From: char@chaffin.com   
      
   ... AND WE DANCED...   
   by Char Chaffin   
   MSR, Vignette, PG   
   Spoilers:  "Post-Modern Prometheus", "Millennium", "Nothing   
   Important Happened Today"   
      
   Dedication:  To my XF2004 friends, who still believe and whom I know   
   always will   
      
   Additional Notes at end   
      
      
   "And We Danced..."   
      
      
      
   1997   
      
   I extended my hand to her, a little shy and a lot uncertain.  I hid   
   it under the guise of a bad Elvis imitation, all attitude and curled   
   upper lip.  I looked at her through my lashes, preferring to hide,   
   giving myself a chance to retain composure should she refuse.  I'm   
   sure I appeared confident and assured, but inside I was quaking.   
      
   I just wanted to hold her.  Just that, nothing more.  It had been a   
   hell of a year so far, and I needed that careful contact with her,   
   craved it.  I suppose I would have used any excuse to have her, small   
   and vital in my arms; God knows in our pasts I'd found all manner of   
   reasons to get my hands on her.   
      
   For once I needed the reason to be anything other than protection,   
   comfort or concern.  Not friendship.  Not partnership.   
      
   Just her.  Just me.  Just something more than what already stood   
   between us...   
      
   I extended my hand during a surreal moment in our equally-surreal   
   professional and personal lives, cloaking my need in the cheering of   
   hundreds of adoring fans, hiding it within the excitement of a crowd   
   who also wanted to be with someone they cared about.   
      
   The look on her face was so adorable.  Startled.  Confused.  And   
   shy, just as I was.  But she reached out and took my hand; let   
   herself be pulled into my arms.  Right up against me, the top of her   
   head just brushing my chin, her fingers clasped firmly in mine.  I'll   
   bet if she'd tried tucking her face into my neck it would have been a   
   perfect fit.  I wanted her to do just that... but I didn't push it.   
      
   She was in my arms and I was holding her close and for once in our   
   five years together it was for some other reason.  For once it was   
   because we just wanted to be that close.   
      
   She looked up just as I was looking down; I saw the flash of her   
   smile and the glint of enjoyment in her eyes.  Everything inside me   
   softened and melted when I saw that smile of hers.  At that moment I   
   decided I could die a happy man, because I had the woman I loved in   
   my arms and if it took me forever I was going to figure a way to keep   
   her there for the rest of my life.  And as soon as I thought the word   
   'love', I realized it was true; had never been more true.   
      
   Love.  For her.  For my partner.   
      
   It made perfect sense.  Of course it had to be love, otherwise I'd   
   have been completely content to hold her hand in nothing more than   
   friendship; embrace her for no other reason than camaraderie.  But I   
   wanted more... had always wanted more.   
      
   Suddenly the world seemed full of endless possibilities, based on   
   the strength of nothing more than a moment in time.  I pulled her   
   tighter; she came willingly.  We locked eyes again and this time the   
   smile was in them as well as on her lips.  Music swirled around us   
   and we were moving too slow to keep up, but I doubted the singer   
   cared overmuch... she was too busy assuring that a dedicated fan was   
   thoroughly enjoying himself.  We both glanced his way momentarily; we   
   both grinned at the sight of this hulking oddity of humanity,   
   misshapen paws linked with smaller, long-fingered, slender hands.   
   He was singing along with his idol and in that moment I decided I   
   really liked Cher's music.  Well, some of it.   
      
   Then I looked down at Scully and our eyes met again; the   
   understanding between us was total and clear as glass.  The strains   
   of "Walking in Memphis" ebbed and flowed around us...   
      
   And we danced.   
      
   ***************************   
      
   2000   
      
   The night was just cool enough, the air just crisp enough to make my   
   arm ache like a bad tooth.  What painkillers I'd been given in the ER   
   had worn off already and I was beginning to hurt, big-time.   
      
   But it was New Years Day, barely five minutes old... and I'd finally   
   had a chance to kiss someone I loved, as the glittering ball dropped   
   on Times Square and the new year rang itself in.   
      
   It didn't last very long.  It wasn't closed-lipped but neither was   
   it a full-blown Frenchie.  And it wasn't friendship, not quite.   
   Wasn't lover-like either... I suppose what it could best have been   
   compared to was a combination of where we were at that moment in our   
   lives, and perhaps a touch of where we wanted to be.  Well, at least   
   where I wanted us to be.   
      
   It was sweet and it was warm and it was better than I'd hoped - and   
   a preview of what I also hoped would be more forthcoming in the   
   future.  Of course I made a stupid remark, when it was over.  Of   
   course she saw through it, and responded in kind.  But I put my good   
   arm around her as we walked out the door, and she leaned in close to   
   me.   
      
   It was the best New Years Eve I'd had, in many a year.  When I   
   murmured that thought to her, she glanced sideways at me, surprised.   
      
   "Seriously, Mulder?  This is your idea of a best New Years Eve?   
   Almost becoming zombie-chow, your arm in a sling?  That's hard to   
   believe."   
      
   I attempted to explain as we stepped further outside and the crisp   
   night air helped to clear my head a bit.  "Scully, most of my New   
   Year celebrations were nothing more than watching TV with the lights   
   out.  Truthfully I can't recall a single eve that I went out with   
   anyone, be it a date or just with some buddies.  I suppose I had   
   opportunities to find a girl to take to some fancy party but I never   
   did.  I wasn't exactly Mr. Swinger, you know."   
      
   When she rested her head on my shoulder, it felt exactly right, and   
   her words went a long way toward making me feel less like a loser.   
   "Well, Mulder... I wasn't exactly Ms. Swinger, either.  I spent   
   plenty of New Years Eves alone.  So I suppose in a way this could be   
   considered one of the best New Years I've had in a long time, zombie   
   bait and all."   
      
   We'd reached the car and I released her long enough to fumble in my   
   pocket for the key, remembering belatedly that I certainly couldn't   
   drive it.  Sheepishly I handed the keys over, Scully started the   
   engine... and immediately the strains of some slow bluesy torch song   
   came over the radio.  She looked up; I was still standing by the   
   driver's side door and that music froze me in place.   
      
   The song was familiar and yet I couldn't quite place it; I only knew   
   that it was considered a classic, and probably a tune that got its   
   share of New Years party action.  Suddenly I found myself holding out   
   my good hand to her, with what I am now sure had to be a goofy smile   
   on my face.  The music was dreamy and soft, and I was recalling   
   another time not so long ago when a hand extended towards Dana Scully   
   got me an armful of warm, smiling woman.   
      
   Of course, I had to see if it would happen again.   
      
   Her eyes smiled at me first, this time.  She tilted her head to the   
   side, just a little bit, as if to gauge the seriousness of the   
   moment.  Did I really want to dance when my arm was aching and in a   
   sling?  When my heart was still pounding a bit from the ordeal I'd   
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)