From: daviderl31@yahoo.com   
      
                               6.10 Old Ares Had a Farm   
      
   First airing was Jan. 15, 2001.   
      
   The episode starts out with Xena and Gabrielle coming down the stairs inside   
   a tavern, presumably coming from a room they had rented. They go to the bar   
   and Xena spies several scumbag warlord types and goes over to find out why   
   they are there. Xena puts the Pinch on one of them and the others attack.   
      
   After a brief "here we go again" look on her face, Gabrielle joins in. After   
   the fight is over, Xena goes back to the first guy and asks what's going on.   
   He says the warlords of Greece, Thrace, and Macedonia have put a price on   
   Ares' head because he's crossed so many of them and they have united under   
   Gasgar the Terrible. They know he is now mortal.   
      
   Ares is walking down a path and is confronted by a guy named Siki who wants   
   to kill him. Xena and Gabrielle join Ares and she makes him run off. Ares   
   says he gets a lot of that. Xena tells him about the warlords coming after   
   him. He wants the three of them to take them all on. Xena has a better   
   idea – for him to change his identity. He says being a king or cult leader   
   appeals to him. She tells him he has to do something no one would suspect,   
   Then asks him how he is at shoveling shit.   
      
   Xena asks what is wrong with being a farmer. He still wants to fight the   
   warlords and Xena asks if he wants to fight EVERY one that comes along. She   
   says she and Gabrielle will stay with him until he gets into the swing of   
   things. He's imagining a plantation with slaves and flute-playing girls.   
      
   They come to a rundown, ramshackle farmhouse. Xena says it's just like she   
   remembered – the Elysian Fields on earth. She shows Gabrielle where she   
   carved her initial on a post – an X. It was her grandparents' farm and she   
   has fond memories of it. They go inside and it's even worse, cobwebs   
   everywhere, a table collapses and a door falls off its hinges.   
      
   Siki is bragging about killing Ares until Gasgar throws him around some. He   
   describes Ares and Gasgar thinks he may have seen him. He tells Gasgar he   
   saw Ares outside of Ipierso and followed them to the Lackawan Valley. He   
   says a couple of women were with him.   
      
   Ares is sitting shirtless on the porch while Xena and Gabrielle have changed   
   into skimpy peasant frocks. They are working  on the house while he's   
   drinking wine. Xena calls him inside and he hides some rags under the porch.   
   He goes inside and Xena wants him to nail boards to the ceiling.   
      
   Ares can't find the rags, his wineskin, and one of Gabrielle's boots is   
   missing. A  young, pretty widow neighbor, named Greba, comes over and tells   
   them the Warlord Gasgar was seen heading in their direction. Ares flirts   
   with her, but Xena runs her off, then changes back into her warrior garb and   
   says she's going to go see Gasgar.   
      
   Xena goes to Gasgar's camp and tells him she can give him Ares' head on a   
   platter. Gasgar believes her since he's heard stories about the things Ares   
   has done to her. But now that Ares is mortal they don't need her and don't   
   want to split the bounty. Xena suggests that maybe Ares isn't mortal, she   
   can still kill gods, and she knows where to find him.   
      
   Back at the farm Gabrielle and Ares are sitting in front of a roaring   
   fireplace while it is storming outside. Gabrielle thanks him for giving up   
   his godhood to save her and Eve. He says if Eve died, Xena would have lost   
   her ability to kill gods and Athena would have killed her. Gabrielle was   
   just an afterthought. Xena comes in and says she and her brothers used to   
   sit by the fire and tell ghost stories.   
      
   Ares says the thief has stolen one of his gauntlets. Gabrielle hints that   
   maybe it's a ghost. Ares says that mortals go to the most incredible places   
   just to rationalize unexplained phenomena.   
      
   Suddenly the roof begins to leak over them. The only dry room is the   
   bedroom. Ares says the three of them can sleep there. Xena says she supposes   
   since they are all adults. Ares agrees.   
      
   Gabrielle and Xena are wearing bras and skirts. Ares is between them with   
   just his leather pants on. Xena and Ares have trouble getting comfortable.   
      
   Gabrielle is sleeping. After some tossing and turning Ares is on his back   
   and Gabrielle turns over and her hand plops down on his crotch. Xena sees   
   this and with a distasteful look on her face moves Gabrielle's hand.   
      
   The next morning Ares wakes up to hear Xena and Gabrielle outside. Xena is   
   yelling that her breastplate is missing. Ares grabs his sword and comes out   
   on the bedroom balcony,  then jumps down to help them find the breastplate.   
   They are following tracks and can see where it was dragged. They find where   
   it and the other missing things have been buried. Inside a hollow log is a   
   small dog, who takes a shine to Ares.   
      
   Xena and Gabrielle go to town for supplies. Greba comes over while Ares is   
   on the roof trying to repair it. He comes down to talk to her. She thinks   
   Xena and Gabrielle are his daughters because he is an "older man" with a   
   touch of gray hair. Insulted, Ares goes back to fix the roof, but he falls   
   through and ends up on the floor covered with ceiling boards.   
      
   Xena and Gabrielle come back. Gabrielle is driving a wagon loaded with   
   chickens and a pig, with a cow following. They find Ares still lying on the   
   floor. He tells them he is "lying here smelling my mortality, all my muscles   
   ache, I have gray hair," and the dog's tongue is in his mouth.   
      
   Later, Xena tells Ares to kill a chicken for supper, and with joyful   
   excitement, he grabs his sword and goes to the chicken pen.   
      
   Gabrielle tells Xena she suspects the reason they are staying is that she's   
   trying to relive her childhood memories. Xena tells her she was happy, it   
   was peaceful, and she felt safe.   
      
   While Ares is still trying to kill  a chicken, Gasgar's men ride up, led by   
   Demetrius. Ares runs inside and Xena gives him old farmer's clothes to wear.   
   She says she has to leave. Demetrius calls for Ares to come outside. Ares   
   tells Gabrielle to go first and to stall. She takes the rag off her head,   
   shakes her hair and tears open her blouse, exposing polka dot blouse. She   
   goes outside like she was interrupted from something sexual. She flirts with   
   Demetrius until Ares comes out in the farmer's clothes. He orders her back   
   into the house.   
      
   Demetrius says they are looking for Ares. Farmer/Ares has an attitude and   
   gets knocked down for his smart mouth. Xena rides up and stops Demetrius   
   from hitting him with a board. Demetrius tells her she needs to put the   
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
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