From: daviderl31@yahoo.com   
      
                   THE XENA SCROLLS ARCHIVE   
      
               Xena Scroll Pouch #5   
      
   Dispatches from the Xena Restoration Society team that translated the Xena   
   Scrolls   
   (as edited by Robert Mellette)   
      
   Pouch 5: X.R.S. Correspondence   
      
   Date: October 23, 1996   
      
   To: TeamUniversal   
      
   From:  Hasson   
      
   Re:  The Fifth Pouch   
      
   I've received no end of grief from my students, and even some of my   
   coworkers, over my opinion of the television version of Xena.  I promised   
   Marvin, Janice and Evan that I would include their thoughts in this pouch.   
      
   From Janice Covington:  "My grandmother, and great-grandfather, have been   
   proven   
   right.  Sure, your discovery in 1983 helped to clear their names, Araham,   
   but having Xena broadcast all over the world is a nice piece of   
   retribution for my family.  So it's cheesy.  So it's campy.  So the stunts   
   and special effects look like a low budget B-movie.  Xena is becoming a   
   household name.  Somewhere, I hope, my Grammi is watching, wherever she   
   is."   
      
   From Marvin:  "Araham, don't become one of those intellectual ingrates   
   that separates `Pop' from `culture.' Culture that is not popular isn't   
   culture--right?  It's just stuff that nobody knows about--which, if   
   you dig your mind down to the core of that thought, you'll realize that --   
   well, if a painter paints a painting that nobody sees, is it art?  If   
   Gabrielle only told her stories to the trees, would they exist?  (The   
   stories, not the trees.) That's the deal with Jason and the Argonauts,   
   right?  If that myth didn't exist at all--or, equally, if no one had   
   ever read the ancient stories but some Hollywood Hotshot--and said   
   Hotshot were to get together Arnold and Sly and Van Damm and maybe even   
   the Magnificent Seven (the gymnasts, I mean, but you get the deal, right?)   
   And all of these really popular action heroes were in this movie about   
   going on an adventure to get something important, like--I don't know --   
   the Crown Jewels or something.  Would you call that movie "mythology?"   
   Would you study it?  Would you call it literature?  No, not today.  But   
   after 3,000 years of people watching it on home video, and remakes, and   
   such, some space alien professor is going to be boring the hell out of his   
   students by anal-izing the movie.  `What do the Crown Jewels   
   represent...?' My point is, Hasson, lighten up."   
      
   Evan writes:  "Oh, the shame of it all.  We are the laughing   
   stocks of our community.  I have just returned from a   
   speaking engagement in New York which was attended by   
   women in costumes.  They did the Xena yell.  One of them   
   was a man.  Back home, my youngest daughter has all of   
   her friends over to watch Xena on Sky.  She wants me to   
   bring Xena's original costume home from the office.  Where   
   will this all end?"   
      
   So, I've fulfilled my promise.  Now, back to the real story.   
      
   Hasson.   
      
      
   ******************Message Separator******************   
      
      
   Ep#: 76916   
      
   Date: June 7, 1994   
      
   To: XRS   
      
   From: Hasson   
      
   Re: The Report   
      
   You've all had a chance to read the peer review. I'd like to hear   
   your thoughts.   
      
   Hasson   
      
      
   ******************Message Separator******************   
      
      
   Date: June 8, 1994   
      
   To: XRS   
      
   From: Janice Covington   
      
   Re: RE: THE REPORT   
      
   What can I say? I'm devastated. Let me collect myself a little,   
   sleep on it, and I'll post something in the morning.   
      
   Janice   
      
      
   ******************Message Separator******************   
      
      
   Date: June 8, 1994   
      
   To: XRS   
      
   From: Costantakos   
      
   Re: RE: THE REPORT   
      
   I have nothing but the highest respect for every member of the   
   review board. I mentored under each of them at some time or another.   
   I am deeply disappointed to learn that their assessment of the   
   Xena Scrolls so differs from my own.   
      
   Evan   
      
      
   ******************Message Separator******************   
      
      
   Date: June 8, 1994   
      
   To: XRS   
      
   From: Melinda Pappas   
      
   Re: RE: THE REPORT   
      
   What do we do now? Is it over?   
      
   Melinda   
      
      
   ******************Message Separator******************   
      
      
   Date: June 8, 1994   
      
   To: XRS   
      
   From: Belinski   
      
   Re: RE: The Report   
      
   Hasson, my old friend, I was sorry to read of the news about the   
   Xena Scrolls being forgeries. I have been on this project with   
   you since the beginning, and I will be the last man off. I will   
   be with you always--but my crew.   
      
   I have lost almost all of the volunteers from the United States   
   and Europe. The students only wonder now when their universities   
   will call them home, and as for my hired hands, they can read the   
   writing in the sky. They are afraid they will not be paid if the   
   money runs out, so they have stopped working unless they are paid   
   in advance. What do you suggest I tell them?   
      
   Boris   
      
      
   ******************Message Separator******************   
      
      
   Date: June 9, 1994   
      
   To: XRS   
      
   From: Mad Marvin   
      
   Re: RE: THE REPORT   
      
   I have never in my life read such depressing, down-in-the-mouth,   
   pessimistic, dooms day drivel as I have just now--and I'm not   
   talking about the report--I'm talking about you guys!   
      
   As for the report: Well, if there ever was a more academic, all-   
   things-new-are-evil, what-about-MY-theories/thesis/job, let's-read-   
   the-evidence-the-way-that-best-suits-US, piece of doublespeak,   
   University-ese, non-communicable, giving-in-to-the-powers-that-   
   be, CRAP--then I have never read it. Case in point:   
      
   "Spectral analysis of the writing stain provided evidence that   
   the materials used in its formation--while sometimes available,   
   but rarely processed and applied, during the late second to early   
   first millennia B.C.E.--occur more commonly in works of the   
   third to fourth centuries C.E."   
      
   Like... duh!   
      
   We hardly have any samples of writings as old as the Xena Scrolls   
   -- besides the Scrolls themselves. The "writing stain" (that which   
   we call INK!) might have been as common as Bic pens are to us -   
   - only none of it has survived. This is the kind of one-sided   
   slant to the evidence that really tics me off!   
      
   More:   
      
   "The evidence of the forger tipping his hand with an over zealous   
   cleverness appears in the shameless bastardization of the Ulysses   
   stories. Since this version of the tale is written on palimpsest   
   of old shipping ledgers, it is clear that the forger got the idea   
   for a sea-going tale from the very writing he scraped off the   
   previous scroll."   
      
   Okay, that's one theory. It happens to be complete conjecture   
   without a shred of supporting evidence--but as long as we're   
   playing that game, let's try this one: Gabrielle picked up the   
   old shipping ledger while at Ithaca, or on the mainland, scraped   
   the old text off herself, and then sat down to write the Ulysses   
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)