From: michele.samuelson@gmail.com   
      
   TITLE: When Those Who Wander are Lost   
   AUTHOR: Maidenjedi   
   FANDOM: The X-Files   
   RATING: R   
   CATEGORY: post-series, Mulder/Scully   
   SPOILERS: The whole series is up for grabs   
   DISCLAIMER: Not my characters, my concept, or my show. Damn it.   
   ARCHIVE:  Anywhere, just keep my name on it.     
   SUMMARY:  When the world doesn't end, how do you keep going?   
      
   NOTES:  A companion piece to "The End of Eschatology According    
   to Fox Mulder."  Unnecessary to read that first; just know that    
   the world isn't ending after all, and Mulder and Scully are    
   "back."   
      
   Many apologies to Tolkien for the title.   
      
   I apologize if any of you are receiving this twice.  Been a long    
   time since I posted to mailing lists!   
      
   Many, many thanks to everyone who commented on "Eschatology!"     
   You guys have made my year!   
      
   xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx   
      
      
   She woke up in a cold bed and knew immediately that she was    
   somewhere she didn't belong.     
      
   "Dana?  Breakfast is ready."   
      
   She rubbed her eyes and tried to think.  That was her mother's voice.   
   She reached out with both hands and determined she was in a twin    
   bed, and there was no one with her.  She had to pee and the sun was    
   winking at her through the window, blinding her a little and muddling   
   her thoughts further.   
      
   Was she a child or an adult?  What year was this?  She ran her    
   hands down her front and confirmed she was the grown-up version    
   of Dana Katherine Scully.   
      
   The last vestiges of sleep fled as it all came back to her.     
   She was at her mother's house in Baltimore; she'd arrived last    
   evening.  Mulder wasn't with her, he'd elected to stay in    
   Washington and he hadn't called her last night.   
      
   She felt for her cell phone on the nightstand, wondering if    
   maybe she had just slept so hard that she never heard it ring.     
   But there were no missed calls, and she made up her mind not to    
   think about it.  They needed to take some time to adjust, to    
   think.  She'd said so herself.  He was just taking what she'd    
   said to heart.   
      
   "Dana?"  Her mother was at the door now, with a cup of coffee in    
   her hand.   
      
   ---   
      
   Mulder finally did call, and her first instinct was to give him    
   hell for not calling the moment Marita had left him last night.   
      
   But she didn't, and they talked it through.  Falling into a pattern    
   she'd thought they'd left behind with their old lives.     
      
   He wanted her to come with him to meet Kersh, but she happened to    
   catch her mother's eye, and she planned to say no if he asked.  He    
   didn't, but that was probably because their old telepathy was at    
   work, and not because he was ditching her again.     
      
   Probably not.   
      
   They hung up and she finished breakfast, eggs and hash browns and    
   toast with strawberry jam.  When she'd arrived the day before,    
   Maggie had spent the first hour crying and gushing and demanding    
   information, and the second hour at the store buying all of her    
   daughter's favorite things.  Favorite things from childhood,    
   anyway - Scully couldn't recall the last time she'd eaten toast   
   with jam that wasn't some special high-fiber brand bread and    
   organic fruit, and it was probably back while she was    
   pregnant....   
      
   She swallowed the last bite of toast and forced the thought of    
   pregnancy from her head.    
      
   Her mother scraped the last bit jam up from her plate with the    
   last bit of toast, and looked her daughter over carefully.  Scully    
   squirmed a little under the scrutiny, waiting for the question she    
   couldn't answer.    
      
   "So, what are you going to do, Dana?"   
      
   ---   
      
   The first thing she did was drive to the pier where they had    
   spread her father's ashes all those years ago.  She and Mulder    
   hadn't been east of Pennsylvania in three years, and she had    
   dreamt of Ahab in recent months.   
      
   The wind whipped her hair, which was longer than it had ever    
   been before.  She liked it this way, liked having a long    
   curtain to hide behind or let trail behind her as desired.     
   She hadn't been in an autopsy bay since they went into hiding,    
   so there was no real need to keep it short.  She thought maybe    
   she would give up cutting altogether now, since it was no longer    
   necessary to hide her appearance.   
      
   Besides, Mulder liked it this way.   
      
   She breathed deeply, taking in the salty air like a rebellious    
   mermaid surfacing for a peek at the sky.  She had missed this,    
   how the sea and the sky would blend, indistinguishable in the haze.     
   She felt like Ahab were here beside her, his hand on her shoulder    
   as he gave her advice.   
      
   Except that she couldn't hear his voice.   
      
   Tears welled up and she refused to let them fall.  The world wasn't    
   ending!  She should be celebrating!   
      
   But her cell phone had been silent since breakfast, and even when    
   they'd shut down the X-files and Mulder had a new partner, he'd    
   managed to call more than this.   
      
   They weren't even together then.   
      
   Were they together now?   
      
   She went home and if the tears fell, she managed to mistake them    
   for sea spray.   
      
   ---   
      
   When her phone did ring it was Jeffrey Spender on the line.   
      
   "We still need you, Dana."   
      
   Scully.   
      
   "The world isn't ending, but it's still in danger from time to time    
   from preternatural and inexplicable phenomemons."   
      
   Phenomena.   
      
   "Mulder has agreed to return."   
      
   Excuse me?   
      
   ---   
      
   She went for a drive several weeks later, after a brief meet-up with    
   Mulder. He'd confirmed everything, he was going back to the FBI and    
   he was getting the X-files back.  "I could use you on this, Scully."   
      
   Except, she couldn't.  His eyes were accusatory, but she stood    
   firm.  The old life wasn't the way.     
      
   She wasn't too surprised to find that they had so little to talk    
   about now, but she was disappointed.   
      
   She dared not believe she was crushed.   
      
   Her drive took her everywhere, and nowhere.  She came to a stop    
   at a church and laughed at her own predictability.   
      
   She said her Hail Marys and left, feeling no better or worse than    
   before, except from a slight incense-induced headache.   
      
   ---   
      
   Emily's grave was incredibly small, and Scully couldn't believe it    
   hadn't somehow grown over time.  Like Emily would have.     
      
   Like William was, somewhere.   
      
   But she didn't think about William if she didn't have to, and since    
   she'd given him up she'd rarely had to.  Her defense mechanisms were    
   nothing if not well-oiled and oft-practiced.   
      
   She'd come to California on a whim, after another dinner with Mulder    
   ended in hard feelings and bitter tears.  His life was going    
   somewhere, even if it was backwards.  Her life?  Was stuck in    
   neutral.   
      
   Emily's grave provided no answers, but it gave her a chance to    
   reflect.  She tried calling Kresge and was surprised to find him    
   still there.   
      
   "Scully FBI.  It's been ages."   
      
   They had dinner, and Scully let her hair down.  He commented on it,    
   being the first person to appreciate it since Mulder (her mother    
   thought it unmanageable).  She rewarded him with a smile and they    
   split a bottle of wine.     
      
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)