From: erinmblair@gmail.com   
      
   TITLE: Never Again Aftermath   
   AUTHOR: Erin Blair   
   E-MAIL: eblair@sonic.net / erinmblair@gmail.com   
   FEEDBACK: Yes, please.   
   DISTRIBUTION: OK to Gossamer, Ephemeral, MSR   
   Fanfic Cheerleaders Archive.   
   RATING: PG   
   CATEGORIES: SRA - Story, Romance, Angst.   
   KEYWORDS: Mulder/Scully Romance   
   SPOILERS: Never Again   
   DISCLAIMER: Mulder and Scully belong to Chris Carter.   
   SUMMARY: Mulder finally tells Scully the truth about   
   his feelings following the last scene in "Never Again."   
   DEDICATION: Devin, I want to thank you for truly being a   
   wonderful friend and beta reader. I want to thank my   
   beta readers, Jen and MFLuder, for looking over this   
   story.   
   NOTES: This is a MSRPreservationSociety's Secret   
   Santa giftfic for Devin. She wanted Mulder jealousy or   
   a possesive Scully with angst, but with a happy ending. I   
   hope that I succeeded. :)   
      
      
   + + + + + + + + + + + + + +   
      
   "But it's my..."   
      
   Mulder struggled to tell Scully the truth the morning after   
   she came back from her stint at the hospital. He slowly   
   gathered enough courage to tell her that he loved her. When   
   he learned that she was with Ed Jerse, it tore his soul and   
   his heart to pieces.   
      
   His mind kept replaying in slow motion of the imagined   
   scene of another man kissing Scully and then, having her   
   all to himself in his own dreamscape. The imagined scene   
   taunted him. He wished it would stop torturing his psyche.   
   His imagination was running wild with the scene until   
   questions started to pop up - did she sleep with him?   
      
   And that tattoo?   
      
   He knew Scully had removed it. That was evident when she   
   told him in the hospital, but he wondered what it had been   
   like. When he closed his eyes briefly, he imagined the   
   erotic fervor of Scully shouting, "Oh my God!" when it was   
   imprinted on her lower back.   
      
   The lower back, he reflected. That was the same place where   
   he lovingly guided and whenever he wanted to feel her.   
      
   Did Ed kiss those lips of hers?   
      
   I need to stop thinking about this, Mulder thought to   
   himself, she's free to be with anyone she desired. After   
   all, he didn't have a claim on her heart   
      
   He simply wanted her to realize that she loved him, too. He   
   wanted her to choose him, but how was she going to realize   
   it for herself? He didn't know. Instead, he looked down at   
   another case that could take them out of town.   
      
   *  *  *   
      
   Scully looked at Mulder staring down at the file. She had   
   wondered what stopped him from continuing his sentence.   
   What was he going to going to say to her?   
      
   She reflected on the events that led up to this moment. To   
   her, life was like an everlasting cycle. Paternalistic   
   figures dominated her life, but she never viewed Mulder   
   this way. Although he exasperated her, she knew that he   
   always treated her as an equal. However, never for one   
   moment she wanted to leave Mulder.   
      
   Most of all, she loved him.   
      
   She had some guesses: But it's my life, too. But it's the   
   way I feel for you, Scully. But it's you who I love. But   
   it's our life - together.   
      
   She moaned softly. There were so many possibilities that   
   she couldn't quite narrow it down just to one. She needed   
   to know. She had to know what he was going to tell her.   
      
   It was time for her to end the silence. "Mulder?" She   
   paused, noting he wasn't looking up. "Mulder!"   
      
   Mulder finally looked up and mumbled, "Sorry, I was just   
   thinking."   
      
   "Oh?" Then it dawned on her. She knew he had questions   
   about her time with Ed. "Mulder, I know what you're   
   thinking."   
      
   "You do?"   
      
   Scully nodded. "Nothing happened between Ed Jerse and me."   
      
   Mulder inquired. "Nothing?"   
      
   Scully nodded again. "I repeat again; nothing happened   
   between Ed Jerse and me. I slept in his bed and he slept on   
   the couch. I know you read the police report about the   
   incidence, Mulder. He did lend me his shirt because I had   
   some blood on my top." She paused, looking up at him. "From   
   the tattoo. You certainly acted territorial about me... In   
   fact, you always have since we first met."   
      
   * * *   
      
   Mulder knew Scully didn't understand the depths of his   
   feelings for her. She was right. He'd always been   
   territorial and possessive of her. It had a simple reason,   
   really. He loved her deeply. He theorized that he started   
   having feelings for her probably from the moment she   
   entered his life.   
      
   He just didn't know how to tell her.   
      
   He took a deep breath and decided that he had enough   
   courage to tell her the truth. "Scully, I know you think   
   what happened in Philadelphia has everything to do with   
   you, but if I hadn't acted this way to you... you know, been   
   like a total ass."   
      
   "Mulder, you're not a total ass."   
      
   Mulder wasn't expecting that comment from Scully. His   
   expression had a mixture of shock and surprise. Nothing in   
   between. "I'm not?"   
      
   "No."   
      
   "Do you really want to know why I didn't sleep with him?"   
      
   He slowly nodded.   
      
   "Mulder, he wasn't you," she said. She reached out to hold   
   his hand, caressing his fingers with hers. "I realized that   
   I needed you, not him, to make me whole."   
      
   "If I hadn't been this way, you would never have gone."   
      
   "You gave me a case."   
      
   "I know."   
      
   "Don't berate yourself over this. What's done is done. I   
   may have been angry with you. It's my life, Mulder. It was   
   my decision. I just wanted to rebel, to break free from   
   what I felt my life has been like ever since I was a   
   child."   
      
   "Which is?"   
      
   "My life was going in a circular motion, but it's not now."   
      
   "I still feel responsible, Scully."   
      
   "How?"   
      
   "If I didn't treat you like I didn't value you enough, you   
   wouldn't have gone."   
      
   "You're not making any sense, Mulder."   
      
   "I'm not?"   
      
   "No."   
      
   "I know I haven't obtained a desk for you, Scully."   
      
   "Mulder..."   
      
   "I do value you, Scully. I know I sometimes act like a   
   complete jerk, but you're the constant, my touchstone. And   
   yes, my soulmate." He paused, looking at her reaction.   
   "Don't look so shocked, Scully. That's how I feel about   
   you."   
      
   Scully stammered. "I don't... know what to say." She gave him   
   a tentative smile. "I care so much about you, Mulder. Ever   
   since my abduction, I've known how much you love me. My   
   mother told me how you kept my necklace to give to me after   
   I returned. She told me how lost you looked without me,   
   describing your eyes as if the light had gone out in them.   
   After she told me, I was so moved by everything you'd done   
   to get me back. You never gave up on me when everyone   
   thought I wasn't going to make it. When you talked to me in   
   the hospital, I heard you." She paused. "I know you love   
   me. We may not address it every time, but I know you do."   
   She paused. "What were you going to say?"   
      
   Mulder smiled. "But I love you, Scully."   
      
   ~~   
   The End   
      
   --   
   ------------------------------------   
   erinmblair@gmail.com   
   eblair@sonic.net   
      
      
   ------------------------ Yahoo! Groups Sponsor --------------------~-->   
   Know an art & music fan? Make a donation in their honor this holiday season!   
   http://us.click.yahoo.com/.6dcNC/.VHMAA/Zx0JAA/QsMolB/TM   
   --------------------------------------------------------------------~->   
      
   AXF is your list for ALL X-Files Fanfic... all genres, all characters, all   
   ratings.   
      
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)