From: susanf34@comcast.net   
      
   *NO ARCHIVE*   
      
      
      
   Headers, notes, disclaimers, etc. can all be found   
   in chapter one. susanf34@comcast.net   
      
      
   Damariscotta   
   by Susan   
   ~~~~   
      
   chapter three   
      
      
   "Mulder."   
      
   "Who is it? Is someone there?"   
      
   "Agent Mulder, how nice to see you again. You're   
   looking well."   
      
   "Why are you here? What do you want?"   
      
   "The same thing you want."   
      
   "You don't know what I want. You don't know anything   
   about me."   
      
   "On the contrary, Agent Mulder. I know everything   
   about both you and your partner."   
      
   "What do you know about Scully?"   
      
   "I know she has cancer and that you're desperately   
   trying to find a cure for it."   
      
   "Let me guess. You want to give me that cure."   
      
   "Of course, I do."   
      
   "Out of the goodness of your black heart, right?"   
      
   "Are you questioning my motives?"   
      
   "You could say that."   
      
   "Let me assure you that I only have your best   
   interest at heart...just as I did when I directed   
   Dr. Goldstein to help you retrieve your memories."   
      
   "What are you talking about?"   
      
   "He gave you access to your past, about the night   
   your sister was taken, didn't he?"   
      
   "He gave me access to something...I'm not sure   
   what."   
      
   "I was the one who asked him to do it."   
      
   "What? Why?"   
      
   "Ask yourself, Agent Mulder. Why is it that I   
   always seem to appear in your dreams?"   
      
   "I don't know."   
      
   "I think you do."   
      
   "Because you're a chain-smoking son of a bitch   
   who has nothing better to do than to manipulate   
   me and my partner?"   
      
   "It's much simpler than that, Mulder."   
      
   "Then enlighten me."   
      
   "You want to know why I have an interest in you,   
   why I've protected you all these years?"   
      
   "Tell me."   
      
   "I'm your father, Fox."   
      
   "Hmmphh..." I grunted, my eyes suddenly flying   
   open in the dark. Quickly sitting up in bed, I   
   took a deep breath and surveyed the room, trying   
   to get my bearings.   
      
   It was 3:00 in the morning, and I wasn't on my   
   couch at home.   
      
   I was in an unfamiliar bedroom in an unfamiliar   
   place, experiencing a very familiar scenario.   
      
   Another nightmare and another possibility too   
   unimaginable for me to consider.   
      
   Or was it?   
      
   Was it possible that that bastard really was my   
   father, or was this just another twisted version   
   of reality working its way through my mind courtesy   
   of the ketamine still trying to get out of my   
   system?   
      
   Just a few days ago, I remember pondering the same   
   thoughts about my mother and about her involvement   
   with him.   
      
   I also remember the fear I saw in her eyes the night   
   I asked her about it.   
      
   But was questioning her betrayal really the right   
   thing for me to do without knowing which facts   
   were true and which ones were planted in my head?   
      
   I honestly didn't know, and right now, I didn't   
   want to know.   
      
   My hands starting to shake, I took in another   
   long breath, then slowly got out of bed and made   
   my way to the kitchen. Opening the cupboard door   
   and getting some water from the faucet as quietly   
   as I could so I wouldn't wake up Scully, I walked   
   back over to the table on unsteady legs and sat   
   down.   
      
   It was dark in the kitchen, but because of the   
   moonlight shining through the thin curtains on   
   the cottage window, not so dark that I couldn't   
   see what I was doing. Bringing the cup to my   
   mouth, I shut my eyes and took several gulps of   
   water.   
      
   "You okay, Mulder?" asked Scully, her unexpected   
   voice causing me to nearly choke on the water I'd   
   just started to swallow.   
      
   "Jesus, Scully...you scared me," I said in between   
   coughs.   
      
   "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to startle you," she   
   said, giving my back a gentle pat as she walked   
   by me, then sitting down in the chair next to   
   mine. "Another bad dream?"   
      
   I nodded my head, then set the now empty cup down   
   on the table and coughed again, trying to get the   
   last bit of water to go down my throat. "I'm sorry   
   I woke you."   
      
   Bringing the tissue she had in her hand up to her   
   face, she pressed it against her nose and tilted   
   her head back. "You didn't wake me, Mulder."   
      
   Suddenly realizing what she was doing, I leaned   
   over closer to her, put my hand on her arm. "You   
   had another nosebleed, didn't you?"   
      
   She nodded.   
      
   "Oh, Scully."   
      
   "It's okay. I've had them in the middle of the   
   night before," she said, lightly dabbing at her   
   nose, then bringing her hand back down.   
      
   Thankfully, there were only two small dots of   
   blood on it.   
      
   "It's just about over with now, I think," she   
   added.   
      
   "What can I do?"   
      
   "You can stop staring at me like that." She wiped   
   her nose again, then looked down at the tissue.   
      
   Only one dot this time, but bigger than the other   
   two.   
      
   "Are you sure you're all right? You want me to   
   see if they can give me the name of a doctor at   
   the front desk? I can get dressed, go to the   
   lobby, and..." I offered as I started to get up   
   from the table, but before I could stand up all   
   the way, she reached out and grabbed my arm.   
      
   "Sit down, Mulder. I'm okay. My doctor says that   
   nighttime nosebleeds are common with nasopharyngeal   
   cancer, especially for those people that move around   
   a lot in their sleep. I must've rolled over onto my   
   side too fast or something," she explained.   
      
   But the more I listened to her, the more I didn't   
   want to hear her explanation.   
      
   Why hadn't she told me this before?   
      
   Why hadn't she said anything all those times we'd   
   stayed up late working at my apartment? All the   
   times we'd had to spend the night in a motel over   
   the last few weeks?   
      
   Why hadn't she been honest with me?   
      
   "Why didn't you tell me any of this before?" I   
   asked, my fingers now firmly gripping the cup in   
   front of me as I watched her wipe her nose a third   
   time.   
      
   "What are you talking about?" she asked, though I   
   could tell by the expression on her face that she   
   knew exactly what I was talking about.   
      
   I bit down on my lip, squeezed the cup harder.   
   "You kept this from me, Scully. All these weeks   
   you knew that having nosebleeds like this could   
   be a problem, and you never told me," I angrily   
   answered.   
      
   She set the crumpled up tissue on the table. "I   
   didn't think you needed to know."   
      
   "Didn't need to know?" I abruptly stood up from   
   my chair, almost knocking it down in the process.   
   "Of course, I need to know. What if we're on a   
   case somewhere, and you have a bad nosebleed in   
   your motel room during the middle of the night?   
   What then, Scully? Do you want me to find you   
   lying unconscious on the floor because you lost   
   so much blood you couldn't get to a phone?" I   
   asked, my frustration level rising right along   
   with my voice.   
      
   "That's not fair, Mulder."   
      
   "And it's not fair for you to keep things like   
   this from me, Scully," I snapped, walking over   
   to the counter and leaning against the edge of   
   the sink. "Especially when we talked about being   
   honest with each other just yesterday."   
      
   She didn't say anything then, and I didn't blame   
   her. She had come out to the kitchen to check on   
   me, and in return, all I'd done was throw one   
   accusation after another at her.   
      
   "You're right, Mulder. It's not fair," she finally   
   said as she got up from her chair and tossed the   
   used tissue into the wastebasket. "I should've   
   told you."   
      
   I looked at her standing there in the dark, holding   
   her robe closed over her thinning body, and almost   
   as quickly as my anger had taken over, it disappeared.   
      
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)