From: RhymePhile@hotmail.com   
      
   Title: "Memento Paperpusher"   
   Author: RhymePhile   
   E-mail: RhymePhile@hotmail.com   
   Distribution: Wherever, knock yourself out   
   Rating: R for sexual situations, language   
   Category: V, Humor   
   Keyword: Mulder/Krycek slash   
   Spoilers: "Paper Hearts," "Pusher," "Memento Mori"   
   Summary: In this vignette, three situations from three different XF episodes   
   are "mashed" together, leading to an interesting development in Mulder's   
   life.   
   Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to me, dammit. So there.   
   Author's Note: Written for the Mash-Up Challenge on MKV, a quick, fluffy,   
   piece I scribbled out on the bus ride home yesterday.   
      
      
   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
   "Memento Paperpusher" (1 of 1)   
   by RhymePhile   
   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
      
   Slowly, slowly he traced the droplet of sweat with his tongue, shivering   
   with sensation as he felt the body under his shift in response.   
      
   Hands, lips, thighs -- they writhed in time to his adept work as his   
   attention focused on the valley of a hip, the stretch of a muscle, the   
   tautness of a firm stomach.   
      
   He could feel his own body responding as he moved closer, tongue gliding in   
   a dance of pleasure he could now hear reflected in the sounds coming from   
   beneath him.   
      
   The moaning...oh, God, it reverberated throughout his body like a hot wind,   
   making him ache, making his arms and legs quiver.   
      
   He licked his lips in anticipation, and then looked up into the face of Alex   
   Krycek.   
      
   "Yessssss..." came the breathless reply to the unasked question. "You know   
   you want it..."   
      
   Mulder bolted upright in bed, sweating, his hands tangled in bed sheets.   
      
   "Holy *shit*!"   
      
   *     *     *   
      
   "Mulder?"   
      
   "Hmm?"   
      
   "Did you hear what I just said?"   
      
   Mulder looked up from his neat row of pencils arranged across his desk   
   blotter. "Uh..."   
      
   Scully scowled at him. "You can at least *pretend* to pay attention when I'm   
   talking, Mulder. Y'know, the way you generally listen to me."   
      
   "Hey!" Mulder feigned a hurt look but had to grin. "Okay, point taken.   
   Sorry, Scully."   
      
   "You've been awfully distracted for the past two weeks, Mulder. Anything you   
   want to tell me?"   
      
   He shook his head. "Nothing nefarious. Just having trouble sleeping again."   
      
   "I could suggest better ways to deal with the insomnia if you'd like,   
   Mulder."   
      
   "Soothing backrubs followed by copious amounts of cookies and milk?" he   
   asked hopefully.   
      
   "No. Sleeping pills."   
      
   Mulder laughed at that. "I've got enough to deal with, Scully," he said.   
   "With my history of sleep problems I'd be addicted in no time."   
      
   "I suppose you could always hire a masseuse who works for the Oreo Company,"   
   she said, grinning in spite of herself.   
      
   "Which would lead to another hopeless addiction," he sighed wistfully.   
      
   She playfully batted his arm. "Well, you're going to have to find some way   
   to fix this, because I can tell it's affecting you."   
      
   "You can?"   
      
   "Mulder, you've been walking around here like a zombie for the past two   
   weeks. Something is going to have to change before you either make yourself   
   sick or get one of us hurt."   
      
   "You're right, Scully," he admitted. "If I don't make progress within the   
   next few days, I'll consider the sleeping pills. How's that?"   
      
   "Better," she agreed.   
      
   *     *     *   
      
   He was kissing him this time, hot and rough, tongues colliding and stroking.   
      
   He was throbbing, his body searching for the release he knew only Krycek   
   could provide.   
      
   A wet trail snaked its way down his throat as Krycek slid his lips over his   
   neck. Krycek was moaning, a deep guttural sound that sent shockwaves across   
   Mulder's skin every time his mouth moved.   
      
