From: zapquilt_2000@yahoo.com   
      
    TITLE: No One Is To Blame 5/26   
   AUTHOR: ElleThom  Email   
   addy/.too_spooky_4u@yahoo.com   
   CATEGORY: MSR, Pre-XF, AU…maybe   
   RATING: pg to nc-17   
   SPOILERS: Screw it its all up for grabs   
   SUMMARY: A what if with a twist   
   DISCLAIMER: I know.  You know.  I know, you know.   
    You know I know you know.  You know I know you   
   know…oh hell where was I again?   
   FEEDBACK:  Just call me Audrey II and feed me.   
   AUTHOR”S NOTES: Not song fic, though I do tend to   
   drop them in liberally.  This is my third fic,   
   but the first posted here.  I can take it, don’t   
   hold back.   
      
      I drove up to Hillside Manor   
      Sometime after two am   
      And I talked a little while about the     year   
      I guess the winter makes   
      you laugh a little slower   
      Makes you talk a little lower   
      About the things you could not show her   
      And it's been a long December   
      And there's reason to believe   
      Maybe this year will be   
      better than the last   
      I can't remember all the times   
      I tried to tell myself to hold on   
      To these moments as they pass   
      And it's one more day up in the canyon   
      And it's one more night in Hollywood.   
      You think you might come to California?   
         Think you should.   
         -----Counting Crows   
      
         Mulder didn't know what to do about her, he   
   had let her in so far, and she was still on the   
   outside poking, trying to wiggle her way in   
   further.  He wasn't keeping her out in some   
   stupid macho attempt to be the big strong hero,   
   he knew he wasn't that.  He didn't keep the   
   information about his life from her in some vain   
   attempt to save face; Mulder didn't hold much of   
   any self esteem in the first place.  He wasn't   
   afraid of his family issues chasing her off; he   
   knew that if she decided to run, it would be   
   better for her overall.   
         He was simply trying to keep her safe.  The   
   more she knew about his family, the more danger   
   she was in, and though he had very little   
   knowledge of what his father actually did for the   
   State Department, he knew enough to be careful.   
         He had never expected to care for Dana   
   Scully so deeply, nor her family.  The Scully   
   clan had become something of an Achilles heel for   
   him, he could rarely tell them no, and even then   
   he felt like he was letting the team down, if he   
   wasn't so in love with Dana Scully he would have   
   wished to be born into that family.   
         Maybe marrying into it is good enough he   
   mused, but that was something that was a long way   
   off, even though he knew where this was all   
   heading, he just had a few things to accomplish   
   first.   
         Like finding Samantha.   
      
         Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx   
      
         They had loaded up the two cars, Christmas   
   gifts and suitcases, Dana had broke the news to   
   her mother that Mulder would not be joining them,   
   Mulder had made himself a ghost for the last   
   week, and no one but Dana knew why.   
         "Are you two fighting Dana?" Charlie had   
   asked missing his Basketball buddy. "Whatever it   
   is just say yes, then he can come over again."   
   Things were so simple at nine, and maybe things   
   should have been simple at fourteen, but that was   
   for people who weren't in love with Fox Mulder.   
         "Charlie, we are not fighting, and it's not   
   that easy. "She sighed. "Mulder will be back   
   after Christmas, ok?" she ruffled her little   
   brother's hair before gathering together Mulder's   
   gifts from the family and heading off to his   
   house.   
         "Hi " she smiled when he popped his head   
   out of the front door as she came around the   
   corner.  He was watching for me, she mused to   
   herself, feeling her cheeks get red at the   
   thought.   
         "Hi yourself." He smiled back, hazel eyes   
   twinkling at her.   
         "Where've you been Mulder?  The pong game   
   hasn't been used in a week, Mom's threatening to   
   fling it out the window." She smiled.   
         "Yeah, well I figured you guys needed space   
   to get your things together to go out to   
   California." He mumbled. "And maybe you needed a   
   break from all of the Mulder drama."   
         "Mulder," she shook her head. "Being in   
   love with you should involve hazard pay." She   
   laughed, and then realized what she had said out   
   loud.   
         "Scully?" Mulder's face so easy to read he   
   could have been 74 point print. "I hope that   
   isn't a joke, cause if it isn't you don't need to   
   pull any of those presents out of that bag..." he   
   grabbed her shoulders, holding her close. "I   
   think I love you too Dana Scully, " he cried into   
   her hair.   
         They stood on his steps, holding each   
   other, neither one wanting to break the magic.   
   She had accidentally told him she loved him, and   
   as he held her close, she realized none of it was   
   an accident at all.  His hands searched her face,   
   and finding her chin, he lifted her mouth enough   
   for his lips to reach.   
         She was rendered breathless in his kiss,   
   found colors swirling behind her eyes as his   
   mouth deepened its hold over hers as her hands   
   went to his waist, she felt her knees begin to   
   give out, and just as she was sure she was going   
   to topple down the stairs, he was there, holding   
   onto her, like she knew he always would be.   
      
         Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx   
      
         California possesses a beauty and serenity   
   that few people would associate with the state,   
   but in the low canyons and rolling hills there   
   was a quiet desolation that evoked feelings   
   within her of freedom and longing.  She had   
   always enjoyed their trips out here, she had even   
   spent a summer out in Fresno with her aunt and   
   uncle one year, falling in love with the   
   contradictory nature of the Californian   
   topography, canyons and ocean, valleys and hills   
   urban scrawl and rural sprawls.   
         This vacation was different however, this   
   vacation was miserable, she missed Mulder every   
   day, they had agreed not to open their gifts to   
   each other until they could be together, and she   
   was dying to see what was in the three boxes of   
   differing sizes.  She had only got him one gift,   
   but she knew it would be perfect, she had taken a   
   lot of time to think of this gift; wanting to be   
   sure it would send the right message to him.  Not   
   that the message needed to be inferred any   
   longer.   
         He called her at six in the morning on   
   Christmas Day, in truth he had held out as long   
   as he could, Mulder missed her so badly he   
   thought he was going to snap.  They talked for an   
   hour, before everyone else awoke to begin the   
   festivities.  He promised to call her again   
   later, and Dana found herself wishing it was   
   already later.   
         "You haven't opened my presents yet have   
   you?" he asked with a warning tone in his voice.   
   "Cause Santa has no room on his lap for naughty   
   little girls..." he chuckled   
         "Mulder!" she admonished. "No dirty talk on   
   Christmas, not all of us are godless heathens."   
   	"Hey," he pouted. "I miss you Dana." She knew   
   that he was letting out real emotions when he   
   threw out her first name, they had always   
   referred to each other on a last name basis, and   
   though she found it breathtakingly sexy to hear   
   him use her first name, she still could not bring   
   herself to call him Fox.   
   	"I miss you too Mulder, I'll be home in three   
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)