From: xf_emily_sim@yahoo.ca   
      
   No Archive   
   Title: Coloring Outside The Lines   
   Author: Emily Sim   
   Rating: R for adult themes   
   Category: AU/MSR of a sort   
   Spoilers: None   
      
   Disclaimer: Still don't own them, no money changed   
   hands and I always put them back when I'm done.   
      
   Notes: Many thanks go out to xdks who makes my work   
   readable - she is truly a gem and I'm honored to count   
   her as friend. Thanks also to Conundrum who whose   
   honest comments helped clean this thing up and to   
   Siggy for always being willing to let me try out my   
   new ideas on her. Special thanks to bellefleur, who   
   keeps me grounded in so many different ways.   
      
   Summary: I think you'll just have to read it.   
      
   Feedback to: xf_emily_sim@yahoo.ca   
      
   ***************   
      
   Coloring Outside The Lines   
      
   June 2006   
      
   **************   
      
   "Stand still, Megs." Scully fussed with the bow of the   
   dress, straightening out the ties.   
      
   "It’s fine, Mommy." She shifted from foot to foot   
   impatiently. "Daddy won't care."   
      
   "I care, Meg." She smoothed the back of the dress down   
   and gave her daughter a pat. "There, perfect."   
      
   Meghan whirled around and planted a sloppy kiss on her   
   mother's cheek. "Thanks, Mommy."   
      
   Scully's smile was sad. "You're welcome, sweetie. Now   
   go get your bag and your shoes and set them by the   
   door so you won't keep your daddy waiting." She   
   watched Meghan skip through the door, her long dark   
   hair a striking contrast against the pink dress. It   
   always surprised her how much more like Melissa she   
   was. And Mulder. There was so much of him in their   
   little girl. She tucked a stray hair behind one ear   
   and headed downstairs. There was a good chance Meghan   
   had got sidetracked and she didn't want to have Mulder   
   waiting longer than necessary.   
      
   "Boo!" Meghan jumped out from behind the family room   
   door.   
      
   Scully gave a startled yelp and then laughed. A   
   precocious 4 year-old, Meghan loved to play this   
   particular game, enjoyed trying to scare her. "You   
   monkey. Where are your shoes?"   
      
   "There." She stuck her chin out and pointed towards   
   the front door. "How come, Mommy?"   
      
   "How come what, sweetie?"   
      
   "Daddy."   
      
   Scully felt her stomach lurch. She knew exactly what   
   her precious daughter was asking. They'd been over it   
   so many times Meghan had the question down to a single   
   word. She asked it each and every time she spent the   
   night with Mulder.   
      
   "Not now, Meghan." She had no single word answer for   
   her daughter and now was not the time to get into it.   
   Again. "Get your shoes on, honey."   
      
   Meghan dutifully did as she was told.   
      
   "Hold on a sec, Megs, I think you should take   
   something in case it cools off later." She opened the   
   closet and pulled out a jacket.   
      
   "Yuck, I don't like that one." Meghan slipped her   
   black Mary Janes off and ran up the stairs, returning   
   a short time later with a green sweater. "Just like   
   the flowers in your garden, Mommy."   
      
   Ah, the Sweet Williams they'd planted last weekend.   
   "You're prettier than the flowers."   
      
   "You’re pretty too, Mommy."   
      
   Scully smiled, Meghan's exuberance was hard to resist.   
   "I think I hear a car. Why don't you check?"   
      
   Meghan pulled the door open a crack and then, with a   
   squeal of delight, opened it further. "Daddy's here!   
   And he's in the black one, Mommy."   
      
   Scully knew what the 'black one' meant. After years of   
   a Spartan existence, Mulder had suddenly discovered he   
   liked buying cars. At least the BMW only had two   
   seats; she wouldn't have to be treated to the sight of   
   someone else occupying the front with him.   
      
   She bent down to give Meghan a kiss and hug. Overnight   
   bag in hand, and Meghan in front of her for good   
   measure, she opened the door wider. She needn't have   
   worried; Mulder had opted to stand by the car and   
   wait. She returned his wave.   
      
   "Bye, Mommy." Meghan was already on her way so   
   Scully's answering goodbye was missed. With a quick   
   nod to Mulder, she closed the door.   
      
   It echoed loudly in the hallway.   
      
   ************   
      
   Scully had a fire lit in the patio chimney, and a   
   bottle of red wine to keep her company. She determined   
   it was going to be one of those nights shortly after   
   Meghan left and the silence seemed to weigh her down.   
   She made a weak attempt to call and elicit company,   
   but no one was available. Even Maggie had a date.   
      
   It was her mom's second or third with the same man,   
   someone she'd met through the singles and widowers   
   club at the church. Maggie had dragged her to one of   
   those functions last month and it had been a   
   depressing experience. There had been the usual   
   contingent of widowed men and women roughly the same   
   age as her mom, and then there had been the younger   
   set; the single moms and the much smaller group of   
   single dads and divorced men. She felt like she was on   
   display and found wanting. She wasn't good at small   
   talk, at least not the kind that the situation   
   demanded. Pathology just wasn't the sort of work that   
   lent itself to funny stories, at least not what most   
   men found funny. She listened courteously as a couple   
   of the men made weak attempts to hit on her, leaving   
   as soon as it was polite to do so.   
      
   Scully took another sip of wine, welcoming the warmth   
   that ran from her head to her toes, and thought back.   
   It was almost a year now and the wound was still raw.   
   She closed her eyes and let the pain wash over her.   
      
   *********   
      
   August 15, 2005   
      
   Scully pulled her mask and gloves off. It had been   
   another long day and her fatigue was compounded by   
   lack of sleep. She buzzed for the diener to come and   
   finish up. A shower would eat up more precious   
   minutes, but it was essential. She briefly thought   
   about calling her mother to pick Meghan up, but didn't   
   want to get into another argument with her. Meghan   
   been at daycare since eight that morning and it was   
   doubtful Mulder had thought about picking her up.   
      
   "What else is new."   
      
   "Pardon me?"   
      
   Scully turned, startled. "Sorry, Jake, I didn't   
   realize you were there."   
      
   "S'okay, Dr. Scully. All done?"   
      
   "Yeah. Thanks, Jake."   
      
   "No problem, it's why they pay me the big bucks. Have   
   a nice night."   
      
   "You too."   
      
   Scully showered quickly, tying her wet hair into a   
   pony tail, affirming once again that growing her hair   
   out had been a smart move. It had literally taken an   
   hour off her morning preparations and at times like   
   this it was a godsend. She tossed her used scrubs into   
   the hamper and changed. Soon she was making her way to   
   the FBI Daycare Centre located on the second floor.   
      
   Meghan was hungry, tired, and grouchy, adding to her   
   mother's well-honed guilt.   
      
   "Come on, honey."   
      
   "I'm tired." Meghan flopped down at her feet.   
      
   "Mommy's too tired to carry you tonight, pumpkin, and   
   you're a big girl. Three-year-olds walk; up you get,   
   Megs."   
      
   Meghan began whining, her limbs limp as Scully tried   
   to get her up. "Not now, Meghan, Mommy's had a long   
   day. Get up."   
      
   "I can't." Tears were added to her whining.   
      
   "Meghan Christina Mulder, up now." Scully made another   
   attempt to lift her, but the child's arms slipped   
   through her hands like wet noodles. God, she hated   
   when Meghan did this.   
      
   Susan, one of the caregivers intervened, giving Scully   
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)