   Mulder needed that mouth on him, over him, around him, sucking, licking,   
   teasing. He couldn't hold still -- his hips began slowly thrusting into the   
   other man's chest.   
      
   He heard a soft chuckle as Krycek moved to kneel before him. "So hot...I'm   
   going to make you scream..."   
      
   Mulder awoke with such a start that he almost fell out of bed. Panting, and   
   feeling a familiar strain against his boxers, he steadied himself with a   
   deep breath.   
      
   "My God...what the hell is happening?"   
      
   *     *     *   
      
   "Did you hear me?" she asked impatiently.   
      
   "Did I file what?"   
      
   Scully sighed and leaned against his desk. "I didn't ask if you filed   
   anything. I said I'm due in Skinner's office in a little while."   
      
   "Oh."   
      
   "Mulder..."   
      
   "I know, Scully. I know. I thought it would get better -- I don't eat before   
   I go to bed, no TV in the bedroom, tried the warm milk, mediation. I can   
   fall asleep, I just can't...stay that way for any length of time."   
      
   "If you're still in this state by the end of the week, I'm going to take   
   action."   
      
   "Y'know, Scully, they say sexual activity can aid sleep patterns."   
      
   She rolled her eyes and gathered up her report for Skinner. "I'll take your   
   word for it," she answered sarcastically. "See you later."   
      
   "Maybe if you came back after your meeting in something red and reveal..."   
      
   She shut the door behind her before Mulder could finish his sentence.   
      
   *     *     *   
      
   While Scully was gone Mulder kept busy by re-alphabetizing some of their   
   newer files. He was in the middle of the H's when the office phone rang.   
      
   "Mulder," he answered.   
      
   "Hello there," the low, sultry voice responded.   
      
   "Uh..."   
      
   "If you don't know who this is I'm going to be seriously disappointed.   
      
   "*Krycek*?"   
      
   "Ding!" he said. "It's so good you got that expensive Oxford education."   
      
   "Yeah, um, what did you mean, 'disappointed'?"   
      
   Krycek sighed on the other end of the line. "Having trouble sleeping   
   lately?"   
      
   "I knew it!" Mulder hissed angrily. "You bastard...you've done something to   
   me..."   
      
   "Well...maybe."   
      
   "Damn you, Krycek, when I get my hands on you, I'm going to..."   
      
   "Going to what?" he asked, his voice low and seductive.   
      
   "Uh..."   
      
   Krycek continued, his voice taking on a warm, inviting tone. "You're going   
   to make your dreams reality?"   
      
   "Wha? I...no..."   
      
   "Yes you are, Mulder," Krycek said, soothingly. "I think you're imagining it   
   right now, in fact."   
      
   Mulder shook his head, but couldn't get the sound of Krycek's voice out of   
   his mind. "I'm not...I...   
      
   "Oh, I know you are, Mulder," Krycek interrupted. "Just thinking about it is   
   making you touch yourself."   
      
   "No..."   
      
   "Yes. You're sitting at your desk right now with your hand down your pants,   
   aren't you?"   
      
   Mulder shook his head at the phone, but realized he really did have his hand   
   down the front of his trousers. He didn't even remember sitting down behind   
   the desk.   
      
   "Yesssss," Mulder answered dreamily.   
      
   "Uh-huh, and who are you thinking about when you touch yourself, Mulder?"   
      
   "I'm thinking of...I don't...it's...   
      
   "It's me, and I'm naked. Can you see it?"   
      
   Mulder grinned, his hand working. "It's you, naked..."   
      
   "Right Mulder, but you need to stop now."   
      
   "Stop? But it feels so..."   
      
   "I know," Krycek said, his voice still holding that steady timbre. "But you   
   should meet me so we can talk."   
      
   "Talk. Okay."   
      
   "Write this down. Meet me in an hour at the Pour House, 319 Pennsylvania   
   Avenue, Southeast. Walk down to the Capitol building and make a left. Bear   
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)