From: davideml@bellsouth.net   
      
   3-18  Fins, Femmes, and Gems   
      
      
      
             First  air date Apr, 13, 1998.   
      
             The episode starts out with Aphrodite appearing in one of her   
   temples. After dancing a   
   bit she goes to see what offerings have been made to her. She's not   
   overwhelmed by them, and is   
   particularly perturbed with the fish, which she hates.   
      
             Three dirty soldier-looking men come in with the Mystic Diamond   
   (which keeps the North   
   Star shining) that they have stolen for her. She tells them to take the    
   diamond to the priest in   
   Parnassus, who is going to shoot it into the heavens for her constellation.   
   They know that Xena and   
   Gabrielle are following them.  Aphrodite conjures up a perfume named   
   Obsession. She says that   
   whatever they are focused on they will be obsessed with and will forget about   
   getting the diamond   
   back.   
      
             Xena, Gabrielle and Joxer come in and start looking for the diamond.   
   Joxer is looking at   
   a mural about Attis the Ape Man. Aphrodite, who is invisible to them, blows   
   perfume into his face   
   and he begins to change into Attis. Gabrielle is looking into a mirror and   
   makes the comment that   
   Aphrodite must be full of herself,  Aphrodite blows the perfume into her face   
   and Gabrielle becomes   
   obsessed with her looks. Xena is holding a fish, says there is no telling what   
   stupid thing   
   Aphrodite will want done with the diamond and Aphrodite gives her a double   
   dose and Xena decides   
   they all need to go fishing.   
      
             Xena takes them to a lake that she and Lyceus used to fish in when   
   they were younger.   
   Xena uses her Chakram to cause an avalanche so the men will have to detour to   
   the lake to get to   
   Parnassus. Xena goes swimming and comes up with her hands in fishes' mouths.   
   Gabrielle unlaces her   
   BGSB to go swimming too, but changes her mind.   
      
    Gabrielle sees her reflection and falls into the water and almost drowns when   
   she tries to kiss   
   herself. Xena dives back in and saves her.   
      
             Xena makes a flying parchment to try to catch Solaris, a fish she   
   and Lyceus tried to   
   catch.   
      
             Joxer is fully Attis the (naked except for his socks) Ape Man and   
   swings down on a vine   
   to pick up Gabrielle and swings away with her. She makes him put on a pink   
   nightgown she just   
   HAPPENED to have in a leather pouch. Xena swings on a vine and gets Gabrielle   
   back. Xena describes   
   how perfect the diamond is and talks Gabrielle into going to take it away from   
   the men. Then Xena   
   talks Attis into going after Gabrielle.   
      
             The men chase Attis and Gabrielle back to Xena, who beats them up.   
      
             Xena sets up some kind of fishing rig with the diamond as bait. When   
   the fish takes the   
   diamond, it and the diamond are hurled back into the heavens. Xena says she   
   dedicates the fish to   
   Lyceus and then the spell is broken. When she asks Gabrielle what she dislikes   
   about herself,   
   Gabrielle says she doesn't like to be known as just a sidekick, and her spell   
   is broken. Xena   
   swears to give her more credit for the things she does. That night as they bed   
   down, they are   
   looking at the North Star back where it belongs. Joxer is still the monkey   
   man. Xena says she will   
   fix him in the morning.   
      
   ..........   
      
             A comedy after the drama of the pervious episode - 'Remember   
   Nothing.' A lot of   
   silliness, particularly with Joxer/Attis, but lots of great lines from Xena   
   and Gabrielle. And with   
   so much going on, I didn't even try for a complete synopsis.   
      
             With an episode like this one, it's hard to find something to   
   complain about since who   
   knows what was done on purpose and what wasn't?  Gabrielle's pink nightgown,   
   for instance.   
      
             So, some of the better lines ---   
      
             ** Xena, after being enchanted with the perfume:   "I've got it.  I   
   know what to do.  The   
   North Star is on the verge of extinction.  The fate of the whole world lies in   
   our hands.  We've   
   got no choice.  We're going fishing!"   
      
             ** Gabrielle after seeing Attis eat bugs:  "That is so disgusting.    
   Xena-- he's been   
   acting very strange.  I don't think we should be seen in public with him."   
      
             ** Of course Gabrielle's song about herself (sung to the tune of the   
   Beverly Hillbillies   
   theme):   
      
                 "Well, listen to my story about Gabrielle--   
      
       A cute little gal that's lookin' really swell.   
      
       Perfect hair, such a lovely lass--   
      
                    Nice round breasts and a firm young-"   
      
   ** Gabrielle when she decides not to undress in front of Attis: "No, I'm sorry   
   Joxer-- I take off   
   my clothes-- I could kill you.  Beauty can do that."   
      
   ** Gabrielle to Xena when she cut off a lock of Gabrielle's hair: "A bent   
   nail?  You cut my hair to   
   put a wig on a bent nail?"   
      
   **Xena after Attis swings off with Gabrielle: "Gabrielle?!  Monkey-man, you   
   bring her back!  You   
   know, you two are beginning to irritate me with these obsessions of yours!   
   Fish don't just catch   
   themselves!"   
      
             And a few other things I though were good / amusing / or not -   
      
             Gabrielle looking at the carvings on the wall of men and women   
   (doing it), telling Xena   
   it wasn't humanly possible, and Xena saying it was (been there, done that?)   
      
   More than once I thought Xena was going to fall out of her under-armor garment!   
      
             Gabrielle saying one thing to Joxer, and Attis hearing Gabrielle the   
   Ape Woman saying she   
   wanted  him for Zug-zug.   
      
             Didn't need naked Attis.   
      
             Gabrielle using bug juice to color her lips.   
      
             Well, I could probably go on for another couple of pages. It's   
   obvious the writers were   
   having a lot of fun with this one, and no doubt so were Lucy, Reneé, and Ted.   
      
             And 8 out of 10.   
      
   ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::   
      
   3-17  Fins, Femmes and Gems  8   
      
   3-17 Forget Me Not .            8   
      
   3-16 When In Rome .           8   
      
   3-15  King Con                        6   
      
   3-14  Forgiven                         8   
      
   3-13 One Against An Army      9.5   
      
   3-12 The Bitter Suite                9.5   
      
   3-11 Maternal Instincts             9.5   
      
   3-10  The Quill is Mightier.    8   
      
   3-09  Warrior-Priestess-Tramp  8   
      
   3-08  King of Assassins            6.5   
      
   3-07  The Debt II                      9   
      
   3-06  The Debt                         9.5   
      
   3-05  Gabrielle's Hope              9   
      
   3-04  The Deliverer                   9   
      
   3-03  The Dirty Half Dozen      8   
      
   3-02  Been There, Done That    9   
      
   3-01  The Furies                       6.5   
      
   Average score so far    ----       8.8   
      
   --   
   David   
   http://geocities.com/daviderl31/xena.htm   
   http://geocities.com/daviderl31/GabPics.htm   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)