From: bellydancergirl7@aol.com   
      
   *** **   
      
   16 December 173   
      
   "You know, you didn't have to walk me to my rooms, Palidorus,"    
   Lucilla told the loyal man at her side.   
      
   "I couldn't let you be unescorted, princess," he let her    
   know. "During Saturnalia, men don't act the same as normal. It's an    
   excuse for them to do as they please."   
      
   "They do that despite Saturnalia," she reminded him. She kept her    
   gaze on him a moment longer. Something about him seemed    
   different. "He told you to follow me, didn't he?"   
      
   She could've given him a medal, he kept such a straight face. "Of    
   course he didn't. He does mention from time to time to see that    
   you're cared for properly, but he would never tell me to follow you."   
      
   She made a low humming noise and stepped closer to him. She kept her    
   eyes on him, looking for the slightest waiver.   
      
   "You're not very good at lying, are you, Palidorus?" she questioned    
   him.   
      
   His eyes fell to the floor. "No, your Highness."   
      
   With that, she turned on her heel and left. Palidorus was close    
   behind.   
      
   "Forgive me, your Highness; I was only doing as he told me."   
      
   She waved him off. "I forgive you, Palidorus. You're not the one I'm    
   angry with."   
      
   His eyes widened. "Oh, please don't be angry with him. He only wants    
   you to be safe. He doesn't want to see you harmed one day because you    
   were walking in dark corridors alone."   
      
   "I can take care of myself, Palidorus," she assured him, but she knew    
   it do no good. When he started again, she rolled her eyes and looked    
   to the heavens for help.   
      
   ** ***   
      
   He slipped quietly passed the guards in the hall. They wouldn't    
   acknowledge him anyway. All was dark with only a hint of orange and    
   yellow light t guide his way. More than once he had to silence his    
   sword at his side. When he found the door, he glanced around to make    
   sure no one was looking. Then he slipped in unnoticed.   
      
   "Did you get lost?"   
      
   His hand quickly found the small dagger he kept at his side before    
   realizing who it was.   
      
   "Something wrong, Maximus? Is there danger in the halls?"   
      
   Maximus let his hand fall to his side. "You shouldn't do that,    
   Lucilla. You could get hurt that way."   
      
   She raised an eyebrow. "Like I could get hurt in the halls?"   
      
   He stopped mid stride. "Don't hate me for wanting to look out for    
   you."   
      
   "Why do you assume I'm not safe? Do you know something I don't?"   
      
   He closed his eyes and counted slowly. "Lucilla," he pleaded.   
      
   She rolled her eyes. She stepped over to him and took hold of his    
   hand. "Teach me, then."   
      
   His eyes opened slowly to meet the cool blue of her gentle eyes    
   staring back at him.   
      
   "What?"   
      
   "You want me to be protected? Then teach me how to protect myself    
   properly."   
      
   He shook his head. "Lucilla…"   
      
   She dropped his hand. "Fine, but don't be surprised when you hear the    
   news I've been attacked outside my own rooms because I couldn't    
   defend myself," she said, hoping every word was making him feel more    
   guilty by the second. He caved before she could finish.   
      
   "All right, I'll teach you. But it might take a while."   
      
   ** ***   
      
   "Now, make sure you push upwards firmly with your palm, or else it    
   won't work," Maximus advised.   
      
   "And what if he's wearing a helmet?" Lucilla wondered, turning to    
   face him.   
      
   "Then you grab the dagger at your side," he slipped his fingers    
   around the dagger he had placed at her hip, "and plunge it into his    
   neck."   
      
   Her eyes moved back and forth from the dagger and him. "It sounds as    
   if you've done this before."   
      
   He shrugged and said, "Once or twice."   
      
   Maximus placed the dagger back into its sheath at her hip, allowing    
   his fingers to linger.   
      
   "That dagger belonged to my grandfather, so take good care of it."   
      
   "Why are you giving it to me then?"   
      
   "Because I trust you will take care of it and keep it safe. That way,    
   if something happens to me on the battlefield, I know this dagger    
   will still be passed on."   
      
   "I hate the sound of that, Maximus."   
      
   "It's the truth, Lucilla."   
      
   "Doesn't mean I have to like it," she muttered.   
      
   With her combat lesson over for the night, she moved over to her bed    
   and pulled the sheets down. Maximus played with the hairpins she had    
   on her dresser while she slipped beneath the sheets.   
      
   "I'll never understand why you have so many of these," he said over    
   his shoulder, holding one of the pins up for her to see.   
      
   "It's called vanity, Maximus. Not all of us live the soldier's life."   
      
   He left the pins alone and instead ventured over to her. He removed    
   his armor and weapons piece by piece and set them in a chair before    
   sitting on the bed next to her.   
      
   "But you don't need those things, Lucilla. You're always beautiful,    
   especially now. Now your hair is loose and your face is clean of make-   
   up. You're even more beautiful when you sleep. It becomes hard to    
   leave at night."   
      
   She stared at him before speaking. "You're already in my good graces,    
   Maximus."   
      
   He chuckled, not the reaction she was expecting. Then again, his    
   words only seconds ago weren't exactly him either.   
      
   "Why are telling me these things, Maximus?"   
      
   He shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know. Perhaps it's because of    
   Saturnalia. Perhaps it's because I just want to. Maybe I've been    
   keeping these words in for too long."   
      
   "Maybe you're just starting to scare me," she interrupted. "It still    
   isn't like you, Maximus. I'm beginning to think there's something    
   else you're trying to tell me."   
      
   He shook his head. "There's nothing else, Luci. It's simply a moment    
   of weakness, I suppose."   
      
   She sat up quickly. "Do you mean to tell me that Maximus the Merciful    
   is actually willing to share with me?" she asked him sarcastically.   
      
   "Don't be like that, Luci," he sighed. "What's wrong?"   
      
   She relaxed back into the mattress, pulling the sheets up the sheets    
   up to her chin. "Nothing. I'm just tired, I suppose. Your revelations    
   were too much for me to handle. Saturnalia changes you, Maximus."   
      
   "For the better, I hope."   
      
   She gave it thought before speaking. "Yes, for the better."   
      
   What she didn't know was that he had so many things to tell her. He    
   had so many emotions locked up inside of him that he never could find    
   the time to release. He supposed it was because of his life as a    
   soldier, or possibly his childhood. He found it hard to express at    
   times. He wanted to tell Lucilla how much he loved her, loved    
   spending time with her, loved being near her, but he didn't want to    
   scare her off. When the time was right, he would let her know.    
      
   Lucilla only prayed he wouldn't become bored of her or tired of her    
   antics. She knew she pushed him, sometimes further than necessary.    
   She wanted to know he really cared and didn't see her as some play    
   thing. If he could handle it, she'd make him jump leaps and bounds to    
   prove he loved her, that he could handle being with her. She became    
   moody at times, irritated. She tried hard not to feel that way but    
   sometimes her emotions got the best of her and she hated that.    
      
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
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    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)