From: daviderl666@gmail.com   
      
   3-09    Warrior . . . Priestess . . . Tramp   
      
   First air date was January 12, 1998   
      
   The episode stars out in a village with two soldiers fighting each other. Xena   
   appears to try to get them to stop. The leader of the soldiers, Dexon, appears   
   and Xena appeals to him to give up his warrior ways. She even disarms herself.   
   His men grab her    
   and tie her to a pole atop a pile of wood - they are going to burn her.    
      
   Gabrielle shows up and since Xena won't help herself, she figures it's Xena   
   way to let her take more responsibility. Gabrielle manages to get a fat man to   
   jump onto board wedged under a barrel of water and the barrel flies through   
   the air and puts out    
   the fire. Gabrielle gathers up Xena's armor and weapons, cuts her loose and   
   they run away.    
      
   Gabrielle then realizes it isn't Xena and thinks Callisto has taken over   
   Xena's body. Then she thinks it's Princess Diana, then Meg. She introduces   
   herself as Leah, head priestess of the Temple of Hestia. Gabrielle finds the   
   real Xena honing her sword,    
   and after Xena trying to guess who the Xena clone is, Gabrielle introduces her   
   to Leah-dressed-as-Xena.    
      
   {In order to TRY to keep things straight I'm going to use the following   
   abbreviations - Leah dressed as Xena will be LdaX. Xena dressed as Leah will   
   be XdaL. Meg dressed as Leah will be MdaL, etc. etc.}    
      
   LdaX said she found the Xena warrior costume in her quarters (from Hestia?).   
   She is horrified that neither Gabrielle nor Xena are virgins.    
      
   Xena surmises someone is using Leah's blind devotion to do her harm.    
      
   The three of them go to the Temple of Hestia in hooded robes, but are refused   
   entry. They see another Leah about to start a prayer. It's obvious to Xena and   
   Gabrielle it's Meg, who now owns a tavern / bordello in the town. Xena has   
   Gabrielle take Leah to    
   the tavern to pose as Meg while she talks to an old friend (Meg).    
      
   At first Meg thinks Leah has come back but when Xena catches her punch, she   
   knows who it is.    
      
   On the way to the tavern Leah is now dressed as Meg. Leah thinks Gabrielle is   
   misguided but would make an excellent Hestian.    
      
   Meg tells Xena that Balius came to her because Leah disappeared and needs her   
   to fill in at a ceremony that night, and she thinks she's doing a good deed.   
   Xena finds a dress like Meg is wearing and decides to take MdaL's place.    
      
   In the tavern LdaM is told by Gabrielle to just sit at the bar while she   
   leaves to do something. Joxer comes in and all the harlots begin singing a   
   bawdy Joxer song along with Joxer.    
      
   Joxer the Mighty,    
   Master of virility,    
   Every woman wants him,    
   He's so sexy it's a sin,    
   If you want a special tryst,    
   He's the man you can't resist,    
   By every measure he's a prize!    
       *Joxer:  Just check out my shoe size!    
   Just check out his shoe size!    
       *Joxer:  Ha-Ha!    
   He's Joxer, Joxer the Mighty!    
       *Joxer:  Ha-Ha!    
   Joxer the Mighty,    
   Captain of debauchery.    
   Never seems to get enough    
   Of our tantalizing stuff.    
   If you need some company,    
   With Joxer there's a guarantee,    
       *Joxer:  Of the highest potency!    
       *Wench:  Heck, I'd even work for free!    
       *Leah:  Take your filthy hands off me!!!    
       *Joxer:  Hmm?    
   He's-- Joxer, Joxer the Mighty!    
       
   After the song, Joxer sees Gabrielle and thinks she's working there now (as   
   one of the harlots). Gabrielle tells him otherwise. And tells him that "Meg"   
   is really LdaM - a meg look-alike. He's ashamed he defiled a priestess.    
      
   Balius comes across XdaL just as she finds a gold cross that isn't Hestian.   
   She knows he isn't a Hestian priest. One of Balius' men tells him the real Meg   
   is at the altar drinking the wine. She tells him she was comforting a friend.   
   He asks if the friend    
   is Xena. She confesses and says she is checking out the temple  and the real   
   Leah is posing as her at her tavern.    
      
   Balius sends men to look for and kill Xena and to the tavern to kill Leah.    
      
   One of the virgins tells XdaL it is time for declarations (confession). XdaL   
   sits behind a screen as she confesses. XdaL stops an assassin, puts the pinch   
   on him, and discovers men are on the way to Meg's tavern, and Balius is going   
   to kill the virgins    
   at the ceremony.    
      
   Leah has  found clothes exactly like the ones XdaL and MdaL are wearing and   
   puts them on. While looking for Gabrielle she opens three doors with the   
   harlots and their customers inside. She is horrified again. Gabrielle finds   
   her and says what better    
   place for her to be to do some good.    
      
   Leah has the harlots singing in a choir until the Hestian temple guards are   
   coming and they get ready to service them.    
      
   Joxer finds out that Meg has been discovered by Balius and goes to the temple   
   to save her.    
      
   MdaL is going to face down two guards to save XdaL but XdaL beats them up.   
   Gabrielle and Leah go into the room. Gabrielle manages to figure out which   
   Leah is really Meg, Xena and Leah.    
      
   Joxer is captured at the and thrown into the dungeon.    
      
   XdaL, Gabrielle and  Leah go back to the temple. Just then Balius shows up   
   and tells MdaL she is going to help him kill the Hestian virgins.    
      
   Leah is captured and thrown into the dungeon with Joxer. But it's really XdaL   
   and they escape.    
      
   MdaL and Balius are ready for the ceremony. Small glasses of poison are passed   
   out to the virgins. Balius has MdaL read from the scroll, the virgins drink   
   the poison and all fall to the floor. Balius tells the people watching that   
   Hestia has killed her    
   followers and his religion, Deilianism, is the only true one. MdaL says   
   something in the ancient Hestian language and the virgins arise and spit the   
   poison at Balius. It was really Leah, and she told them not to swallow.    
      
   Xena, in her warrior garb, Gabrielle, MdaL, and Joxer come in and everyone   
   fights.    
      
   Afterward, Leah expresses her gratitude to everyone, and that she misjudged   
   them. And that she still thinks Gabrielle would make a great virgin.    
      
   .........    
      
   After the drama of the past few episodes, a comedy. And another opportunity   
   for Lucy to once again play three separate characters. And it goes without   
   saying that she an excellent job. (When is Gabrielle going to get her chance?)    
   Of course there were plot holes you could drive a chariot through, but who   
   cares, it was a fun episode.    
      
   Some of the great lines -    
      
       *When Xena and Gabrielle were first with LdaX and she finds out they're   
   not virgins -    
      Leah - "Well-- looks like someone's caught a speeding chariot straight for   
   Tartarus."    
      
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)