From: dana_scully_mulders_protege@hotmail.com   
      
   See Chapter One for summary etc.   
      
      
      
      
   Chapter Three   
      
      
   I close my eyes once again. Still not believing I'm about to see   
   Scully. The person who has never left my mind since I left. Is it   
   true? Have I someone blocked her from me with this previous negative   
   thoughts? I then hear Melissa's voice again.   
      
   "Now, I need you to take deep breaths in through your nose. With   
   each breath you become more relaxed. I want you to tighten and   
   loosen all of the muscles in your body from your head to your toes   
   one at a time. Making your whole body entirely relaxed with   
   absolutely no tension. " She pauses allowing me to release the   
   tension in my body. "Now, I want you imagine a garbage can.  I want   
   you to clear your mind of all other thoughts and place them in that   
   garbage can. Now that garbage can is gone and your mind is clear.   
   Now imagine a black sky. Just a black sky with no stars. See   
   yourself floating up toward that sky. Now, I want you to go to a   
   field. A field where nothing can bother or harm you. All you feel is   
   peace everywhere. How it looks is up to you. Picture the way you   
   would wish it to be. She's waiting for you there, Mulder. Call out   
   to her."   
      
   I've done everything that Melissa has instructed me to and now I   
   find myself standing in that field. There is tall grass all around   
   me and a forest in the background. The sound of running water can be   
   heard in the background somewhere. It is truly the most beautiful   
   place I have ever been to.  Turning my head to the right I see a   
   silhouette. I can feel my heart beating rapidly as I anticipate it   
   getting closer.  It's then that the sun reflects off its face. And I   
   instantly recognize it. "Oh my god….Scully?" I breathe. I continue   
   to stand there completely transfixed at what I am seeing before me.   
      
   "Hello, Mulder." Scully answers back with a smile. She is the most   
   beautiful thing I have ever seen. She's dressed in a white summer   
   dress with a bodice at the top. She literally looks like an angel to   
   me. The only thing missing from her are the wings on her back. A   
   radiance seems to surround her as she slowly approaches me.   
      
   I continue to stand there and stare at her unable to move. Is this a   
   dream? Is this real? I then quickly dismiss this negative thoughts   
   remembering what Melissa told me earlier. I am completely entranced   
   by this beautiful, gracious swan approaching me. It's almost as if   
   she has me under a spell. There are so many things I want to say but   
   I find I have no voice. The wind lifts up her gorgeous red hair,   
   which spills across her shoulders.   
      
   She steps up to me and stops saying nothing for a moment. Raising   
   her hand and reaching forward, she connects it to mine. As soon as   
   our hands come together a bright white light emanates from us. A   
   feeling courses through the both of us and is unlike anything I have   
   ever known. She tilts her head up to me and smiles. "I've missed   
   you."   
      
   I feel myself trembling as I stare back at her. Oh god how I've   
   wished for this!  "I've missed you so much." I answer back. I then   
   lean my head slowly down to hers and tilting my head place a tender   
   kiss on her rosy lips. A light once again surrounds us as she   
   returns my kiss and I place my arms around her. It almost feels as   
   if a rope has connected us or something. The feeling within me is   
   incredible. As strange as it is, I can smell that faint odor of   
   honeysuckle coming from her hair. I can touch it with my hands.  I   
   then pull back from our kiss slowly. "Scully, I.."   
      
   "Sssh." She replies placing a finger on my lips.  "Don't say   
   anything. Not yet." She takes my hand in hers. "Walk with me,   
   Mulder."   
      
   I follow her as she leads us through the field and down a path.  I   
   can hear birds chirping around us as we make our way over to a grove   
   of trees. As we come through the trees I then see the source of the   
   water I had heard in the background, a tiny stream. The water can be   
   seen pouring over the rocks and pebbles in the stream. I take a seat   
   next to her as she finally settles down on a bank.  At this point I   
   don't know what to do or say. I'm just afraid that I may do   
   something and then she will suddenly leave.   
      
   "I'm not going anywhere, Mulder." She answers looking at me.   
      
   I stare back at her with a confused look. "Scully, how did you…"   
      
   "I can pick up on things from you, Mulder. We've reconnected again,   
   you and I."   
      
   "Reconnected?"   
      
   She nods. "You closed yourself off from me with all of those   
   feelings you had. Now that you've freed yourself of them, I was able   
   to come to you and reconnect again."   
      
   "I….I don't understand."   
      
   She droops her head." After you left, I was so distraught, Mulder. I   
   felt like my entire world had come crashing down. I felt lost,   
   hopeless. I clung onto that email you sent me as if it were my whole   
   life." She pauses. "And I just kept…secretly hoping that I could see   
   you again. That I could see your face and touch it. That I   
   could….have you hold me in your arms…"   
      
   I realize the feelings she is describing are exactly the ones I have   
   been feeling myself.  "Go on." I whisper.   
      
   "It consumed me. And then one night Melissa appeared to me. She told   
   me that I could see you through astral projection. Of course at   
   first I thought it sounded crazy but I was so desperate to see you   
   that I was willing to try anything.  So she lead me through the   
   steps and I went to try and find you….but I couldn't. It was like I   
   was hitting some kind of force field or something. I could see you   
   but I couldn't get to you. I had to just stand there and watch you   
   sitting on the floor consumed by sadness.  It…it tore me apart   
   because there was nothing that I could do. I've been….in this field   
   for weeks, Mulder. Wandering around here aimlessly. Secretly praying   
   that you would break through your misery so that you could join me   
   here. I…I wanted that so much."   
      
   I take my hand and place it under her chin, raising it to me. "But   
   I'm here now, Scully.  And I'm never going to push you away again. I   
   just wish I had known I was doing it sooner. Had I known that you   
   were just inches away from me, I….never would have had those   
   terrible feelings." I look deep into her eyes. "You and William are   
   all I have thought about ever since I left. I questioned so many   
   things, Scully. Whether this quest of mine was senseless. Was it   
   more important than you? If I was responsible for everyone that had   
   died including your sister because of me."   
      
   "No, Mulder."   
      
   "I know that now. Melissa came here tonight to show that. She showed   
   me so much, Scully.  She showed me that I am not the loser I thought   
   I was. That I never forced you to follow me. That I didn't abandon   
   you and William. Oh god I'm so grateful she came to me." I take her   
   hand and squeeze it. "She's saved me."   
      
   "Saved you?"   
      
   I nod. "There are so many things I wanted to tell you Scully. I've   
   wanted to tell you so many times in the past but I was afraid. I   
   figured there would always be time later. And I thought you would   
   just laugh at me as has happened in my past before. But I'm not   
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)