From: colbysgurl@shaw.ca   
      
   Authors: Sassy and Jacquie   
      
   Category: MSR Romance   
      
   Summary: A post episode fic for "Pusher"   
      
   Rating: M   
      
   .....................   
      
   An hour later, Scully was opening her door.   
      
   "How do you keep this place so clean?"   
      
   "I'm a bit compulsive," Scully admitted a little sheepishly.   
      
   "A bit?" Mulder rubbed his arm where her quick slap had landed. "Okay, I'll   
   be nice."   
      
   Scully rolled her eyes at him, but as soon as her back was turned, she wiped   
   tears off her face.   
      
   Mulder touched her hip. "I get the couch."   
      
   "Huh?" Scully shook herself. "Okay."   
      
   Mulder was hoping she'd protest, but he wasn't going to rush her. "Got any   
   popcorn?"   
      
   And iced tea." Scully took a breath. "That couch isn't that comfortable you   
   know."   
      
   "I wouldn't dream of letting you on it."   
      
   "And I'm not letting you sleep on it either." She bit her lip, afraid she   
   had said too much. She busied herself with popping popcorn.   
      
   "Okay...I'll sleep with you."   
      
   Scully dropped the pan she had been holding. Mulder bent down to retrieve it   
   as she swore softly.   
      
   "Here you go," he said, giving her the pot. He rested the other hand on her   
   arm. "I didn't mean we had...we had...um..." His face turned red.   
      
   "I wouldn't have it any other way." Scully opened the fridge. "Iced tea?"   
      
   "Yes, please...or have you only got root beer?" Mulder teased.   
      
   Scully wordlessly passed back an iced tea bottle, shivering slightly as her   
   hand brushed against his. She bit her lips and ordered herself to stop being   
   a starry-eyed spass.   
      
   "Why don't you go sit down?"   
      
   "You don't need my help?"   
      
   "I'm good." Scully managed a smile. "I think there is a Knicks game on."   
   'One step forward, three steps back,' she thought.   
      
   "I won't bore you with basketball, Dana." He perched on her counter and   
   watched her.   
      
   "Who says I'm bored? I like basketball sometimes." Scully's hands deftly   
   mixed melted butter on the popcorn.   
      
   "Since when?" Mulder took a drink of iced tea.   
      
   "Medical school." Scully carried the popcorn bowl to the living room. "But   
   if you're sure you don't want to watch basketball, we can watch something   
   else. I'm easy...I mean, I'm fine with whatever." Her face went bright red.   
      
   Mulder ignored Scully's slip-up. "I hear there's a good movie on Lifetime."   
      
   Scully sighed to herself. She handed him the popcorn. "Just gonna get a   
   drink.   
      
   Mulder grabbed Scully's hand. "You're anything but easy."   
      
   Scully tried to smile and nod.   
      
   "What did I do?" Mulder asked, following her.   
      
   "Nothing. Why?"   
      
   "You're keeping something from me."   
      
   "I'm fine." Scully smiled more genuinely this time.   
      
   "Okay." Mulder touched her cheek.   
      
   "Want anything else while I'm up?"   
      
   "Just you."   
      
   "I'll be right there."   
      
   Mulder pulled her back against him and kissed her. He felt her shiver. He   
   could see what had been bothering her in her eyes.   
      
   "They meant nothing to me."   
      
   "Am I crazy?" Scully sighed. "Never mind. Don't answer that."   
      
   "You're not crazy." Mulder gently stroked her hair.   
      
   "Just think I'm falling in love with my partner," she finished more to   
   herself than to Mulder.   
      
   "Somewhere I've been since that first case in Oregon when you came to   
   me...trusted me."   
      
   "Mulder?"   
      
   "Scully."   
      
   "Instead of watching TV, did you want to just sit and talk?"   
      
   Sounds good...but maybe can we move to the bed?"   
      
   "Sure."   
      
   Mulder was still holding her. He could feel how hard her heart was pounding   
   before she gently moved away.   
      
   "Got any cards? We could play Go Fish" Mulder said as he grabbed the iced   
   teas.   
      
   "I'll go get them." Scully had a hard lump in her throat that didn't want to   
   go away.   
      
   Mulder was settled on her bed when she stepped through the door. "What side   
   is yours?"   
      
   "Whatever side you're not on," Scully grinned despite herself.   
      
   "Dana Scully..." Mulder grinned back. He stood up. "There...now...you pick   
   one and I take the other one. I am but a guest in this place."   
      
   Scully bit her lip and swallowed. "I guess near the window." She set down   
   the bowl of popcorn on the nightstand beside Mulder before walking over to   
   her closet and taking out her TV tray. Mulder was behind her the moment she   
   had her back to him. His hand rested on her hip.   
      
   "Have I done something to upset you?"   
      
   She glanced over her shoulder at him. "No. Why?"   
      
   Mulder shrugged. He placed a tender kiss to her shoulder. "You just   
   seem...distant."   
      
   Scully caught his hand as he turned to walk back to the bed. She put her   
   arms around him, burying her face against his chest.   
      
   "I wanted to wipe that tear away...I wanted to wipe it away," Mulder said as   
   tears silently fell into her hair.   
      
   "I was so scared..." Scully whispered.   
      
   "I know," Mulder said softly. "I know."   
      
   "I can't do it. I can't be strong anymore..." Scully started to sob.   
      
   Mulder held her shaking form against him. He stroked her hair. "Let it all   
   out, baby. I'm never going to hurt you again." He added faintly, "I   
   promise."   
      
   Scully clung to him tightly.   
      
   Mulder tilted her chin. "I love you, Dana. I love you so much."   
      
   "I love you too," Scully whispered. She swallowed. "I know. I know I hide."   
      
   "Moving out of the darkness is easier when you have someone...someone who   
   knows you...deep down...the way we know each other...so let's move out of   
   the darkness together."   
      
   "I think that's what scares me," Scully admitted. "That you know me, I   
   mean."   
      
   "Heart and soul" Mulder kissed her forehead.   
      
   Scully sighed softly as she closed her eyes. She leaned her head against   
   him. "I don't want to disappoint you. I know I'm not your usual type."   
      
   Mulder flinched at her words...at the tone.   
      
   Scully sighed "But that's silly, isn't it?"   
      
   "They meant nothing."   
      
   "I know. It's me."   
      
   Mulder pulled her to the bed and sat her down. Kneeling in front of her, he   
   said softly, "I wanted you...all the time I wanted you."   
      
   Scully's eyes closed again. He touched her face. She made herself open her   
   eyes and met Mulder's emotional-filled hazel eyes.   
      
   "I know" Scully smiled back at him. She kissed his lips gently. "I promise.   
   No more hiding things from you. I want to be honest with you."   
      
   "You've been lying to me?"   
      
   It was Scully's turn to wince. "Not really lying...just not saying   
   everything." 'Which is the same thing as lying.'   
   "Don't blame you for being angry with me."   
      
   "I'm not your mother. You don't have to tell me anything," Mulder said,   
   sitting on the bed beside her. "I just thought...that you were happy. I   
   guess I should really let you get out of the X-Files all together."   
      
   'Damn! I'm not explaining myself very well!' Scully thought. Then aloud,   
   "Mulder I want to be with you."   
      
   Mulder took Scully's hand in his. "Just promise me that if you ever want to   
   get out...you'll tell me"   
      
   I don't want out. I don't want to be away from you. I just..." Scully took a   
   deep breath. "I was just always afraid you would find out that I'm not as   
   strong as I always say I am..."   
      
   Mulder smiled without looking at her. "And you think I didn't know that?"   
      
   "I know that now."   
      
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)