From: zapquilt_2000@yahoo.com   
      
     TITLE: No One Is To Blame   
     AUTHOR: ElleThom  Email addy/.too_spooky_4u@yahoo.com   
     CATEGORY: MSR, Pre-XF, AU…maybe   
     RATING: pg to nc-17   
     SPOILERS: Screw it its all up for grabs   
     SUMMARY: A what if with a twist   
     DISCLAIMER: I know.  You know.  I know, you know.  You know I know you   
   know.  You know I know you know…oh hell where was I again?   
     FEEDBACK:  Just call me Audrey II and feed me.   
     AUTHOR”S NOTES: Not song fic, though I do tend to drop them in liberally.    
   This is my third fic, but the first posted here.  I can take it, don’t hold   
   back.   
      
     I drove up to Hillside Manor   
     Sometime after two am   
     And I talked a little while about the year   
     I guess the winter makes you laugh a little slower   
     Makes you talk a little lower   
     About the things you could not show her   
     And it’s been a long December   
     And there’s reason to believe   
     Maybe this year will be better than the last   
     I can’t remember all the times I tried to tell myself to hold on   
     To these moments as they pass   
     And it’s one more day up in the canyon   
     And it’s one more night in Hollywood.   
     You think you might come to California?   
     Think you should.   
     -----Counting Crows   
      
     Mulder didn’t know what to do about her, he had let her in so far, and she   
   was still on the outside poking, trying to wiggle her way in further.  He   
   wasn’t keeping her out in some stupid macho attempt to be the big strong hero,   
   he knew he wasn’t that.     
   He didn’t keep the information about his life from her in some vain attempt to   
   save face; Mulder didn’t hold much of any self esteem in the first place.  He   
   wasn’t afraid of his family issues chasing her off; he knew that if she   
   decided to run, it would    
   be better for her overall.   
     He was simply trying to keep her safe.  The more she knew about his family,   
   the more danger she was in, and though he had very little knowledge of what   
   his father actually did for the State Department, he knew enough to be careful.   
     He had never expected to care for Dana Scully so deeply, nor her family.    
   The Scully clan had become something of an Achilles heel for him, he could   
   rarely tell them no, and even then he felt like he was letting the team down,   
   if he wasn’t so in love    
   with Dana Scully he would have wished to be born into that family.   
     Maybe marrying into it is good enough he mused, but that was something that   
   was a long way off, even though he knew where this was all heading, he just   
   had a few things to accomplish first.   
     Like finding Samantha.   
      
     Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx   
      
     They had loaded up the two cars, Christmas gifts and suitcases, Dana had   
   broke the news to her mother that Mulder would not be joining them, Mulder had   
   made himself a ghost for the last week, and no one but Dana knew why.   
     “Are you two fighting Dana?” Charlie had asked missing his Basketball buddy.   
   “Whatever it is just say yes, then he can come over again.” Things were so   
   simple at nine, and maybe things should have been simple at fourteen, but that   
   was for people who    
   weren’t in love with Fox Mulder.   
     “Charlie, we are not fighting, and it’s not that easy. “She sighed. ”Mulder   
   will be back after Christmas, ok?” she ruffled her little brother’s hair   
   before gathering together Mulder’s gifts from the family and heading off to   
   his house.   
     “Hi “ she smiled when he popped his head out of the front door as she came   
   around the corner.  He was watching for me, she mused to herself, feeling her   
   cheeks get red at the thought.   
     “Hi yourself.” He smiled back, hazel eyes twinkling at her.   
     “Where’ve you been Mulder?  The pong game hasn’t been used in a week, Mom’s   
   threatening to fling it out the window.” She smiled.   
     “Yeah, well I figured you guys needed space to get your things together to   
   go out to California.” He mumbled. “And maybe you needed a break from all of   
   the Mulder drama.”   
     “Mulder,” she shook her head. “Being in love with you should involve hazard   
   pay.” She laughed, and then realized what she had said out loud.   
     “Scully?” Mulder’s face so easy to read he could have been 74 point print.   
   “I hope that isn’t a joke, cause if it isn’t you don’t need to pull any of   
   those presents out of that bag...” he grabbed her shoulders, holding her   
   close. “I think I love you    
   too Dana Scully, “ he cried into her hair.   
     They stood on his steps, holding each other, neither one wanting to break   
   the magic.  She had accidentally told him she loved him, and as he held her   
   close, she realized none of it was an accident at all.  His hands searched her   
   face, and finding her    
   chin, he lifted her mouth enough for his lips to reach.   
     She was rendered breathless in his kiss, found colors swirling behind her   
   eyes as his mouth deepened its hold over hers as her hands went to his waist,   
   she felt her knees begin to give out, and just as she was sure she was going   
   to topple down the    
   stairs, he was there, holding onto her, like she knew he always would be.   
      
     Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx   
      
     California possesses a beauty and serenity that few people would associate   
   with the state, but in the low canyons and rolling hills there was a quiet   
   desolation that evoked feelings within her of freedom and longing.  She had   
   always enjoyed their trips    
   out here, she had even spent a summer out in Fresno with her aunt and uncle   
   one year, falling in love with the contradictory nature of the Californian   
   topography, canyons and ocean, valleys and hills urban scrawl and rural   
   sprawls.   
     This vacation was different however, this vacation was miserable, she missed   
   Mulder every day, they had agreed not to open their gifts to each other until   
   they could be together, and she was dying to see what was in the three boxes   
   of differing sizes.     
   She had only got him one gift, but she knew it would be perfect, she had taken   
   a lot of time to think of this gift; wanting to be sure it would send the   
   right message to him.  Not that the message needed to be inferred any longer.   
     He called her at six in the morning on Christmas Day, in truth he had held   
   out as long as he could, Mulder missed her so badly he thought he was going to   
   snap.  They talked for an hour, before everyone else awoke to begin the   
   festivities.  He promised    
   to call her again later, and Dana found herself wishing it was already later.   
     “You haven’t opened my presents yet have you?” he asked with a warning tone   
   in his voice. “Cause Santa has no room on his lap for naughty little girls…”   
   he chuckled   
     “Mulder!” she admonished. “No dirty talk on Christmas, not all of us are   
   godless heathens.”   
                 “Hey,” he pouted. “I miss you Dana.” She knew that he was   
   letting out real emotions when he threw out her first name, they had always   
   referred to each other on a last name basis, and though she found it   
   breathtakingly sexy to hear him use    
   her first name, she still could not bring herself to call him Fox.   
                 “I miss you too Mulder, I’ll be home in three days ok?” she   
   comforted him. “We’ll have our Christmas then, I promise.”   
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)