XPost: alt.checkmate, alt.philosophy.checkmate, soc.penpals   
   From: greghall@høme.fake   
      
   On Wed, 8 Jan 2020, Checkmate  wrote:   
      
   <...>   
      
   >I was driving a camper at night in the left lane once, going exactly 55 in    
   >a 55, and some asshole started tailgating me and flashing his brights, so    
   >I did what I usually do in that situation, and said Fuck heeem!  There    
   >were two lanes to the right that were wide open, but this dick kept    
   >flashing his brights at me to move over.   
   >   
   >Next thing I know, it's Christmas time... the guy's a cop, and lights me    
   >up.  He asks me if I saw him flashing his brights at me, and I told him    
   >sure I did, but I was going the limit, and there were two open lanes to    
   >the right.  That didn't satisfy this pompous ass, so he wrote me a ticket,    
   >claiming my side view mirrors obviously weren't "adequate" to see behind    
   >me.  What a piece of Schitt!   
   >   
   >Another time, I was driving a 4X4 in the left lane, going the speed limit    
   >because I knew there was a cop behind me.  He followed me for awhile, then    
   >passed me in the #2 lane, mean-mugging me as he went by, like that pissed    
   >him off.  He got up to 65-70 after he passed me, so I sped up to pretty    
   >close to the same, but stayed behind him.  Then he slowed back down, got    
   >in behind me, and pulled me over for speeding, saying he "paced me in his    
   >rear view mirror".   
   >   
   >That time really pissed me off, so we got into a rather heated discussion    
   >about it, where he made the claim he was already pacing a motorcycle    
   >ahead, but I knew he was there and sped up, so he decided to give ME the    
   >ticket.  There WAS no motorcycle anywhere around, so I asked him where the    
   >MC was, what color it was, etc.  He didn't seem to like that, and we each    
   >got shitty with each other.   
   >   
   >I signed the ticket, and he started walking back to his car... then I had    
   >an idea:  I needed to get up to speed quickly to merge back onto the    
   >freeway safely, and I was parked on gravel... are you with me?  I    
   >carefully turned on my left turn signal to indicate I was going to be    
   >merging back onto the highway, then punched it and dropped the clutch    
   >hard, causing the most beautiful shower of dirt and rocks to fly from the    
   >back of my truck.  For one brief moment, I was loving the havoc going on    
   >behind me... until I saw that the cop was now sprinting back to his    
   >vehicle with a new-found sense of urgency.   
   >   
   >Then, it occurred to me that this couldn't be good.  Sure enough, he lit    
   >me up again.  I pulled over, but deliberately didn't leave him enough room    
   >to safely approach me from my side of the truck.  He ran up to the    
   >passenger side, obviously not amused, and I rolled down my window just a    
   >little bit.  Surprisingly, he didn't say anything about the gravel shower,    
   >but informed me he was writing me a second ticket for NOT signaling when I    
   >pulled out the first time.   
   >   
   >Apparently, he figured out that I could easily say I was just getting up    
   >to speed quickly to safely merge with other traffic, and that wouldn't be    
   >illegal... just an unforeseen and unfortunate consequence of being pulled    
   >over on a gravel shoulder... Ooops!  "Don't bother getting your license    
   >out, I already have all the information!" he politely screamed.  He    
   >informed me that he was writing the new ticket for "Failure to signal when    
   >I pulled out".  As I said earlier, that was the first thing I did... right    
   >before the "meteor" shower.   
   >   
   >At this point, I was just thankful he didn't drag me out of the car and    
   >club me to death, so I went on my way... being very careful to signal    
   >again, and a little less heavy on the clutch.   
   >   
   >I decided to dispute both tickets because he lied... "How DARE him!"  I    
   >didn't get anywhere with the speeding ticket, which was no big surprise,    
   >but when I started insisting that I had most diligently used my turn    
   >indicator to signal that I was getting ready to merge, the judge wasn't    
   >even looking at me, or paying any attention at all... he just stared at    
   >the wall, like "Are you done yet?"  It was almost as if the District    
   >Attorney had whispered in his ear before the trial even began.   
   >   
   >If you've gotten this far, you've probably already concluded that I lost    
   >on both counts.  Indeed I did, but the memory of that cop getting a rock    
   >bath is still priceless, and that was about 35 years ago.   
      
   Scofflaw!   
      
   1) slower traffic move RIGHT, FFS!   
      
   2) cooperate with an LEO.   
      
   --    
   Yours Truly, Sir Gregory   
      
   Nadegda, kensi, Fran, Pandora  »  these are easily    
   ignøred misandrists and anti-American, leftist liars.   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)