From: JWK4EVER 

> Here is my case formulation of you, as of last we talked, which admittedly
was several years ago. You most likely meet criteria for an Axis II delusional
disorder, as your psychiatrist(s) diagnosed you with. An Axis II disorder is
generally less severe than an Axis I disorder. You don't meet criteria for
schizophrenia, which involves delusions, hallucinations and disordered
thinking. You only have delusions, and those delusions that you have are not
severe in intensity. Your logical understanding of causality is not impaired,
but you sometimes engage in delusions as a defence mechanism to protect your
self-esteem and manage core identity issues.
> >
>

 "Never surrender dreams". I had to surrender *all* my dreams (my delusions) in
 becoming sane! I took me about 7 years and during that time I have been
committed two times into a mental institution. On the bright side I have
learned that Vantu is just as fictional creation as Santa or the Easter Bunny.
I am no longer letting him drive mine life with the help of proper medication!
 
> Psychiatrists often speak of "delusional guilt". My interpretation of
delusional guilt is that it typically involves a negative schema, combined with
 an impairment in your ability to use rational evidence to counter the negative
 thoughts you've had about yourself.
> >
>

I have a very low self-esteem indeed!
 
> Your IQ seems to be above average (tests can measure it more precisely), and
you're smart enough to learn more than one language. Your vocabulary in
English, which isn't your first language, is pretty good. Your ability to
understand the world around you does not seem to be impaired, except for your
negative self-image and delusions pertaining to yourself and your core
identity. The Babylon 5 questions, such as "Who are you?" and "What do you
want" are worth considering. They're not easy questions to answer. It's painful
 to be yourself, so you use delusions as a form of escapism.
> >
>

And I have used delusions also as a mask.


> Last we talked, you were comfortable and perhaps even enthusiastic about
receiving help and support in this newsgroup. Consequently, I'm assuming that
you're consenting to hearing the above material publicly. Please accept my
apologies in the event that this assumption of mine was inaccurate.
> >
>

No apologizes needed, this assumption of you is accurate!
 
> It's pretty quiet in here these days, and I'm not going to be around much.
That's why I figured I'd give you this formulation now,
for you to take away with you if you wish. I'd like to be clear that nothing I
say to you online can take the place of formal therapy in "real life" in your
local area. So, if you're seeing professionals such as a psychiatrist or
clinical psychologist, please be guided by them. If you wish to print out this
post of mine and show it to a professional you're seeing locally, please feel
free to do so.
> >
>

Thank you for the information! I am on anti depressants and anti psychotics and
 am seeing a psychiatrist regularly


> The reason we lost contact is not due to your psychosis, or anything about
you, or anything that you said or did. I simply got too busy doing other
things, and lost contact with other people besides you. I'm not very good at
keeping up with email correspondence. I'd lose my head if it wasn't screwed on.
 Your apology is definitely accepted, and wasn't necessary in the first place.
> >
>

Thank you for accepting my apologies, I hope you aren’t offended that I have
responded late to your posting in this newsgroup

> Take care, and I wish you all the best. I'll hopefully see you on this
newsgroup again sometime.
>>
>

You will see me frequently 

Until Next Time

Jan-Willem


--- Internet Rex 2.31
 * Origin: Deep Thought (1:2320/101)