From: adjonas2000@yahoo.com   
      
   My Immortal Part 2   
      
   By: Amy Jonas   
      
   Feedback appreciated at adjonas2000@yahoo.com   
      
   Category:  Jimmy and Yves. Angst   
      
   Rating: PG   
      
   Disclaimer:  Not mine   
      
   Archieve: See. Want. Take.  Just let me know	   
      
   Summary:  Sometimes people take different paths.  Yves' POV   
      
   A/N:  This story was borne of a discussion (My apologies to Laura   
   who listened ever so patiently) between Ginny and I who had very   
   different views of Jimmy and Yves.   
      
      
      
      
      
   Ralph Waldo Emerson once wrote `Thou art to me a delicious   
   torment'.   That was what Jimmy was to me.  The antithesis of   
   everything I was used to and expected in people; Jimmy is the one   
   person I completely trusted in this world.  I told him about my   
   past; and he accepted it; accepted me.  I loved him like I never   
   thought I could love another.  And he loved me; completely and   
   unconditionally.  We were happy.   
      
   Or so I allowed myself to believe.   
      
   I have never encountered a more gentle, caring soul.  There isn't a   
   selfish bone in his body.  Jimmy's work on the paper is motivated   
   only by a desire to help other people no matter how it impacts him   
   financially or emotionally.  My actions, rooted in a need for   
   redemption for my father's sins or because it furthers that agenda,   
   would never be magnanimous.   Eventually I was forced to accept a   
   fundamental truth.  Jimmy Bond was too good for me.  Despite that, I   
   think we could have stayed together.   
      
   But Jimmy grew up; matured both emotionally and intellectually.  I   
   wanted this for my sake as well as his.  While I found his innocence   
   fresh; in what we do caution and a certain amount of cynicism is   
   needed to unearth the truth and stay alive.  I realized that as he   
   matured, he would no longer view the world – or people – the same   
   way.  He would learn the same truth that I discovered.  I have never   
   been afraid of anything but the thought of him looking at me   
   differently scared me.   
      
   Our wants are similar.  Marriage.  Children.  A life together.  But   
   my father is still out there destroying lives.  I have work to do   
   and cannot remain in one place too long.  Knowing Jimmy as I do, he   
   would give up his dream of a family to be with me.  As tempted as I   
   was, that arrangement wouldn't have been fair to him.  After five   
   years, I did the one thing that didn't benefit me.  I ended our   
   relationship.   
      
   Seeing him after that hurt more than I thought it could.  I wanted   
   him to be happy; to have his family but the knowledge of him being   
   with other women was like a dull knife twisting in my heart.   I   
   buried myself in my work trying to forget how much he meant to me.   
   Then I would help the Gunmen and Jimmy would be there; in all his   
   loveliness; a delicious torment of what I had lost.   
      
   The other day I brought over a disk the boys would find useful.   
   Upon arriving, I discovered Jimmy alone.  For the first time words   
   failed me and we stared at each other.  All my feelings clamored   
   inside me.  I wanted to touch him.  I wanted to see his goofy   
   lopsided smile I love so much.  I wanted us to talk like we used   
   to.  I wanted to hear him laugh.  I wanted him to hold me again.  I   
   wanted to tell him I still love him.   
      
   My pain was mirrored in his eyes.  I broke eye contact, dropped the   
   disk next to a computer and left.  The door slammed behind me; a   
   flat, hollow sound.  I climbed into my car, pausing a moment to look   
   back.  Starting the engine I thought how true Emerson's words were.   
      
      
      
      
      
      
      
      
      
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