From: dana_scully_mulders_protege@hotmail.com   
      
   Title: Scorned   
      
   Author: Foxs_Dana   
      
   Email: dana_scully_mulders_protege@hotmail.com   
      
   Rating: G   
      
   Category/keywords: Mulder and Scully   
   Relationship/Shipper/MulderPOV/Mulder Angst   
      
   Spoilers: "En ami"   
      
   Dedication: To all the Mulder/Scully shippers out there and fellow X-   
   Philes. A special dedication to my friend and "sister" Jess who   
   helped me come up with this idea one night and encouraged me to   
   write it. And also to the real "Mulder" in my life, my supportive   
   and loving husband.   
      
   Summary: After his partner has returned back from her trip with the   
   CSM, Fox Mulder feels betrayed. Now he sits in his apartment in the   
   darkness with a loaded gun and contemplates the past seven years of   
   their partnership and friendship. Can Scully save him from this   
   darkness or will it consume him?   
      
   Feedback: Please....I love it! This is my first attempt at writing a   
   fic from Mulder's POV so please let me know what you think!   
      
   Archive: yeah sure just let me know where it's going   
      
   Disclaimer:  The characters of the X-Files do not belong to me but   
   are the property of Chris Carter, 20th Century Fox and 1013   
   Productions. Any similarities to the names or places of the   
   fictional aspects of this story are purely coincidental.   
      
   Note: I have always wondered exactly what happened at the end of "En   
   ami". It was obvious that Mulder was very hurt at Scully not telling   
   him anything, so what did he do?Obviously something must have   
   happened to have him gain her trust again. Anyway this fic attempts   
   to explore that.   
      
      
      
      
   Sitting in the darkness, I lay my head back and take in slow, deep   
   breaths. The contemplations in my mind are mirrored by the blackness   
   which surrounds me. Even the faint light which radiates from my fish   
   tank brings me no comfort. I shun it as well as the creatures who   
   swim so peacefully and appear full of bliss. I hate them. Hate them   
   for not being a part of the world that I am now sinking into. A   
   world that I thought I had escaped from many years ago and would   
   never return to. The world that tried to claim me so many times in   
   the past but failed. There had appeared a light in that darkness to   
   lead me out and make me want to live. But now that light has begun   
   to flicker and I find myself standing just on the other side of that   
   doorway. The doorway that leads to that place which is devoid of   
   love,happiness,peace, friendship and trust.   
        I clench my fists. How could she do this to me?After seven   
   years of building a friendship based on trust and understanding how   
   could she do this?She was my light, my beacon, my reason to want to   
   keep going. The reason that I had not taken a gun to my head and   
   actually pulled the trigger. She was the only one who truly   
   understood me and made me feel whole. Who showed me a different side   
   of the world other than what I have known. And now in less than a   
   week everything that has been built on this friendship and   
   partnership has been claimed by darkness. Temptation has reared its   
   ugly head and triumphed for evil. And a part of me has been ripped   
   apart as well. I can feel the protective shell beginning to form   
   around me that I had previously shed. I'm now finding out that she   
   has been just like all the others. All the others who have promised   
   me heaven and given me hell. Who have made me open myself up only to   
   be hurt. And now I sit here a shattered man.   
        I would have died for her. Gone to the ends of the earth for   
   her. Avenged her death to the end of my days. I would even have been   
   willing to change my life for her had it been called for. Now all I   
   can do is sit here and hate her for doing this to me. Hate her for   
   making me feel like a fool. Hate her for breaking her trust for a   
   man we have grown to despise! The very one who is responsible for   
   all the pain we have suffered! The smoking devil himself! I can   
   almost see him leering at me now, taunting me from across the room.   
   Laughing as he holds Scully by the neck, whispering into her ear.   
   That bastard! He has taken my Scully away from me!   
        Picking up a pillow from the couch I throw it hard against the   
   wall. I then bring my legs to my chin on the couch. Rocking back and   
   forth, I remember that special night. The night that brought more   
   hope for me, bringing me closer to that light. The feel of her   
   tender lips on mine for that brief moment is something I shall never   
   forget. It was the kiss of an angel, my savior, my guiding star in   
   the dark sky. And it was at that moment in time that I felt the wall   
   around my heart collapse and the possibility of a new life forming   
   in my mind. And now that kiss has become one of betrayal, from a   
   temptress,a claimer of souls.   
        On the way back, I had chosen to close myself off from her.   
   Even though she had tried desperately to explain to me the reasons   
   for her actions, I ignored her. All I knew was that she had lied to   
   me, betrayed my trust. Had gone with the one responsible for the   
   horrors we had faced. And all I wanted to do was get away from her,   
   get back home to my sanctuary. And now as I sit here, I find myself   
   thinking about that gun once again. What would it matter anyway?The   
   one person I truly cared for has now betrayed me! I glance over at   
   the holster on the table containing the item that could change   
   everything, could end my misery. It's then that I hear a knock at   
   the door. I put my head between my knees choosing to ignore it. I   
   then hear another knock followed by a voice.   
        "Mulder, it's me."   
        Normally that familiar phrase would bring joy to me. Hearing   
   her voice on my cell or answering machine would send waves of   
   comfort and happiness through me. But now all it does is serve as a   
   knife which plunges deep into my heart and tears it. I hear another   
   knock.   
        "Mulder, please open the door. I know you're in there."   
        I lift my head and turn towards the door. "Go away, Scully."   
        "Please, Mulder. I just want to talk to you."   
        "There's nothing to talk about!" I find myself snapping back.   
        A clicking sound resounds from the door before it slowly opens.   
   Standing in the doorway the figure places keys back in their   
   pocket. "Mulder, why is it so dark in here?"   
        "Because the lights are off."   
        "Dammit, Mulder that's not what I'm talking about!" She then   
   closes the door behind her. "If I'm going to talk to you, I would   
   rather do it with some light."   
        "Knock yourself out."   
        She lets out a sigh before flipping the light switch by the   
   door.   
        I squint slightly as the light hits my eyes, causing my pupils   
   to dilate. Feeling my head pounding, I put my hand to my forehead,   
   rubbing it. "All right, now that you've taken away my atmosphere and   
   given me an excruciating headache, what do you want?"   
        "Atmosphere?" She asks looking around the room. "You call   
   sitting in the darkness all by yourself and feeling sad,   
   ATMOSPHERE?!"   
        "What do you want?" I ask in a now irritated voice.   
        "I came over here to talk to you."   
        "And I told you there is NOTHING to talk about." I reply as I   
   cross my arms. "Is that it?"   
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)