From: susanf34@comcast.net
*NO ARCHIVE*
Title: Greetings from Planet Mulder
Author: Susan
E-mail: susanf34@comcast.net
Classification: vignette
Rating: G for goofiness
Keyword: humor
Spoiler: takes place when Scully is out at night
looking for Mulder in the desert in Without
Archive: No archive without permission.
Disclaimer: These characters were put in this story
for my own amusement and had no choice in the matter.
Author's notes: Don't ask me how I came up with such
silliness or why I chose to actually write it down.
Just read it, shake your head at the absurdity of it,
and say, "What the hell was she thinking when she
wrote this?" Then put your fingers on the keyboard
and send me an e-mail telling me you smiled at least
once while you were reading it. It's that simple.
More author's notes at the end.
Summary: "So, your abduction was worthwhile then?"
************************************************************
Greetings from Planet Mulder
by Susan
~~~~
Scully shielded her eyes from the bright lights on
the bottom of the spacecraft. It was right above
her now, and if she didn't know better, she'd be
afraid.
She'd also be skeptical of what she was seeing
like she'd been every other time.
But she wasn't afraid, and she wasn't skeptical.
No, this time she was excited.
And this time she knew exactly why it was here.
Who else but Mulder would know that she was out
here waiting for him in the middle of the Arizona
desert?
And who else but Mulder could convince a bunch of
renegade aliens to fly to this exact spot?
Taking a few steps backwards so that it had room
to land, she anxiously watched as the ship smoothly
landed right in front of her.
In just a few more seconds, she would see the man
she'd been missing terribly for the past three days.
And a few more seconds after that, she'd tell him
about their baby.
Straightening up her shirt and running her palm
over her perfectly coiffed hair, she leaned forward
in anticipation.
"Hey Scully, what do you think? Is she a beauty or
what?" asked Mulder, his long, lean, half-naked
body standing at the top of the stairs to the
doorway of the craft. "I flew her here all by
myself," he said, tapping his hand on the outside
of the ship.
"Pretty impressive, Mulder, but why the loincloth?
I thought it was really cold where you were," she
said, wondering if it was proper for her to go up
the steps and greet him or if she should wait for
him to come down.
Bounding down the stairs, he rushed over to her
and threw his muscular arms around her. "It was,
but I'm feeling pretty warm right now," he remarked
as he pulled her into an even tighter hug with those
same muscular arms. "God, I missed you, Scully."
"I missed you too."
"I have so much to tell you, but first, you've
got to come on board with me. You're not going
to believe what I've done with the place. All
new high tech computers in the control room as
well as new leather seats," he said excitedly
as they broke apart.
She smiled. "Sounds classy."
"Oh, it is. The guys had never even heard of leather
before, but once I showed it to Them, They started
changing the interiors of all their spacecrafts.
And the sunflower seed thing...don't even get me
started on that."
"The sunflower seed thing?" she asked, a puzzled
expression on her face.
"Yeah, They like them now. Hell, They even eat
them for breakfast, and I don't even do that."
"So, your abduction was worthwhile then?"
"Absolutely! I can't begin to tell you how much
They taught me and how much I taught Them. Me
and the aliens...we're like this now," he said,
crossing two of his fingers to show just how close
they were. "Although I could've done without this
long scar They gave me," he added, running his
finger down the middle of his chest.
"It is kind of long, but I'm sure it won't take
long to fade, and neither will these marks on your
face," she commented as she turned his head from
side to side so she could examine his cheeks. "I'm
glad to hear you're getting along with Them so well
though because I've got some news that's going to
change everything for us...and Them."
"What is it, Scully? You're not going to tell me
that you're really part-alien, are you?"
"No, I'm going to tell you that I'm pregnant."
"Pregnant? No way."
"Way."
"Really?"
"I just said I was, didn't I?"
"Yeah, but correct me if I'm wrong here, but I
thought you were experimented on and left barren."
"Welcome to the wonderful world of getting pregnant
the natural way, Mulder."
"You mean..."
"Yes."
"But when?"
"Sometime before we went to Oregon. I'm thinking
it was probably Caddyshack night...or maybe it was
Steel Magnolias night. If you recall, we didn't
finish watching either movie."
"No, we didn't. So, how do you feel?"
"Better than I did a couple days ago, and now that
you're back, you can hold my hair off my face when
I get morning sickness so I won't have to do it
myself. It was getting to be a real drag."
"I'll hold any part of you that you want, Scully,"
he said, pressing both his lips and his hips against
hers and then his tongue was in her mouth and her
hand was in his loincloth and....
"Hey, are you two going to go at it like that all
night? We've got three more stops to make before
midnight," called out the Bounty Hunter from the
top of the stairs.
"Hey, BH, my woman here tells me we're having a
baby," he called out proudly as he put his hand
on her belly.
"That's great, man, but we need to get a move on
if we're going to make it to Phoenix, Santa Fe,
and Dallas before midnight to pick up those last
few abductees."
"He's right. We really should get moving. So, what
do you think, Scully? You wanna climb on board and
take a ride on the wild side?"
"I think I already did, Mulder," she replied with
a smile, happily patting her abdomen.
"Have I told you lately how much I love you?"
"Actually, you did. I heard your voice in my head
just this morning," she replied. "And I saw you in
a vision too, which is why I knew you were coming
for me tonight."
"I'm impressed," he said smiling. "I'm also turned
on."
"I can see that," she said as she looked down at
the rather tight loincloth now wrapped around his
hips. "So, are we going to get this party started
or what? You said you couldn't wait to show me what
you did with the place...so show me."
"Are you sure you don't want me to show you something
else right now, Scully?" he asked, waggling his
eyebrows at her.
"Oh brother," said the Bounty Hunter from the top of
the stairs. "You'd think you two had been separated
for three years instead of three days. Just give her
another kiss, Mulder, and you can do the rest of the
stuff later. We're on a deadline," he said impatiently.
And so Mulder did kiss her.
And then they went aboard the ship where Scully was
extremely impressed with the leather seats.
And where the two of them later spent an hour on one
of those extremely impressive leather seats doing the
rest of *the stuff*.
As for BH, not only did he make it to all three of his
[continued in next message]
--- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05
* Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)
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