From: ssteiner@sbcglobal.net   
      
   I went to visit Will every week, and my visits alone were more personal, and   
   tension free.  We played endless games of chess and checkers, and talked of   
   inconsequential things like movies and music.  He'd mentioned an old movie   
   he wanted to see, and I found the DVD for him, so we spent a couple of   
   visits watching it together.  His fascination for the alien abduction theory   
   (perhaps not so theoretical in his case) had only grown since Mulder had   
   laid it all out for him.   
      
   Dana and Mulder went to see him as well, sometimes separately, sometimes   
   together, and once I was left in the unusual position of being their   
   babysitter. It never failed to astound and impress me that these two people,   
   who had every right to want to see me pushing up daisies, could put the past   
   behind them and see the man I am now.  Who that man is, I still have a   
   difficult time even explaining to myself.  Was I still a man of action, who   
   could ignore conventional wisdom in my own vendetta for the truth, as I   
   perceived it?  I was beginning to recognize parts of that old me in my   
   critical thinking; I could see every point of view in an argument, while not   
   subscribing to any.  I had been such a simple man for so long, nothing more   
   important than figuring out if I should read that book, or go out on the   
   boat.  Now, I was inextricably caught up in a plot that involved the alien   
   invasion of the planet, a twelve-year-old boy who was either the Second   
   Coming or an alien collaborator, and the efforts of his parents to stave off   
   the arrival of the would-be conquerors.   
      
   By Thanksgiving, Will seemed to have assimilated well enough that Mrs.   
   Matthews got permission from the court to allow him out on a 24 hour pass. I   
   suspect that Mulder pulled some more strings-what good is it being a former   
   Federal agent if you can't?  I think Mrs. Matthews gratefully attributes   
   Will's evening temperament to our visits, I think it was Mulder laying   
   everything out on the line for him.   
      
   Only a month left to go.   
      
      
      
   Wednesday night, I went with Mulder to pick Will up from the Center, and   
   bring him back to the house.  He was on his best behavior, polite and even a   
   little charming.   
      
   He most definitely made up with Julie.  I know she was scared to have him   
   visit, considering her last experience with him.  She was looking to us for   
   her cues, and she took them well, but she was still wary of him.  They ended   
   up watching MTV in the living room, while they played board games, eating   
   popcorn and drinking sodas.  There was a giant truce being hammered out   
   there, just like the settlers and Indians-they even played Candy Land and   
   Mousetrap with Scotty.   
      
   I spent the evening divided between watching Mulder and Dana in the kitchen   
   making pies for dinner the next day, and watching the kids and MTV, having   
   little snatches of conversation in both places.  Eventually the baking was   
   done, and the quiet pleasant evening was over.   
      
   Thanksgiving Day was mostly more of the same, the kids added the backyard to   
   their schedule as Mulder had to say no to bike riding in the neighborhood.   
   Dinner was good, and the conversation interesting, not touching on any   
   sensitive topics.  Dana showered Will with good-natured affection, as much   
   as she gave Julie and Scott.  Will soaked it up, and for a while, it was a   
   family finally completed.  Mulder reigned over it all with his usual sense   
   of humor and kept the kids laughing.   
      
   Nor was I ignored in these affections.  I had by now spent quite a few   
   evenings at their home, having dinner, drinks on the patio or playing with   
   the kids.  I had become an expected part of their daily routine, and I   
   treated that trust with grave responsibility. I believe they understood that   
   I was not who I had been, and I tried to live up to those expectations with   
   some success.  It's an overused phrase, and it grates on my nerves to hear   
   it casually bandied about, but I think 'blessed' is the only word for it.   
   Only those who had been condemned to damnation could truly appreciate the   
   meaning of that word.   
      
   After dinner and clean-up, we had some time before Will was due back at the   
   center, he was expected back at 6:00pm. Will uncharacteristically sat at the   
   kitchen table with the adults while Julie went with Scott to play next door.   
      
   He opened the conversation with, "have you ever heard of a place called   
   Lethbridge?"   
      
   Dana was the only one who recognized the significance of the name.  "It's   
   the place you were taken by the kidnappers-that was the final reason I   
   decided to."   
      
   Will just nodded; he wasn't upset or distraught by what she'd said. "Why   
   there?"   
      
   She took a sip of coffee as she considered her reply. "There was a downed   
   alien ship buried there.  It was uncovered by a cult, and they took you   
   because they believed you were going be the leader of the Aliens when they   
   came. I don't think they were expecting what happened. The ship.responded to   
   you, and it ended up killing the entire cult before it took off.  You weren'   
   t harmed, even though there had been two attempts to kill you."   
      
   "Okay, now that makes sense. I've been having dreams like that, and I think   
   that's where I'm supposed to go, when.  You know."  He trailed off, looking   
   at each of us.   
      
   Mulder had that nearly rabid look of excitement on his face. "What will   
   happen if you don't go?"   
      
   "I have a feeling that I'm going, regardless of what I have to say in the   
   matter. The Other seems to have his mind made up.  We're going."   
      
   "I think we have to respect that, maybe we can find a way to keep some   
   control over the situation."  Even as I said it, I knew it was crazy-how can   
   you expect to control a situation where you had no idea what was going to   
   happen?  But Mulder seemed to agree with me.   
      
   "We might, and at the very least we'd get to see the end of the world."   
      
   "Mulder, that's so-how can you think that?"  And there it is, the essence of   
   the unseen dichotomy between these two: Dana, pillar of faith, and Mulder,   
   the pessimistic believer.  He shrugged, and gave her a boyish grin.   
      
   "Just a little humor."   
      
   We all accepted his comment at face value, but knew that he'd spoken the   
   truth. Milder changed the subject and announced it was time to take Will   
   back to the Center.   
      
   I stayed with Scully in the kitchen with brandy and coffee to wait for   
   Mulder to return, and avoided discussing Will's little bomb until we were   
   all together.  Our relationship was now a complete polar opposite of our   
   past, and I could even get her to giggle at a bad joke.  I regaled her with   
   stories from my stay at the VA hospital, and she told me about the latest   
   antics at the county morgue. Someone had inexplicably stashed some burned   
   body parts in the lunchroom fridge, and that day had been one long 'extra   
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
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    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)