XPost: alt.horror.cthulhu   
   From: invalid@address.com   
      
   > Because the remains of Jesus suddenly were gone and my theory is that   
   > Cthulhu feasted on the flesh of Jesus.   
   >   
   > It's probably true...   
      
   I figured out the answer to this puzzle also (along with the   
   necktie puzzle -- I'm just a mother of invention lately).   
      
   Jesus was eaten by the disciples. No, I'm serious. Think about it.   
   The whole heart of Christianity is based on the premise that   
   followers of Christ eat his body.   
      
   Just before Jesus was arrested, he gave secret instructions to his   
   disciples, teachings that are not revealed in the gospels. What   
   were they? He instructed them to eat his flesh after he was killed.   
      
   After his death, his body mysteriously disappeared from its tomb.   
   Yet it was said to have reappeared, animated with renewed life,   
   before the gathered disciples. This is a mythic way of saying that   
   the disciples consumed the flesh of Jesus, and thereby reanimated   
   him within themselves, becoming one with Jesus, and so able to   
   carry on his divine mission. Jesus was reborn and lived within his   
   disciples because they ate him.   
      
   For centuries the Romans detested Christians more than any other   
   religion. Why? Because they accused Christians of unspeakably vile   
   practices, among them the consumption of human flesh. Were the   
   Romans so incredibly stupid that they couldn't distinguish fables   
   from reality? I don't think so. I believe the Romans accused   
   Christians of eating human flesh because the leaders of the Church   
   kept the dried remains of Jesus, and added small amounts of his   
   flesh to their communion meals, in order to empower them.   
      
   Only after the body of Jesus was wholly consumed -- which may or   
   may not have happened within the lives of the disciples -- did the   
   mass become completely symbolic. The Church was forced to move to   
   a symbolic eating of Christ's flesh after all of Christ's actual   
   flesh had been consumed.   
      
   No, don't thank me for this information. I consider it a public   
   service to clear up these little mysteries of history.   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)