From: zapquilt_2000@yahoo.com   
      
     TITLE: No One Is To Blame (4/26)   
     AUTHOR: ElleThom  Email addy/.too_spooky_4u@yahoo.com   
     CATEGORY: MSR, Pre-XF, AU...maybe   
     RATING: pg to nc-17   
     SPOILERS: Screw it its all up for grabs   
     SUMMARY: A what if with a twist   
     DISCLAIMER: I know.  You know.  I know, you know.  You know I know you   
   know.  You know I know you know...oh hell where was I again?   
     FEEDBACK:  Just call me Audrey II and feed me.   
     AUTHOR"S NOTES: Not song fic, though I do tend to drop them in liberally.    
   This is my third fic, but the first posted here.  I can take it, don't hold   
   back.   
      
     I'm not sure of anyone   
     But I've got plans   
     I'm not asking for everything   
     But sure I could use a hand   
     Get a little anxious sometimes   
     You'll be gone and I'll be left behind   
     Get a little nervous sometimes   
     It'll be my cue and I'll forget my lines   
           Dashboard Confessional   
      
      
           She had come to his house every day, caring for him, and like a saint   
   who could read minds, she was gone again by six in the evening.  She usually   
   brought something home made from the kitchen of Maggie Scully, often heating   
   it up in the kitchen    
   without even turning on any lights.  She would bring it up to him in the small   
   tray she found in the kitchen, and make sure he finished the entire meal.  She   
   took care of him, doting on him and making sure he did not fall behind in any   
   of his classes.   
           They spent most of the time curled up together on his bed, she held   
   him in the silence, as they would listen to music, or watch TV.  His room was   
   a trove of hidden treasures; there were things there from all over.  Alien   
   lighters, models of cars    
   and planes, and even an h scale train set in the far corner.  She found   
   something interesting to ask him about every day.   
           "Mulder, why don't you ever talk about your parents?  I mean I have   
   been here every day for the last two weeks and I have never heard nor seen   
   them."   
           The sad face crossed over his features at her query, he had known   
   sooner or later she would want to know what all the mystery was about, but he   
   wasn't ready to divulge the hideous nature of his home life.  Then again, he   
   probably never would be. "   
   My father works for the State Department, and he is gone a lot, so I take care   
   of my mother." He wrote. "My mother takes a lot of medication and it makes her   
   kind of out of it." That was the nicest way he could explain his mother's pill   
   fetish, and he    
   somehow knew that Scully caught its true meaning.  She could always understand   
   him, even when he couldn't understand himself.   
           "So, your parents are still together?" she asked.   
           "In a sense, but I don't think they have had a marriage for years   
   now." The tone in his eyes screamed back off, but Dana plodded on.   
           "Because of Sam?"   
           "Sort of, there are other things too Scully." Please, his eyes begged,   
   Please let it go.   
           She did, for now.   
           The day he met her at the door, she knew he could talk, the words,   
   though unspoken, hung around his mouth just waiting for her to pull them out   
   of the air.   
           "Thank you," he smiled in a hoarse raspy voice.   
           Dana took him home that day, Maggie and Charlie had missed him, and   
   since the bruises on his face had healed, he would not cause such a fuss   
   around the Scully household.  They fell right back into the routine,   
   afternoons and weekends.   
           Thanksgiving, the Scully family had wanted to invite the Mulders over   
   for the holiday. "I don't think that is such a good idea Scully." He mentioned   
   to Scully on the walk to school one crisp fall day. "I don't really think my   
   mom even knows what    
   day it is," he admitted.   
           "Oh Mulder," she sighed. "I am sorry." They decided a little white lie   
   to Maggie would suffice, they would tell them that his parents were going out   
   of town for the week, and that he would be glad to spend the holiday there   
   with them.   
           It was the first time he remembered looking forward to a holiday since   
   Sam had disappeared, he knew he would have to tell Scully where he was going   
   for college, he knew the longer he put it off, the worse it would be when he   
   finally told her.     
   Somehow, he could not bring himself to ruin her that way, she was everything   
   to him.   
           Thanksgiving Day, Mulder showed up early, bearing an actual pan of   
   food.   
           "Whatcha got there Mulder?" Missy asked in a skeptical tone.   
           Mulder slid back the aluminum foil to reveal a pan of something with   
   noodles. "What is that?" Missy and Dana asked in unison.   
           "My grandmother's recipe" he offered, smiling. "Noodle Koogle."  He   
   looked at the stunned faces of the two girls. "It's a dessert." He offered   
   trying to explain. "It's a Jewish thing." He said finally.   
           "Did you make this?" Maggie Scully asked in awe of the young man.   
           Mulder's ears went red as he nodded. "I figured I couldn't just show   
   up here without bringing anything, I don't know if you've noticed this or not   
   Mrs. Scully, but I really do eat like a horse."   
           "Fox," Maggie teased, "No, you have the appetite of a bird." Maggie   
   tried to suppress giggles.   
           "Yeah," Dana mused. "A pterodactyl."   
           They had to admit, the sweet noodles was actually something delicious,   
   there was nothing for Mulder to take home, Bill and Charlie had fought over   
   the remains of the pan.  Mulder smiled at how they had enjoyed his creation;   
   there were many things    
   that Mulder had learned to cook over the years, mostly out of necessity.  It   
   was the kind of gathering that Mulder had promised himself he would attend   
   every holiday some day as an older and wiser man.   
      
     Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx   
      
           Dana went to his basketball games every week; they had gone to the   
   first one right after he had healed from his accident.  He was so good on the   
   court, tall and sure of himself, Dana found herself wishing he could find that   
   same confidence when    
   he wasn't competing with others.  He is his own worst competition, she mused   
   to herself as he waved to her from his position.   
           Mulder and Scully walked home after that first game, he had the look   
   of someone with the weight of the world on his shoulders.  She knew there was   
   something bothering him, but she was afraid to ask, there were so many things   
   left unsaid between    
   them, so many unspoken secrets between kindred spirits.   
           "What's wrong Mulder?" she asked finally finding the words.   
            He stopped in front of a streetlight in the late fall night. "I don't   
   want this to end Scully." He answered wistfully.   
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)