >in office, over 2 million Americans lost their jobs   
   >and that trend continues.   
   >   
   >I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are   
   >the richest of any administration in U.S. history.   
   >My 'poorest millionaire,' Condoleezza Rice, has a   
   >Chevron oil tanker named after her.   
   >   
   >I set the record for most campaign fund-raising   
   >trips by a U.S. President.   
   >   
   >I am the all-time U.S. and world record -holder   
   >for receiving the most corporate   
   >campaign donations.   
   >   
   >My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and   
   >one of my best friends, Kenneth Lay, presided   
   >over the largest corporate bankruptcy   
   >fraud in U.S. history, Enron.   
   >   
   >My political party used Enron private jets and   
   >corporate attorneys to assure my success with   
   >the U.S. Supreme Court during my   
   >election decision.   
   >   
   >I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton   
   >against investigation or prosecution. More time and   
   >money was spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky   
   >affair than has been spent investigating one of the   
   >biggest corporate rip-offs in history. I presided over   
   >the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused   
   >to intervene when corruption involving the oil   
   >industry was revealed.   
   >   
   >I presided over the highest gasoline prices   
   >in U.S. history.   
   >   
   >I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted   
   >criminals to be awarded government contracts.   
   >   
   >I appointed more convicted criminals to my   
   >administration than any President in U.S. history.   
   >   
   >I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the   
   >largest bureaucracy in the history of the United   
   >States Government.   
   >   
   >I've broken more international treaties than   
   >any President in U.S. history.   
   >   
   >I am the first President in U.S. history to have   
   >the United Nations remove the U.S. from the   
   >Human Rights Commission.   
   >   
   >I withdrew the U.S. from the   
   >World Court of Law.   
   >   
   >I refused to allow inspector's access to   
   >'prisoners of war' detainees and thereby   
   >have refused to abide by the Geneva   
   >Convention.   
   >   
   >I am the first President in history to refuse   
   >United Nations election inspectors   
   >(during the 2002 US election).   
   >   
   >I set the record for fewest numbers of press   
   >conferences of any President since the   
   >advent of television.   
   >   
   >I set the all-time record for most days on   
   >vacation in any one-year period.   
   >After taking off the entire month of   
   >August, I presided over the worst   
   >security failure in U.S. history.   
   >   
   >I garnered the most sympathy ever for the   
   >U.S. after the World Trade Center ttacks and   
   >less than a year later made the U.S. the most   
   >hated country in the world, the largest failure   
   >of diplomacy in world history.   
   >   
   >I have set the all-time record for most people   
   >worldwide to simultaneously protest me in public   
   >venues (15 million people), shattering the record   
   >for protests against any person in the   
   >history of mankind.   
   >   
   >I am the first President in U.S. history to order   
   >an unprovoked, pre-emptive attack and the   
   >military occupation of a sovereign nation. I did   
   >so against the will of the United Nations, the   
   >majority of U.S. Citizens and the world community.   
   >   
   >I have cut health care benefits for war veterans   
   >and support a cut in duty benefits for active duty   
   >troops and their families in wartime.   
   >   
   >In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our   
   >reasons for attacking Iraq and then blamed the   
   >lies on our British friends.   
   >   
   >I am the first President in history to have a   
   >majority of Europeans (71%) view my presidency   
   >as the biggest threat to world peace and security.   
   >   
   >I am supporting development of a nuclear   
   >'Tactical Bunker Buster,' a WMD.   
   >   
   >I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring   
   >Osama Bin Laden to justice.   
   >   
   >RECORDS AND REFERENCES:   
   >   
   >All records of my tenure as governor of Texas   
   >are now in my father's library, sealed and   
   >unavailable for public view.   
   >   
   >All records of SEC investigations into my insider   
   >trading and my bankrupt companies are sealed   
   >in secrecy and unavailable for public view.   
   >   
   >All records or minutes from meetings that I, or   
   >my Vice-President, attended regarding public   
   >energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable   
   >for public review. I specified that my sealed documents   
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)