From: daviderl31@yahoo.com   
      
   3-18  Fins, Femmes, and Gems   
      
       First  air date Apr, 13, 1998.   
      
       The episode starts out with Aphrodite appearing in one of her temples.   
   After dancing a bit she goes to see what offerings have been made to her.   
   She's not overwhelmed by them, and is particularly perturbed with the fish,   
   which she hates.   
      
       Three dirty soldier-looking men come in with the Mystic Diamond (which   
   keeps the North Star shining) that they have stolen for her. She tells them   
   to take the  diamond to the priest in Parnassus, who is going to shoot it   
   into the heavens for her constellation. They know that Xena and Gabrielle   
   are following them.  Aphrodite conjures up a perfume named Obsession. She   
   says that whatever they are focused on they will be obsessed with and will   
   forget about getting the diamond back.   
      
       Xena, Gabrielle and Joxer come in and start looking for the diamond.   
   Joxer is looking at a mural about Attis the Ape Man. Aphrodite, who is   
   invisible to them, blows perfume into his face and he begins to change into   
   Attis.   
      
      Gabrielle is looking into a mirror and makes the comment that Aphrodite   
   must be full of herself,  Aphrodite blows the perfume into her face and   
   Gabrielle becomes obsessed with her looks.   
      
      Xena is holding a fish, says there is no telling what stupid thing   
   Aphrodite will want done with the diamond and Aphrodite gives her a double   
   dose and Xena decides they all need to go fishing.   
      
       Xena takes them to a lake that she and Lyceus used to fish in when they   
   were younger. Xena uses her Chakram to cause an avalanche so the men will   
   have to detour to the lake to get to Parnassus. Xena goes swimming and comes   
   up with her hands in fishes' mouths. Gabrielle unlaces her BGSB to go   
   swimming too, but changes her mind.   
      
   Gabrielle sees her reflection and falls into the water and almost drowns   
   when she tries to kiss herself. Xena dives back in and saves her.   
      
       Xena makes a flying parchment to try to catch Solaris, a fish she and   
   Lyceus tried to catch.   
      
       Joxer is fully Attis the (naked except for his socks) Ape Man and swings   
   down on a vine to pick up Gabrielle and swings away with her. She makes him   
   put on a pink nightgown she just HAPPENED to have in a leather pouch. Xena   
   swings on a vine and gets Gabrielle back. Xena describes how perfect the   
   diamond is and talks Gabrielle into going to take it away from the men. Then   
   Xena talks Attis into going after Gabrielle.   
      
       The men chase Attis and Gabrielle back to Xena, who beats them up.   
      
       Xena sets up some kind of fishing rig with the diamond as bait. When the   
   fish takes the diamond, it and the diamond are hurled back into the heavens.   
   Xena says she dedicates the fish to Lyceus and then the spell is broken.   
      
     When she asks Gabrielle what she dislikes about herself, Gabrielle says   
   she doesn't like to be known as just a sidekick, and her spell is broken.   
   Xena swears to give her more credit for the things she does. That night as   
   they bed down, they are looking at the North Star back where it belongs.   
   Joxer is still the monkey man. Xena says she will fix him in the morning.   
      
   ……………………….   
      
       Another comedy after the drama of the pervious episode – 'Remember   
   Nothing.' A lot of silliness, particularly with Joxer/Attis, but lots of   
   great lines from Xena and Gabrielle. And with so much going on, I didn't   
   even try for a complete synopsis.   
      
       With an episode like this one, it's hard to find something to complain   
   about since who knows what was done on purpose and what wasn't?   
      
       So, some of the better lines ---   
      
       ** Xena, after being enchanted with the perfume:   "I’ve got it.  I know   
   what to do.  The North Star is on the verge of extinction.  The fate of the   
   whole world lies in our hands.  We’ve got no choice.  We’re going fishing!"   
      
       ** Gabrielle after seeing Attis eat bugs:  "That is so disgusting.   
   Xena-- he’s been acting very   
   strange.  I don’t think we should be seen in public with him."   
      
       ** Of course Gabrielle's song about herself (sung to the tune of the   
   Beverly Hillbillies theme):   
           "Well, listen to my story about Gabrielle--   
             A cute little gal that’s lookin’ really swell.   
            Perfect hair, such a lovely lass--   
              Nice round breasts and a firm young—"   
      
     ** Gabrielle when she decides not to undress in front of Attis: "No, I’m   
   sorry Joxer- I take off    my clothes-- I could kill you.  Beauty can do   
   that."   
      
      ** Gabrielle to Xena when she cut off a lock of Gabrielle's hair: “A bent   
   nail?  You cut my hair to put a wig on a bent nail?”   
      
     **Xena after Attis swings off with Gabrielle: "Gabrielle?!  Monkey-man,   
   you bring her back!  You know, you two are beginning to irritate me with   
   these obsessions of yours! Fish don’t just catch themselves!”   
      
     And a few other things I though were good / amusing / or not –   
      
       Gabrielle looking at the carvings on the wall of men and women (doing   
   it), telling Xena it wasn't humanly possible, and Xena saying it was (been   
   there, done that?)   
      
   More than once I thought Xena was going to fall out of her under-leather   
   garment!   
      
       Gabrielle saying one thing to Joxer, and Attis hearing Gabrielle the Ape   
   Woman saying she wanted  him for Zug-zug.   
      
       Didn't need naked Attis.   
      
       Gabrielle using bug juice to color her lips.   
      
       Well, I could probably go on for another couple of pages. It's obvious   
   the writers were having a lot of fun with this one, and no doubt so were   
   Lucy, Reneé, and Ted.   
      
       And 8 out of 10.   
   ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::   
   3-17  Fins, Femmes and Gems  8   
   3-17 Forget Me Not …            8   
   3-16 When In Rome …           8   
   3-15  King Con                        6   
   3-14  Forgiven                         8   
   3-13 One Against An Army      9.5   
   3-12 The Bitter Suite                9.5   
   3-11 Maternal Instincts             9.5   
   3-10  The Quill is Mightier…    8   
   3-09  Warrior-Priestess-Tramp  8   
   3-08  King of Assassins            6.5   
   3-07  The Debt II                      9   
   3-06  The Debt                         9.5   
   3-05  Gabrielle's Hope             9   
   3-04  The Deliverer                   9   
   3-03  The Dirty Half Dozen      8   
   3-02  Been There, Done That    9   
   3-01  The Furies                 6.5   
   Average score so far    ----       8.8   
   David   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)