From: zapquilt_2000@yahoo.com   
      
     TITLE: No One Is To Blame   
     AUTHOR: ElleThom  Email addy/.too_spooky_4u@yahoo.com   
     CATEGORY: MSR, Pre-XF, AU…maybe   
     RATING: pg to nc-17   
     SPOILERS: Screw it its all up for grabs   
     SUMMARY: A what if with a twist   
     DISCLAIMER: I know.  You know.  I know, you know.  You know I know you   
   know.  You know I know you know…oh hell where was I again?   
     FEEDBACK:  Just call me Audrey II and feed me.   
     AUTHOR”S NOTES: Not song fic, though I do tend to drop them in liberally.    
   This is my third fic, but the first posted here.  I can take it, don’t hold   
   back.   
      
     I’m not sure of anyone   
     But I’ve got plans   
     I’m not asking for everything   
     But sure I could use a hand   
     Get a little anxious sometimes   
     You’ll be gone and I’ll be left behind   
     Get a little nervous sometimes   
     It’ll be my cue and I’ll forget my lines   
                 Dashboard Confessional   
      
      
     She had come to his house every day, caring for him, and like a saint who   
   could read minds, she was gone again by six in the evening.  She usually   
   brought something home made from the kitchen of Maggie Scully, often heating   
   it up in the kitchen without    
   even turning on any lights.  She would bring it up to him in the small tray   
   she found in the kitchen, and make sure he finished the entire meal.  She took   
   care of him, doting on him and making sure he did not fall behind in any of   
   his classes.   
     They spent most of the time curled up together on his bed, she held him in   
   the silence, as they would listen to music, or watch TV.  His room was a trove   
   of hidden treasures; there were things there from all over.  Alien lighters,   
   models of cars and    
   planes, and even an h scale train set in the far corner.  She found something   
   interesting to ask him about every day.   
     “Mulder, why don’t you ever talk about your parents?  I mean I have been   
   here every day for the last two weeks and I have never heard nor seen them.”   
     The sad face crossed over his features at her query, he had known sooner or   
   later she would want to know what all the mystery was about, but he wasn’t   
   ready to divulge the hideous nature of his home life.  Then again, he probably   
   never would be. “My    
   father works for the State Department, and he is gone a lot, so I take care of   
   my mother.” He wrote. “My mother takes a lot of medication and it makes her   
   kind of out of it.” That was the nicest way he could explain his mother’s pill   
   fetish, and he    
   somehow knew that Scully caught its true meaning.  She could always understand   
   him, even when he couldn’t understand himself.   
     “So, your parents are still together?” she asked.   
     “In a sense, but I don’t think they have had a marriage for years now.” The   
   tone in his eyes screamed back off, but Dana plodded on.   
     “Because of Sam?”   
     “Sort of, there are other things too Scully.” Please, his eyes begged,   
   Please let it go.   
     She did, for now.   
                 The day he met her at the door, she knew he could talk, the   
   words, though unspoken, hung around his mouth just waiting for her to pull   
   them out of the air.   
                 “Thank you,” he smiled in a hoarse raspy voice.   
                 Dana took him home that day, Maggie and Charlie had missed him,   
   and since the bruises on his face had healed, he would not cause such a fuss   
   around the Scully household.  They fell right back into the routine,   
   afternoons and weekends.   
     Thanksgiving, the Scully family had wanted to invite the Mulders over for   
   the holiday. “I don’t think that is such a good idea Scully.” He mentioned to   
   Scully on the walk to school one crisp fall day. “I don’t really think my mom   
   even knows what day it    
   is,” he admitted.   
     “Oh Mulder,” she sighed. “I am sorry.” They decided a little white lie to   
   Maggie would suffice, they would tell them that his parents were going out of   
   town for the week, and that he would be glad to spend the holiday there with   
   them.   
     It was the first time he remembered looking forward to a holiday since Sam   
   had disappeared, he knew he would have to tell Scully where he was going for   
   college, he knew the longer he put it off, the worse it would be when he   
   finally told her.  Somehow,    
   he could not bring himself to ruin her that way, she was everything to him.   
     Thanksgiving Day, Mulder showed up early, bearing an actual pan of food.   
     “Whatcha got there Mulder?” Missy asked in a skeptical tone.   
     Mulder slid back the aluminum foil to reveal a pan of something with   
   noodles. ”What is that?” Missy and Dana asked in unison.   
     “My grandmother’s recipe” he offered, smiling. “Noodle Koogle.”  He looked   
   at the stunned faces of the two girls. “It’s a dessert.” He offered trying to   
   explain. “It’s a Jewish thing.” He said finally.   
     “Did you make this?” Maggie Scully asked in awe of the young man.   
     Mulder’s ears went red as he nodded. “I figured I couldn’t just show up here   
   without bringing anything, I don’t know if you’ve noticed this or not Mrs.   
   Scully, but I really do eat like a horse.”   
     “Fox,” Maggie teased, “No, you have the appetite of a bird.” Maggie tried to   
   suppress giggles.   
     “Yeah,” Dana mused. “A pterodactyl.”   
                 They had to admit, the sweet noodles was actually something   
   delicious, there was nothing for Mulder to take home, Bill and Charlie had   
   fought over the remains of the pan.  Mulder smiled at how they had enjoyed his   
   creation; there were many    
   things that Mulder had learned to cook over the years, mostly out of   
   necessity.  It was the kind of gathering that Mulder had promised himself he   
   would attend every holiday some day as an older and wiser man.   
      
     Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx   
      
                 Dana went to his basketball games every week; they had gone to   
   the first one right after he had healed from his accident.  He was so good on   
   the court, tall and sure of himself, Dana found herself wishing he could find   
   that same confidence    
   when he wasn’t competing with others.  He is his own worst competition, she   
   mused to herself as he waved to her from his position.   
                 Mulder and Scully walked home after that first game, he had the   
   look of someone with the weight of the world on his shoulders.  She knew there   
   was something bothering him, but she was afraid to ask, there were so many   
   things left unsaid    
   between them, so many unspoken secrets between kindred spirits.   
                 “What’s wrong Mulder?” she asked finally finding the words.   
      He stopped in front of a streetlight in the late fall night. “I don’t want   
   this to end Scully.” He answered wistfully.   
                 “What to end Mulder?” she asked drawing closer to him.  In the   
   last four months she had grown closer to this person than she had to anyone in   
   her life, and though only fourteen and a half, she knew she loved him.  She   
   could never tell him,    
   and never would either, he had only a few months before he left for college,   
   and though he had not mentioned to her where, Scully had the feeling it was   
   somewhere far off, and probably at the crux of his melancholy mood this night.   
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)