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    Yes to Gossamer   
      
    All That I Love   
   by Lashala   
   Lashala@hotmail.com   
      
   Part 1   
   Please see part 0 (template) for warnings and summary.   
      
   Title:  All That I Love (Sequel to 'Twist & Turns' in the 'What's In A Dream'   
   series)   
      
   Author: Lashala   
      
   Rating:  NC-17. Probably not that bad but let's not take chances!   
      
   Keywords:  M/K, Slash, Angst, Romance   
      
   Disclaimer:  I don't own any of the 'X-Files' characters, Ten-Thirteen   
   Productions or any of that great stuff, but I wish I did. All the other stuff   
   in this work is my idea! If you don't know what slash is or you're under age,   
   go home!   
      
   Summary:  AU. Present time. A brief interlude and a difficult choice. Krycek's   
   POV. If you haven't read the first four works in this series, do that   
   first.   
      
   Spoilers:  None. Just a few random references here and there on past   
   encounters.   
      
   Archive:  Sure...but ask first! And be nice! I've heard some stuff and I don't   
   like being mistreated so I'm going to check on things.   
      
   Thank you's: Thanks to Tammy for proofing and making sure I don't look like a   
   *complete* spelling idiot. Thanks to Bianca for giving me a web page to present   
   my work and a belated thanks to Jinn for helping me keep the 'mood' right   
   through all this. I couldn't do this without you!   
      
   Feedback:  Thanks again for all your support and enthusiasm over my series.   
   Here's hoping this also meets your expectations. If you enjoy, I've got some   
   more out there so feed me! lashala@hotmail.com.   
      
   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
      
   Present Time - March   
      
   Location Unknown   
   Alexandria, VA   
   Saturday, early morning   
      
   I wake the best way *anyone* could on a weekend...   
      
   With my lover between my legs, rocking me slowly.   
      
   Fox makes love in a way I still can't define. I don't even remember him moving   
   into me but now... Now, I can't envision him ever *not being* inside me.   
      
   Is there any part of my body that can fuse itself to him? Bond us beyond mere   
   flesh? Make us one heart, one soul, one life? I've never needed someone so   
   much. Never wanted anyone so deeply.   
      
   That scares me sometimes.   
      
   Enough I ran from him. Again. God bless his courage to find me and bring me   
   back. I'm more a coward than he'll ever realize. I didn't have the strength to   
   do it myself.   
      
   Let me explain. It all started with those dreams. I've mentioned those before,   
   haven't I? Okay. Thought I had. Then you know what I've been going through.   
      
   A few nights ago I ended up at Fox's door for the first time on my own with no   
   real ulterior motive. I didn't even bring a bug, a camera, a file; nothing.   
   Only myself, a few condoms (I'm gay, I *never* go out unprepared), and my   
   aching, horny body. He opened his door and I took a few minutes to stare at the   
   best fantasy a gay man could ever want.   
      
   I wish you could have seen him; dressed in black from his jeans to his shirt,   
   bare feet flexing on the floor and a devious smile I could *never* master. He   
   invited me in...   
      
   And we went right past Hell and straight to the handcart.   
      
   He took my jacket and tried to make small talk. Fox isn't good at that and I'm   
   a poorer apprentice. So what did he do to break the ice? Tried to break his   
   hand in the closet door.   
      
   The crazy shit!   
      
   Ironically, it helped some. I dragged him to his kitchen and packed a bag of   
   ice. Then I panicked at my sudden 'Suzy Homemaker moment' and walked off. The   
   next thing I know he's on top of me, we're making out on his new sofa (oh yes,   
   that was a *bigger* shock) then I'm walking with him to his bedroom.   
      
   Okay... Now *here's* where the *handcart* got away from me.   
      
   He told me he'd been dreaming too. Knew things about me I'd never shared. Knew   
   what I'd endured in Tunguska, and other...places. It was a bit too much for me   
   to take in and he let it go. Tried passion instead.   
      
   I doubted every bit of it.   
      
   We were a breath away from making love and I turned on him. Accused him of   
   drugging me, making me dream so he could do what I *knew* he'd planned all   
   along. Get info. I didn't have it to give and that set me off. I mean, look   
   where I was! What it seemed was about to happen. Fox Mulder between *my* legs?   
   Then? Because he just *wanted* to?! It was a 'no way in hell, it had to freeze   
   over and the devil couldn't *find* skates' kind of moment.   
      
   I took it like that and went pissy.   
      
   Next thing I knew I was getting clothes tossed into my face, a bathroom door   
   slammed in it and told to get out. I did. Should have known I couldn't leave   
   *that* easily.   
      
   Scully was there, had bugged my car with a tracking device and GPS'ed me right   
   to my hideaway. While I tried to wash out my frustrations in a steaming   
   shower, *   
   she* was outside my bedroom waiting.   
      
   Want to guess how close I came to needing another bath when I opened the door   
   and saw her?   
      
   To make a long story short she rode my ass big time. Told me she knew all about   
   the dreams; that she and Fox had talked and came to help him resolve our   
   animosity once and for all.   
      
   Did you just go 'say what?!' Yeah, thought so. You couldn't have been any more   
   shocked than I was.   
      
   It was hard for me to believe her. Or him. Yeah, Fox was there too. Prick   
   picked the lock on the backdoor. He's been around me *too* much. Anyway, they   
   finally got some things through my thick skull (without hitting me for once),   
   Fox admitted he'd been a nervous ass earlier (well, duh!) and I realized I was   
   indeed amongst friends (amazing grace, you know?!). But mostly, I was next to   
   the lover I've always wanted and never thought I'd get. That alone made me want   
   to slow down the fight.   
      
   When he told me he loved *me*, I threw in the towel.   
      
   He made love to me that night. A lot. Knew what I'd endured with the Consortium   
   and worked through it.   
      
   Oh that? Nothing much. Just rapes, drugging, abuse; the usual stuff a shadow   
   organization's good at. They wanted to perfect their control and let me say   
   here and now, they had a lot of practice on *me*.   
      
   Something happened to me. I don't know what, don't remember, but it must have   
   been bad. Really bad. According to Fox, whatever they did messed with me; drove   
   my fear level through the roof. That's all he'd say.   
      
   I don't know what kind of fear he's talking about. I'm an assassin. I'm a   
   killer. Damn good at it too! What's fear to me? I've had a fucking arm hacked   
   off and lived. Yeah, it hurt. So does getting it broken. Or having a root   
   canal.   
      
   Pain, like fear, just comes in different levels.   
      
   I don't know what I was supposed to be afraid of. Fox won't say but I get the   
   impression *my* fear was sky high. Funny thing about that is I don't know what   
   I was supposed to be *scared* of and he won't say either. He won't tell me,   
   won't give me any indication of what happened to me. I know he knows but he   
   won't say.   
      
   I could probably threaten to kick his ass but the way we are right now that'd   
   probably thrill him. Kinky little shit.   
      
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)