From: arcadianfalls@yahoo.com.au   
      
   **NOTE: Sorry guys, I did post this when I posted part one, but for   
   some reason it hasn't come through on the mailing list/s. Apologies if   
   you have received it twice.   
   **Thank you to all the people who have sent feedback so far - it makes   
   my day, always :)   
      
      
   Imagine That (2/2)   
   by arcadianfalls   
   arcadianfalls@yahoo.com.au   
      
      
      
   >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>   
      
      
      
   SCULLY   
      
      
   Everything happens for a reason. Slow down, Agent Scully.   
   We left the hospital. Went back to Mulder's place and I made him tea.   
   And we talked. Listened. Sat.   
   I was wearing my new green sweater. He caught the hem between thumb and   
   forefinger, playing with the knit. Sleepy and comfortable, I watched,   
   letting it be one of those slow moments, letting it be what it was.   
   "I like this colour on you." He reached to brush hair from my face. "It   
   brings out your eyes."   
      
      
      
   >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>   
      
      
   MULDER   
      
      
      
   She fell asleep on my couch. Funny how the thought of her ever having   
   been somebody else's could shoot such fear into my heart. The   
   possibilities, the hundreds or thousands of choices that could have led   
   to her being somewhere else. But she chose her life to be with me. I   
   think she could see how grateful I was.   
   I wanted her to stay. Not because I expected anything to happen but   
   because I knew from what she had said that she'd had a long few days   
   and I wanted her to sleep through the night. And though I sensed they   
   had been an emotional few days, I wasn't worried any more, and I felt   
   confident as I scooped her up in the rug and carried her to my bedroom   
   that I had no ulterior motive.   
   A goodnight kiss dropped on her forehead, I wouldn't have dared had she   
   been awake. I got away with things like that when she was vulnerable,   
   but I knew to back off once she got her strength back. I was about to   
   leave her to sleep when she stirred, a hand reaching out, her eyes   
   fluttering open.   
      
      
   "Mmm-"   
      
      
   I sat on the edge of the bed, letting her fingers find mine, interlock   
   with them. She gazed at me with a sleepy seriousness, watched our hands   
   playing, then she tugged me closer. I understood the invitation. I   
   kissed her. Her mouth welcomed me, warm and alive, drinking me in. She   
   tugged me closer, and I realised what was happening.   
      
      
   "Scully..."   
      
      
   "Shhh."   
      
      
      
      
      
   She was gone in the morning. I searched for a note, some signal from   
   her, but there was nothing to indicate what sort of state of mind she   
   had left in.   
      
      
   When I arrived at the office, she was already working. Didn't look up   
   at me, just held up a handful of files and said there were messages for   
   me on my desk. I stood for a long moment in the middle of the room,   
   waiting for her to look up, say something, but she didn't.   
      
      
   The next few days were excruciating. We talked about work, but she   
   seemed to studiously avoid all conversation that could lead into a   
   discussion of what had happened that night. I wasn't trying to press   
   the issue, but I couldn't ignore the bitter disappointment that she   
   seemed to want to keep half a room between us at all times.   
      
      
   What now? I'd thought perhaps that night had been the beginning of   
   something, but it seemed we were just ignoring what had happened,   
   pretending it never had. Did she really want to go backward rather than   
   forward? The questions were killing me.   
      
      
      
   The fourth day. She'd barely been in the office thirty seconds when I   
   burst out with it.   
   "I'm going crazy, Scully."   
      
      
   She stopped. Pursed her lips. Leaned back against the wall and exhaled.   
   "Mulder..."   
      
      
   "You left! You didn't say a word. You've just left me wondering. I   
   don't know if you're just pretending it never happened, or what."   
      
      
   "What am I supposed to say? Thanks for having me?"   
      
      
   "How about, 'Let's have breakfast'?"   
      
      
   "I couldn't, Mulder."   
      
      
   "Why not?"   
      
      
   "Because that's not who we are. And not what this is - whatever this   
   is. We're not just every other couple in a relationship and we're not   
   just friends who got drunk and had a one-night-stand. We're something   
   else. I don't know how to describe it exactly. But we're different. And   
   we can't just sit down and have breakfast and pretend otherwise."   
      
      
   "It's just breakfast, Scully. It's bacon and eggs - or in your case,   
   low-fat yoghurt and lite cream cheese on a bagel, or whatever the hell   
   it is you eat these days. It's sitting and reading a newspaper over   
   coffee."   
      
      
   "And then taking two separate cars to work?"   
      
      
   It dawned on me. "You're worried about what people will think?"   
      
      
   "Of course I'm worried about what people will think! I'm worried about   
   you losing the X-files."   
      
      
   "They won't take the X-files away from me because of us."   
      
      
   "No, but there may not be an us."   
      
      
   "You're saying they'll split up our partnership?"   
      
      
   "Think about it, Mulder. Fast forward beyond the next week. Where have   
   we got to go from here? What do we become? Do we live together and work   
   together? Or do we spend the rest of our lives sneaking around? Best   
   case scenario is they reassign me. Worst case scenario is they use this   
   opportunity to break up the X-files. I won't let them do that."   
      
      
   "They don't need to know."   
      
      
   "They already know everything else about us. How long do you think it   
   would really take them to figure it out? One phone call from Skinner in   
   the middle of the night, one overheard conversation..." She sighed,   
   blue eyes meeting mine honestly. "It's not that I don't want to,   
   Mulder. But we can't. You know that."   
      
      
      
   >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>   
      
   SCULLY   
      
      
   It was a sinking feeling inside me from that first cough. I'd already   
   been imagining what the symptoms of the infestation might be, how it   
   might be recognised, what it would feel like as the eggs hatched in the   
   lungs, and when Mulder began to cough I had an immediate, surreal sense   
    of discovering that it was in fact just as I had hypothesized.   
      
      
   I couldn't believe that he might die. Of course, the danger, the   
   reality of it was right in front of me, and medically I was all-too   
   aware of how risky it was, that he had little chance of survival unless   
   we found a cure. But I couldn't quite comprehend that after everything   
   we had survived together, Mulder could be brought down by something so   
   deceptively innocent. And that I, the doctor, might not be able to save   
   him. This was my field, my experience. Of all the close encounters we   
   had had with death, this should have been the one I could stop.   
      
      
   He knew how serious it was. I held his hand, wanting that contact with   
   him, not really knowing how to put into words all the things I wanted   
   to say. Wondering how I could have been so stupid as to worry about   
   next week, next month, about something so petty as Skinner finding out   
   about us, when all that mattered was his life. I wanted Mulder, joking   
   around, getting intense and passionate, being overprotective of me. I   
   didn't care if that was in the bureau or watching a video on my couch,   
   it was just about having him in my life, because I couldn't imagine my   
   life without him. And surely all these experiences we'd had should have   
   taught us one thing - to stop worrying about the future and simply   
   seize the moment.   
      
      
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)