From: davideml@bellsouth.net   
      
   3-09    Warrior . . . Priestess . . . Tramp   
      
      
      
   First air date was January 12, 1998,   
      
   The episode stars out in a village with two soldiers fighting each other. Xena   
   appears to try to   
   get them to stop. The leader of the soldiers, Dexon, appears and Xena appeals   
   to him to give up his   
   warrior ways. She even disarms herself. His men grab her and tie her to a pole   
   atop a pile of   
   wood - they are going to burn her.   
      
   Gabrielle shows up and since Xena won't help herself, she figures it's Xena   
   way to let her take   
   more responsibility. Gabrielle manages to get a fat man to jump onto board   
   wedged under a barrel of   
   water and the barrel flies through the air and puts out the fire. Gabrielle   
   gathers up Xena's armor   
   and weapons, cuts her loose and they run away.   
      
   Gabrielle then realizes it isn't Xena and thinks Callisto has taken over   
   Xena's body. Then she   
   thinks it's Princess Diana, then Meg. She introduces herself as Leah, head   
   priestess of the Temple   
   of Hestia. Gabrielle finds the real Xena honing her sword, and after Xena   
   trying to guess who the   
   Xena clone is, Gabrielle introduces her to Leah-dressed-as-Xena.   
      
   {In order to TRY to keep things straight I'm going to use the following   
   abbreviations - Leah   
   dressed as Xena will be LdaX. Xena dressed as Leah will be XdaL. Meg dressed   
   as Leah will be MdaL,   
   etc. etc.}   
      
   LdaX said she found the Xena warrior costume in her quarters (from Hestia?).   
   She is horrified that   
   neither Gabrielle nor Xena are virgins.   
      
   Xena surmises someone is using Leah's blind devotion to do her harm.   
      
   The three of them go to the Temple of Hestia in hooded robes, but are refused   
   entry. They see   
   another Leah about to start a prayer. It's obvious to Xena and Gabrielle it's   
   Meg, who now owns a   
   tavern / bordello in the town. Xena has Gabrielle take Leah to the tavern to   
   pose as Meg while she   
   talks to an old friend (Meg).   
      
   At first Meg thinks Leah has come back but when Xena catches her punch, she   
   knows who it is.   
      
   On the way to the tavern Leah is now dressed as Meg. Leah thinks Gabrielle is   
   misguided but would   
   make an excellent Hestian.   
      
   Meg tells Xena that Balius came to her because Leah disappeared and needs her   
   to fill in at a   
   ceremony that night, and she thinks she's doing a good deed. Xena finds a   
   dress like Meg is wearing   
   and decides to take MdaL's place.   
      
   In the tavern LdaM is told by Gabrielle to just sit at the bar while she   
   leaves to do something.   
   Joxer comes in and all the harlots begin singing a bawdy Joxer song along with   
   Joxer.   
      
      
      
   Joxer the Mighty,   
      
   Master of virility,   
      
   Every woman wants him,   
      
   He's so sexy it's a sin,   
      
      
      
   If you want a special tryst,   
      
   He's the man you can't resist,   
      
   By every measure he's a prize!   
      
   *Joxer:  Just check out my shoe size!   
      
   Just check out his shoe size!   
      
   *Joxer:  Ha-Ha!   
      
   He's Joxer, Joxer the Mighty!   
      
   *Joxer:  Ha-Ha!   
      
      
      
   Joxer the Mighty,   
      
   Captain of debauchery.   
      
   Never seems to get enough   
      
   Of our tantalizing stuff.   
      
      
      
   If you need some company,   
      
   With Joxer there's a guarantee,   
      
   *Joxer:  Of the highest potency!   
      
   *Wench:  Heck, I'd even work for free!   
      
   Lea:  Take your filthy hands off me!!!   
      
   *Joxer:  Hmm?   
      
   He's-- Joxer, Joxer the Mighty!   
      
      
      
    After the song, Joxer sees Gabrielle and thinks she's working there now (as   
   one of the harlots).   
   Gabrielle tells him otherwise. And tells him that "Meg" is really LdaM - a meg   
   look-alike. He's   
   ashamed he defiled a priestess.   
      
   Balius comes across XdaL just as she finds a gold cross that isn't Hestian.   
   She knows he isn't a   
   Hestian priest. One of Balius' men tells him the real Meg is at the altar   
   drinking the wine. She   
   tells him she was comforting a friend. He asks if the friend is Xena. She   
   confesses and says she is   
   checking out the temple  and the real Leah is posing as her at her tavern.   
      
   Balius sends men to look for and kill Xena and to the tavern to kill Leah.   
      
   One of the virgins tells XdaL it is time for declarations (confession). XdaL   
   sits behind a screen   
   as she confesses. XdaL stops an assassin, puts the pinch on him, and discovers   
   men are on the way   
   to Meg's tavern, and Balius is going to kill the virgins at the ceremony.   
      
   Leah has  found clothes exactly like the ones XdaL and MdaL are wearing and   
   puts them on. While   
   looking for Gabrielle she opens three doors with the harlots and their   
   customers inside. She is   
   horrified again. Gabrielle finds her and says what better place for her to be   
   to do some good.   
      
   Leah has the harlots singing in a choir until the Hestian temple guards are   
   coming and they get   
   ready to service them.   
      
   Joxer finds out that Meg has been discovered by Balius and goes to the temple   
   to save her.   
      
   MdaL is going to face down two guards to save XdaL but XdaL beats them up.   
   Gabrielle and Leah go   
   into the room. Gabrielle manages to figure out which Leah is really Meg, Xena   
   and Leah.   
      
   Joxer is captured at the and thrown into the dungeon.   
      
   XdaL, Gabrielle and  Leah go back to the temple. Just then Balius shows up and   
   tells MdaL she is   
   going to help him kill the Hestian virgins.   
      
   Leah is captured and thrown into the dungeon with Joxer. But it's really XdaL   
   and they escape.   
      
   MdaL and Balius are ready for the ceremony. Small glasses of poison are passed   
   out to the virgins.   
   Balius has MdaL read from the scroll, the virgins drink the poison and all   
   fall to the floor.   
   Balius tells the people watching that Hestia has killed her followers and his   
   religion, Deilianism,   
   is the only true one. MdaL says something in the ancient Hestian language and   
   the virgins arise and   
   spit the poison at Balius. It was really Leah, and she told them not to   
   swallow.   
      
   Xena, in her warrior garb, Gabrielle, MdaL, and Joxer come in and everyone   
   fights.   
      
   Afterward, Leah expresses her gratitude to everyone, and that she misjudged   
   them. And that she   
   still thinks Gabrielle would make a great virgin.   
      
   .........   
      
   After the drama of the past few episodes, a comedy. And another opportunity   
   for Lucy to once again   
   play three separate characters. And it goes without saying that she an   
   excellent job. (When is   
   Gabrielle going to get her chance?)   
      
   Of course there were plot holes you could drive a chariot through, but who   
   cares, it was a fun   
   episode.   
      
   Some of the great lines -   
      
   *When Xena and Gabrielle were first with LdaX and she finds out they're not   
   virgins -   
      
   Leah - "Well-- looks like someone's caught a speeding chariot straight for   
   Tartarus."   
      
   *And on the road to Meg's tavern, Leah gives her one of two rules of a chaste   
   life - know thyself.   
   And Gabrielle answers, " "Believe me.  If I have to go the rest of my life   
   without   
      
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)