From: enigmatic76@hotmail.com   
      
   TITLE: Asking for a Miracle   
   AUTHOR: E.D.   
   RATING: PG-13 for language   
   CATEGORY: MSR   
   KEYWORDS: Mulder/Scully romance   
   SPOILERS: Per Manum missing scene   
   SUMMARY: Mulder knows something's up.   
   ARCHIVE: Sure, just let me know.   
   FEEDBACK: enigmatic76@hotmail.com   
   DISCLAIMER: No ownership, no profit.   
      
   To banlu, for her birthday.   
      
   ASKING FOR A MIRACLE   
      
   OK, something's up.  She hasn't even said hello yet, and it's almost   
   11.  Not only that, she's been fidgeting all morning.  Tapping   
   pencils, drumming her fingers, constantly moving her chair around.  I   
   don't think she realizes that the wheels squeak.  I love her, but   
   this is getting a little annoying, now that I've noticed it.  Usually   
   fidgeting *and* silence only happen when Bill comes to town and he   
   just left for a long cruise.   
      
   Hmm.   
      
   Normally, I'd poke her for information, but it hasn't been long   
   enough since my I-know-why-you're-barren confession for me to be   
   asking her about anything personal.   
      
   I'm lucky she didn't shoot me.   
      
   "Mulder?"   
      
   "What's up?"   
      
   "We...um, need to talk.  I have to run an errand and I was planning   
   on taking the afternoon off, but we should meet up for lunch.  I made   
   some reservations at Coppi's, so I'll see you there at 1:30?"   
      
   "Uh, sure, see you then."   
      
   She had her bag together in record time.  Less than 30 seconds later,   
   the door closed behind her, and I was left to think.  And stew.   
      
   1:20 PM   
   Coppi's Restaurant   
      
   Shit.  So this is it.   
      
   The last couple of hours were spent staring at the wall.  On the way   
   over here, I figured it out - she's leaving.  I've finally driven her   
   away because I didn't tell her the truth.  Getting her to leave me   
   was my goal until she   
   was abducted, and if I were to be totally honest with myself, at   
   least a minor consideration since.  On one hand, I do still want her   
   to get as far away from me as possible.  On the other hand, if she   
   did leave, I'd beat myself up for the rest of my life for letting the   
   person who means the world to me slip away.   
      
   The restaurant was fairly quiet, small oil lamps on round tables with   
   thick white tablecloths.  A few clinks of silverware, a popped cork,   
   a little bit of conversation.  When I worry about it ending, there's   
   usually a lot more noise.  An argument over a case going completely   
   out of control, gunshots, even a car accident.  I'm at least mentally   
   prepared for those scenarios.  It's the quiet ones you have to watch   
   out for.   
      
   "Mulder?"   
      
   God, she looks nervous.  Nervous, but beautiful.  Black dress pants,   
   and a white blouse with an open collar.  The earrings are new, tiny   
   hanging gold teardrops.   
      
   Don'tleavedon'tleavedon'tleave.   
      
   "Hey Scully, what's up?"  I tried to stand up to pull out her chair.   
   That didn't work, but I did catch a small smile before she sat down.   
   Is she having second thoughts about quitting?   
      
   "I saw the doctor today."   
      
   Oh no.  Not prepared for this.   
      
   "It's not..."   
      
   "No, not an oncologist.  I got that second opinion on my ova."   
      
   "Hi, my name is Ian, and I'll be your server this afternoon..."   
   shocked me back to reality.   
      
   I placed my order in record time, and so did Scully.   
      
   Once Ian left, a nervous silence descended.  The conversation, which   
   hadn't gotten off the ground before we were interrupted, stalled   
   utterly.   
      
   We sat in silence for what seemed like forever.  And now we were both   
   fidgeting.  Once the food arrived, we both had something to occupy   
   ourselves with.   
      
   "There's a chance I can have a child."   
      
   "That's great!"   
      
   She smiled, a big full smile, all the way to her eyes and took my   
   hand across the table.  Her eyes were bright, without the aid of a   
   thick layer of tears.  At least she'll leave happy.   
      
   "I have to get started right away though."   
      
   I'm smiling one of those pasted-on smiles and hoping she doesn't   
   realize my heart stopped.   
      
   "I understand.  I hope teaching at Quantico doesn't mean the end of   
   our Friday night poker game though."   
      
   Smooth, really smooth, jackass.   
      
   Another smile, but a confused one.   
      
   "What are you talking about Mulder?  You've lost me."   
      
   "I'm sorry for the joke.  I know how important this is to you and I   
   meant to say that I understand if you want to go back to teaching.   
   That's why we're here isn't it?"   
      
   "Mulder, stop it.  That's not why we're here."  Cupping my hand in   
   both of hers, she stared at the tablecloth and took a few deep, shaky   
   breaths.   
      
   OK, now I'm really confused.   
      
   "We're here because I need to ask you something and I didn't want to   
   do it at the office.  I know that this is really sudden, it is for me   
   too, but the fertility specialist told me that this couldn't wait.   
   Mulder, I know that our lifestyle isn't ideal, but this is my only   
   chance.  I need to do this and there's no one that I would rather be   
   the father of my baby.  Our baby."   
      
   Come again?   
      
   "Mulder?  You still with me?" she asked as she gave my hand a gentle   
   tug.   
      
   "Ummm hmm."   
      
   "I know this is a lot to ask.  I should go, you need time to think."   
      
   She got up slowly, not looking directly at me, and I rose from my   
   chair   
   on shaky legs.  The request was starting to sink in.  Baby.   
   Our baby.   
      
   I did need to think, but I also had to go back to work.   
      
   5:30 PM   
   En route to Georgetown   
      
   Obviously, no work took place this afternoon.  I thought about Scully,   
   and babies.  At first, I only had selfish thoughts.  The baby was a   
   permanent tie between us.  Even if we stopped working together and   
   never had anything more, we'd still have birthdays, graduations, and   
   maybe school plays.   
      
   Then, all of the negatives.  What if we weren't meant to be parents?   
   What about the danger?  Who knows what that hopefully cancer-ridden   
   bastard would do if he knew there was a little piece of both of us   
   out there that we loved so much.  How would we work together, and   
   raise a baby together?  So I left the office, with the intention of   
   trying to convince her to wait.   
      
   "This is my only chance."   
      
   Scully's simple statement rang in my head while I was in the   
   elevator.  I   
   felt like such a schmuck.  She wanted a child, and after some   
   thought, I realized I wanted to experience that with her.  I love   
   her, and I want to see that smile as much as possible.  Visions of a   
   pregnant, glowing Scully, both of us in a birthing class, her   
   breaking my hand during childbirth, and Scully nursing our baby   
   propelled me the rest of the way to her.   
      
   5:45   
   Scully's apartment   
      
   I actually skipped up the steps to her apartment.   
      
   Then a chilling thought - what if she just wants my "genetic   
   material"?  She said "our baby," but what did she mean?   
      
   She opened the door, and we exchanged pleasantries.  She looked about   
   ready to jump out of her skin, so I tried not to waste time as I   
   stumbled around what it was I was trying to say, while trying to   
   figure out if she wanted me in our child's life.   
      
   "See what's weird is... this sounds, and this sounds really weird, I   
   know, but  I, I just wouldn't want this to come between us."   
      
   For the first time since I came in, I really looked at her.  The   
   smile was gone, and her shoulders were slumped. She looked almost   
   defeated.  Her eyes were clouded and avoiding me, instead of clear   
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)