XPost: alt.checkmate, alt.philosophy.checkmate, soc.penpals   
   From: vallor@cultnix.org   
      
   On Wed, 08 Jan 2020 13:16:00 -0800, Checkmate wrote:   
      
   > Warning! Always wear ANSI approved safety goggles when reading posts by   
   > Checkmate.   
   >   
   >   On 6 Jan 2020 21:17:16 GMT  vallor put forth the following notion,   
   >   which   
   > was duly noted and recorded:   
   >   
   >   
   >   
   >> On Mon, 06 Jan 2020 10:12:31 -0500, mixed nuts wrote:   
   >>   
   >> > On 1/6/2020 5:24 AM, Sn!pe wrote:   
   >> >> mixed nuts  wrote:   
   >> >>> Gerk  (Neal Warren) wrote:   
   >> >> [...]   
   >> >>>> In an old fashioned internal combustion automobile engine you'd be   
   >> >>>> VERY lucky to get 20mpg.   
   >> >>>>   
   >> >>>> DOH!   
   >> >>>   
   >> >>> I get 30 mpg in my 450 hp track ready fast supercar.   
   >> >>   
   >> >> Does it have speckles?   
   >> >   
   >> > It's a metallic blue - more sparkle than speckle, I believe.   
   >> >   
   >> > The hard working police officers who pull me over for obstructing a   
   >> > fully authorized 110 mph stealth practice perfuit (no flashing   
   >> > lights)   
   >> > for driving 55 mph in a 55 mph zone on a 4 lane highway with light   
   >> > traffic have written "black" on the warning ticket and didn't note   
   >> > any speckles.   
   >>   
   >> Please tell me you aren't one of those turkeys that drives 55 in the   
   >> left lane?   
   >>   
   >> Were you blocking the left lane when he came up on you?   
   >   
   > I was driving a camper at night in the left lane once, going exactly 55   
   > in a 55, and some asshole started tailgating me and flashing his   
   > brights, so I did what I usually do in that situation, and said Fuck   
   > heeem!  There were two lanes to the right that were wide open, but this   
   > dick kept flashing his brights at me to move over.   
      
   Ah, you were trollin'.   
      
   I would have just gone around you though -- life's too short to be playing   
   those games.   
      
   What gets me though, are people who go to pass a truck with two lanes   
   going our direction, then sit there and paces (not passes -- paces) the   
   truck.   
      
   "FFS, pass.  the.  truck."   
      
   Or really, anybody that paces the car to their right.   
      
   Another one that is almost as bad is being out on I-5 (4 lanes, 2 each   
   way, 75MPH speed limit), and a truck decides to pass another truck.   
   Trucks passing trucks = more slowdowns.   
      
   > Next thing I know, it's Christmas time... the guy's a cop, and lights me   
   > up.  He asks me if I saw him flashing his brights at me, and I told him   
   > sure I did, but I was going the limit, and there were two open lanes to   
   > the right.  That didn't satisfy this pompous ass, so he wrote me a   
   > ticket,   
   > claiming my side view mirrors obviously weren't "adequate" to see behind   
   > me.  What a piece of Schitt!   
   >   
   > Another time, I was driving a 4X4 in the left lane, going the speed   
   > limit because I knew there was a cop behind me.  He followed me for   
   > awhile, then passed me in the #2 lane, mean-mugging me as he went by,   
   > like that pissed him off.  He got up to 65-70 after he passed me, so I   
   > sped up to pretty close to the same, but stayed behind him.  Then he   
   > slowed back down, got in behind me, and pulled me over for speeding,   
   > saying he "paced me in his rear view mirror".   
   >   
   > That time really pissed me off, so we got into a rather heated   
   > discussion about it, where he made the claim he was already pacing a   
   > motorcycle ahead, but I knew he was there and sped up, so he decided to   
   > give ME the ticket.  There WAS no motorcycle anywhere around, so I asked   
   > him where the MC was, what color it was, etc.  He didn't seem to like   
   > that, and we each got shitty with each other.   
   >   
   > I signed the ticket, and he started walking back to his car... then I   
   > had an idea:  I needed to get up to speed quickly to merge back onto the   
   > freeway safely, and I was parked on gravel... are you with me?  I   
   > carefully turned on my left turn signal to indicate I was going to be   
   > merging back onto the highway, then punched it and dropped the clutch   
   > hard, causing the most beautiful shower of dirt and rocks to fly from   
   > the back of my truck.  For one brief moment, I was loving the havoc   
   > going on behind me... until I saw that the cop was now sprinting back to   
   > his vehicle with a new-found sense of urgency.   
   >   
   > Then, it occurred to me that this couldn't be good.  Sure enough, he lit   
   > me up again.  I pulled over, but deliberately didn't leave him enough   
   > room to safely approach me from my side of the truck.  He ran up to the   
   > passenger side, obviously not amused, and I rolled down my window just a   
   > little bit.  Surprisingly, he didn't say anything about the gravel   
   > shower,   
   > but informed me he was writing me a second ticket for NOT signaling when   
   > I pulled out the first time.   
   >   
   > Apparently, he figured out that I could easily say I was just getting up   
   > to speed quickly to safely merge with other traffic, and that wouldn't   
   > be illegal... just an unforeseen and unfortunate consequence of being   
   > pulled over on a gravel shoulder... Ooops!  "Don't bother getting your   
   > license out, I already have all the information!" he politely screamed.   
   > He informed me that he was writing the new ticket for "Failure to signal   
   > when I pulled out".  As I said earlier, that was the first thing I   
   > did... right before the "meteor" shower.   
   >   
   > At this point, I was just thankful he didn't drag me out of the car and   
   > club me to death, so I went on my way... being very careful to signal   
   > again, and a little less heavy on the clutch.   
   >   
   > I decided to dispute both tickets because he lied... "How DARE him!"  I   
   > didn't get anywhere with the speeding ticket, which was no big surprise,   
   > but when I started insisting that I had most diligently used my turn   
   > indicator to signal that I was getting ready to merge, the judge wasn't   
   > even looking at me, or paying any attention at all... he just stared at   
   > the wall, like "Are you done yet?"  It was almost as if the District   
   > Attorney had whispered in his ear before the trial even began.   
   >   
   > If you've gotten this far, you've probably already concluded that I lost   
   > on both counts.  Indeed I did, but the memory of that cop getting a rock   
   > bath is still priceless, and that was about 35 years ago.   
      
   You're lucky he didn't try to get you on assault and battery.  Though I   
   guess there wouldn't be a way for him to prove you did it on purpose...   
      
   --   
    -v   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)