From: shawntaw@hotmail.com   
      
   Title: Typing   
   Author: shawntaw   
   Spoiler: Born Again, Season One   
   Rating: R for two curse words I normally NEVER use and a sexual   
   situation, so kiddos SHOO!   
   Disclaimer: I don't know nuthin' about infringin' on no rights!   
   Note: Written for the Fandomonium Season of Smut (Season One)   
   Challenge, Episode: Born Again.   
      
   For other notes, see end of story.   
      
   Exclamation: Oh my! I wrote smut! My mother will be so proud!(I'm   
   serious!*L*) Feedback at shawntaw@hotmail.com.   
      
      
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   Mulder was able to hold it together long enough to thank the shrink   
   and exit the office.  He strode down the hallway and out to his car in   
   a daze.   
      
   Thorazine. They gave the little girl Thorazine.   
      
   His hand shook as he tried to unlock his car door.  He weakly got in,   
   sat in the driver's seat and leaned over the steering wheel.  Mulder   
   concentrated on regulating his breathing.   
      
   He squeezed his eyes shut as he tried desperately NOT to remember.  He   
   hadn't even acknowledged it in years. A cold sweat broke out on his   
   upper lip and he swallowed his nausea.   
      
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   When his parents found him, he was screaming.  His eyes stared at   
   nothing and yet the expression on his face was of supreme horror.  The   
   EMTs arrived and tried to tend to him, but he wouldn't let anyone   
   touch him.  He punched, bit, kicked and fought so fiercely that he had   
   to be sedated. His father's gun was found on the floor beside him,   
   fully loaded.  One of the policemen on the scene commented that it was   
   lucky that the boy didn't think to fire it at any of them.   
      
   The last thing he heard was his mother sobbing his sister's name.   
      
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   Mulder shook his head, refusing to be sucked into that moment again -   
   the moment he could only piece together by other's accounts and his   
   own very sketchy memory.  Even the regression hypnosis had not been   
   able to bring back all the details of the aftermath of Samantha's   
   abduction.  As much as he strove for the truth in all things this both   
   bothered him and made sense to him.   
      
   He went through the rest of the day on automatic, making his report to   
   Scully and using his years of practice to hide his distress.  He had   
   learned long ago that noone really cared and he certainly hadn't known   
   his partner long enough to burden her with his bizarre and tragic   
   childhood in all its twisted glory.  She knew enough.  She knew about   
   Samantha.   
      
   Mulder did what he did best to get his mind off his screwed up life.   
      
   He solved the case.   
      
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   *********************************   
      
   Later she would look back on this incident as important.  Years later   
   when she looked back on watershed moments in their relationship, she   
   would realize that this was when she learned something about Mulder   
   that he trusted very few people to know and not use against him.   
      
   It was the first time she was a witness to the nightmares that plagued   
   him.   
      
   Scully sat up in the darkness of her hotel room, unsure of what had   
   awoken her.  She had a prickly, afraid feeling in her chest and a   
   surge of adrenaline caused her heart to pound.  Trusting her   
   instincts, she slipped her hand to the nightstand and found her   
   weapon.  She sat and listened again for whatever had caused her to go   
   from sleeping soundly to full alert so abruptly.   
      
   There is was again....a whimper..a cry?..from her partner's room.  She   
   remembered how angry he seemed when the manager had given them   
   connecting rooms.  The muscle in his jaw had twitched and she could   
   tell his teeth were clenched as the man behind the desk told him there   
   were no other rooms available.  In the past, they'd never had rooms   
   next to one another.  Scully had wondered at the time why it was an   
   issue at all...   
      
   She stealthily pushed back her covers, arose and padded barefoot in   
   her pajamas toward the connecting door. Her gun was aloft and ready in   
   her sweaty hands.   
      
   Scully only hoped the damn door wasn't locked.  She reached out as she   
   got close and turned the knob.  Locked.   
      
   She gritted her teeth in frustration. Was it worth breaking the door?   
    If he was just having a nightmare, shouldn't she just knock?   
      
   The soft whimpering from the other side of the door suddenly became a   
   shriek and the decision was made for her.  Convinced her relatively   
   new partner was being attacked, she prayed that the door was old,   
   stepped back and gave it a good, firm kick.   
      
   It creaked but held.  Mulder's screaming reached fever pitch as Scully   
   shouted through the door, "F.B.I.!!" and struck again.  The door jam   
   split and the door opened, banging and bouncing from the wall on the   
   other side.  Scully ran in, leading with her weapon and ready to fight   
   - only to find the room empty and filled only with the sounds of harsh   
   breathing.   
      
   She blinked, confused.  "Mulder?" she said softly into the dim room.   
   The television played pay-per-view porn, but she barely took notice of   
   it as she scanned the room and tried to calm herself.   
      
   The bed had obviously been slept in.  In fact the blankets and sheets   
   were disheveled and twisted and the pillows were askew. Scully turned   
   to go check in the bathroom when she heard a hiccup.  She spun around,   
   aiming her weapon, only to be greeted with nothing.   
      
   Thinking for a moment, Scully stood still.  Sure enough, another small   
   hiccup sounded, and now that she'd calmed her own breathing, she could   
   hear hitching sobs coming from the same direction.   
      
   Scully knelt down and peered under the bed.  As she suspected, there   
   was Mulder.   
      
   He lay pressed between the floor and the bed.  His head was turned   
   sideways, his hands on either side. His eyes were blinking slowly; his   
   face was tear-streaked.  Mulder looked confused and panicked.   
      
   "Hi," Scully said gently, not knowing what else to say.  She   
   hesitantly held out her hand, "Want some help out of there, Mulder?"   
      
   He looked at her for a moment and then started scooting himself out   
   from under the bed.  Scully moved back as he freed himself from the   
   tight quarters and stood.   
      
   He wore grey boxer-briefs and his hair spiked up in all directions as   
   he ran his fingers through it.   
   Mulder hiccupped again and reached up to wipe his nose with the back   
   of his hand.  He still had a fuzzy look in his eyes.   
      
   Scully frowned with concern and set her weapon on his nightstand.   
      
   "Here, sit here," Gently clasping his shoulders, she directed him to   
   the edge of the bed, "I'll be right back, o.k.?"   
      
   She didn't know what worried her more - the fact that he sat   
   obediently or the fact that he hadn't said a word.  Scully hurried to   
   the small bathroom and flicked on the light.  She left the door open   
   so she could see him and her hands shook as she hastily wet a   
   washcloth. Scully rushed back to him as fast as she could.   
      
   He sat staring at her blankly, his hiccups subsiding.  She tipped his   
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)