From: bellydancergirl7@aol.com   
      
   All notes disclosed in chapter one.   
      
   A/N: the reason I'm updating so frequently is because I have to so I    
   can get a certain chapter out at the appropriate time.   
      
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   Two weeks later, May 2005   
      
   Mulder knew he wanted a child. Not just any child—Cassie. He didn't    
   care if she wasn't his own flesh and blood. She was quite possibly    
   the kindest, sweetest child he'd ever met. She always had a smile on    
   her face and a laugh on the tip of her tongue. Mulder knew he was in    
   love with her.   
      
   "Mulder, can we watch a movie?" she asked, pulling on his hand.   
      
   He lifted her up quickly, swinging her around a bit. "I don't know.    
   Isn't it close to your bedtime?"   
      
   "I don't know. I don't know how to tell time."   
      
   "Well, what time does mommy start getting you ready for bed?"   
      
   "I take my bath at seven thirty and go to bed at eight," she    
   remembered.   
      
   "Lucky you, it's seven-fifteen now. That means you have fifteen    
   minutes before your bath," he explained for her.   
      
   "Can we watch TV?" she tried again.   
      
   "I don't see why not. What do you normally watch?"   
      
   "Me and mommy always watch TV Land. We both love Lucy."   
      
   Mulder gasped. "So do I. I have a thing for redheads."   
      
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   "Mulder, look! I'm Captain, just like grandpa," Cassie called over to    
   him.   
      
   Mulder didn't bother to hide his smile when he saw Cassie with her    
   boat upside down on her head. "Your grandpa's a captain?"   
      
   "Yup, he tells me boat stories all the time."   
      
   "Tell me, Cassie. Is your grandpa a big man?" Mulder wondered,    
   already anticipating future meetings. She just gave him a blank    
   stare. "Is he as tall as me or taller?"   
      
   "He's tall like you. So's my Uncle Bill."   
      
   "Do they have my build? Are they my size?"   
      
   Cassie nodded, quickly losing interest.   
      
   "What about grandma?" Mulder tried. "Is grandma nice?"   
      
   "Gran-ma's the best. She spoils me. And she let's me help her cook    
   and bake cookies."   
      
   "I bet you eat the cookie dough when grandma's not looking," he    
   teased. He pulled her from the tub, wrapping a fluffy towel around    
   her.   
      
   "Gran-ma doesn't let me but mommy taught me how to sneak cookie    
   dough."   
      
   "Did she? I wouldn't have guessed that about mommy."   
      
   "She said she ust to do it too when she was little like me."   
      
   "I bet she did."   
      
   He finished drying her off, making her laugh when he blew a raspberry    
   on her stomach. He helped her into her blue pajamas and carried her    
   to her bedroom. He had her grab her brush from her dresser before he    
   settled her in his lap in the rocking chair.   
      
   As he brushed her long hair slightly damp from the bath, she was    
   silent for a little while. But as Mulder learned, Cassie couldn't be    
   quiet for long.   
      
   "Where's mommy, Mulder?"   
      
   "She has to work late, Cassie. There was a big accident and the    
   hospital's short on staff," he explained to her for the second time.   
      
   "Oh." She stayed quiet for a few more minutes. "Mulder?"   
      
   "Yes, sweetheart?"   
      
   "Do you love my mommy?"   
      
   Mulder couldn't help but smile. "Yes, I do. Very much."   
      
   "Do you love me?"   
      
   "Yes, I do. Just as much."   
      
   "Do you love us the same way?"   
      
   "No, sweetheart. I love you both in two completely different ways.    
   One day, you'll know the difference," he explained. After running his    
   hands through her hair to make sure he didn't miss any tangles, he    
   picked her up and tucked her into bed.   
      
   "Will you tell em a story, please?"   
      
   "Ah, Cassie, I don't know any stories," he complained lightly.   
      
   "Tell me `bout you and mommy's future."   
      
   Mulder sighed and settled next to her. "All right. But this stays    
   between me and you."   
      
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   Mulder flipped slowly through the channels, one eye watching the    
   clock. 9:07 pm. He knew she was supposed to be late but he was    
   starting to get worried. He'd already stared out the window for a    
   good twenty minutes. He'd checked in on Cassie three times since she    
   fell asleep. He couldn't stop shaking his leg in anticipation for her    
   to come home.   
      
   He heard the door knob jiggle. He jumped up quickly when the door    
   began to open. He was ready to defend if he had to. His body heaved a    
   sigh when he saw Dana shuffle through the doorway.   
      
   "Hey, I was starting to get worried about you," he began to say.    
   That's when he noticed how red her eyes were. "What's wrong?"   
      
   She sniffled, dropping her purse down on a table. "Nothing. Nothing's    
   wrong," she lied.   
      
   He clicked off the TV and made his way over to her. He pulled her    
   into his arms and was glad when she didn't protest. To his surprise,    
   she settled into his arms, her hands clutching at his shirt.   
      
   He rubbed her back soothingly, clutching her tightly. "What's wrong?"    
   What happened?"   
      
   He hadn't minded when she'd been pulled from their dinner. She'd been    
   so apologetic but he simply reminded her it was her job. He gladly    
   took over the nightly rituals with Cassie; he saw it as bonding. But    
   now, he needed her to bond with him.   
      
   She sniffled a few times before she felt strong enough to    
   answer. "That `accident' tonight—they were all children. All little    
   girls Cassie's age. Two of them were already dead but the rest…"   
      
   She started to cry harder than the light tears that were already    
   falling. He rubbed her back more firmly. "Shh, take your time, Dana,"    
   he murmured.   
      
   She took a few deep breaths before she continued. "I doubt they'll    
   ever get over the trauma of what was done to them."   
      
   He held her tightly, willing himself not to cry. He murmured    
   reassuring words to her, kissing the top of her head. He let her cry,    
   let her release her pain. He knew she saw Cassie when she had    
   children as patients. What he didn't know was how she handled it day    
   after day.   
      
   "Howe could someone do that, Mulder? They're little kids, they have    
   their whole lives in front of them and they'll probably spend most of    
   their time in a psychologist's office."   
      
   The next few sentences she said were inaudible but he understood what    
   she was trying to say. He hushed her, trying to get her to calm down.    
   He saw a flash of brown out of the corner of his eye. Cassie. She had    
   a frightened look on her face. He motioned for her to stay quiet    
   before motioning for her to go back to her room. Luckily, she did,    
   but she kept one eye on them.   
      
   He focused his attention back to Dana. He smoothed her hair away from    
   her face, pulling away to wipe the tears from her face.   
      
   "It's all right now. It's out of your hands now. You've done all you    
   could," he told her in a calm voice. "I want you to stop worrying and    
   I want you to relax."   
      
   "I can't," she whined.   
      
   But he was determined. "Yes, you can. I want you to take a nice, long    
   bath and get your mind as far away from it as possible. There's    
   nothing else you can do today."   
      
   It took a few more minutes of cajoling but he finally talked her into    
   taking a bath. She'd been in there no less than ten minutes when    
   Cassie came out to him with tears running down her face.   
      
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)