From: k.morse@ntlworld.com   
      
   Peccavi Part1 :Fox flew over the cuckoo's nest.   
   Author: truthwebothknow1 dragonrider1@ntlworld.com   
   Category: Pre-X files MT Angst MSR   
   Rating: Mature reading   
   Summary: Looks like another Christmas will suck and   
   the past comes back to haunt and opens up Mulder's   
   personal Pandora's box.   
   Archive: Sure after two weeks sole exclusivity for   
   IMTP VS12.   
   Disclaimer: Fox and CC own the X files. I just like   
   messing with Mulder and Sully's head. Good cheap   
   therapy. I wash them feed and clean them before   
   sending them back to Chris's tent Mulder gets Scully   
   comfort with me too. Cheap thrills but no profit.   
      
      
   Washington DC Downtown mall   
   23rd December   
      
   The Mall was swarming with Christmas shoppers like an   
   army of noisy, gaudily coloured ants with manic   
   purpose.   
      
   Mulder could just make out the back of Scully's flame-   
   haired head, as she stood at the counter in the faux   
   Dickensian fronted toy shop. The snow was fake too, he   
   mused. A bit like the smile he'd pasted on his face   
   for Scully's sake this morning, when his partner   
   suggested this grand expedition into the frenzied   
   unwashed masses of DC.   
      
   It had been a back-achingly long day, and he felt as   
   though he had just trudged around the Sahara for hours   
   draped in his heaviest wool long coat while fending   
   off the first tingling throat irritation of a cold,   
   and feeling the sweat pour down his back. Great --   
   that's all he needed, he sniffled as he tried to take   
   a deep breath amidst the sweltering throng of bodies   
   milling around him. He so wanted to be home, take a   
   hot shower, and curl up with Scully, preferably in bed   
   with some cocoa and TLC.   
      
   As much as he loved Scully and as much as she loved   
   shopping for her nieces and nephews, if he had to   
   endure his feet getting trampled on, or shoved   
   unceremoniously one more time, or winked at by a   
   Hohoho-ing Santa, he might just have to draw his gun.   
      
   His head being the first recipient of a bullet, he   
   decided.  He idly wondered what the halls would look   
   like decked with his brains.   
      
   Here he was sitting in a slump on the bench by the   
   strobing lights of a huge tinsel conifer next to   
   McDonald's, which currently seemed to be invaded by a   
   gaggle of Japanese tourists. By his side he gazed   
   nonchalantly at a huge stack of bags and boxes; the   
   fruits of Scully's shopping labors. Had she bought   
   half the Mall?   
      
   He gamely rubbed his sore back with one hand while the   
   other held the remains of a soggy egg Mcmuffin. It   
   looked as sad as he felt, now hours old.  The lights   
   flashed and mocked him like a bank of undulating UFOs;   
   intensifying his headache and the smell of the grease   
   ball in his hand making his stomach do the Christmas   
   twist.   
      
   Up until today, he hadn't seen much joy on Scully's   
   face at the prospect of another grief tinged holiday   
   season and yet another empty space at the table.   
   Bill's death was still palpable, and poor Tara was   
   facing her first Christmas without her husband and her   
   two small kids and their father.  But the Scullys   
   were stronger than that. Mulder knew that right down   
   to his marrow. Adversity made them rally; they   
   overcame and made the best of a bad situation.  How   
   different from his own family. A slither of pain   
   lanced through him as his mind traitorously supplied   
   that thought.   
      
   His family had crumbled like dust in the wind after   
   Sam was taken. He was always astonished how the ghosts   
   of half a lifetime ago could ambush him with   
   painful clarity, especially amidst all this festivity.   
   The holidays were always difficult for Mulder but it   
   had gotten much better since Scully came into his life   
   with the love and light he'd been missing.   
      
   Despite feeling like shit, he'd make the best of it   
   too.  Bill and he had never been each other's biggest   
   fans, but his children were adorable. They deserved a   
   nice Christmas.  Even out today, Scully seemed to have   
   shaken off her melancholia and actively looked to be   
   having fun. It did his heart good to see it.   
      
   All of them, bar Charlie...and he wasn't going there-   
   would be at Maggie's on Christmas Day, and they would   
   swallow their collective pain to create the happiest   
   holiday they could for the sake of little Mathew and   
   Claire, hence Scully's seemingly unstoppable attempts   
   to max out her credit cards and few of his.   
      
   Mulder was jolted from his reverie when he looked up   
   to find two piercing blue eyes raking over him. They   
   weren't Scully's. Their swarthy owner scowled as   
   Mulder coughed again, and then wiped disgustedly at   
   his damp lapel and shuffled away from the ailing   
   agent.   
      
   He never felt more unloved and dejected than he did   
   right then and now his nose was rebelling too. He   
   sneezed once, twice and blew his nose loudly into the   
   greasy serviette that had held his lunch, the only   
   thing he had serviceable as a tissue. The rest of the   
   McMuffin rolled onto the floor.   
      
   "Yo ho--" sneeze, sniff, "--Ho!!"   
      
   "Hey, there. What is it, Mulder? You sick?"   
   Immediately she launched into doctor mode, and her   
   free hand shot out to touch his forehead; it must have   
   burned her hand. A furnace would have been cooler. It   
   was slightly embarrassing too as there were lots of   
   people around. "You're burning up. Time to call it a   
   day, I think, and get you home to bed." He pulled two   
   sad eyes up to meet Scully's. She smiled at him   
   ruefully and rubbed her fingers over one slightly eggy   
   cheek with the hand that wasn't laden down with yet   
   more parcels.   
      
   "Ooh, yeah. I'm just sitting here like one big old   
   germ factory.  Caught my sad attempt at spreading joy   
   to the world, huh?"   
      
   "You give me plenty of joy. You know that, don't you?   
   Come on, if you are a good boy and cooperative, I   
   might get out the Vick's Vapor Rub. " She ruffled his   
   hair and placed a kiss against his forehead.   
      
   He sniffed loudly, dumping his makeshift hankie in a   
   trashcan as he hauled himself to his feet.  He managed   
   a small leer and leaned into her touch. "Even   
   when I literally have egg on my face and I'm full of   
   snot?"   
      
   "Especially then. Come on Santa let's get home. "   
      
   Mulder and Scully Duplex December 23.   
   Two hours later.   
      
   Scully and Mulder shuttled their many purchases from   
   the car into their home. It was beginning to snow   
   again, and a hot drink and food beckoned.   
      
   "What's in the bags Scully?" he asked teasingly as he   
   blew his nose for what seemed like the millionth time   
   that day. Scully slapped at his questing fingers, on   
   her way to put the kettle on.   
      
   "All kinds of goodies. Oh, careful with that big box!"   
      
   Her warning came too late, Mulder must have picked up   
   the box at the wrong end and the packaging fell off,   
   revealing what was inside.   
      
   Mulder froze, his breath disappearing as the package   
   fell to the floor. He staggered back and then seemed   
   to crumple forward against the table. His fingers shot   
   out to steady himself. The other hand clutched at his   
   chest as if he were in pain.   
      
   "Mulder...what is it?"   
      
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)