XPost: alt.support.schizophrenia, alt.society.mental-health   
   From: dalton@nfld.com   
      
   In article ,   
    Morgana Fairy  wrote on   
   alt.support.schizophrenia:   
      
   > I'm really depressed.  I've recently been diagnosed with paranoid   
   > schizophrenia and I'm treated against my will with a powerful antipsychotic.   
   > All it does is it numbs me out and makes me very apathic and indifferent.   
   > I'm basically a vegetable.  It's not fair.  I used to be a happy and   
   > intelligent woman with many projects.  Now all my goals are impossible to   
   > achieve because I'm so impaired with the meds.  The doctors don't listen to   
   > anything I have to say, they don't care about me: I'm been ruled out as crazy   
   > and now whatever I say is irrelevant.  I hate this psychiatric system and   
   > their forced treatments.  The doctors don't even want to know why I had   
   > become psychotic and they don't care to help me deal more appropriately with   
   > my life's issues.  All they want to do is continue giving me their unwelcomed   
   > injections and look down at me telling me the reason I don't want the drugs   
   > is that I'm in denial regarding my disease.  I don't have a disease, I just   
   > have been going through a though time and I have a vivid imagination.  I have   
   > an uncommon spirit and I was exploring spiritual possibilities.  They call it   
   > delusions.   
   >   
   > It's a bad world we live in.  People don't know what to do with suffering   
   > humans because they have not accepted their own dark side.  I feel like I was   
   > in touch with another side of life during my so-called psychosis and now all   
   > this is riped off of me.  I'd rather if somebody had helped me understand   
   > myself better without resorting to the medication.  I feel very trapped and   
   > depressed, it's all so unfair.   
   >   
   > Morgana   
      
   What antipsychotic are you on?   I am bipolar and am on   
   the antipsychotic olanzapine in addition to my lithium and   
   I have been doing well since 2005 but still have had   
   some degree of spiritual connectedness.   
      
   Maybe you can switch to another antipsychotic that has   
   fewer numbing side effects (for example olanzapine has   
   less numbing than haloperidol but can cause weight gain).   
      
   Or maybe after you demonstrate stability for a while   
   you can convince the doctor to gradually reduce the   
   dose of the antipsychotic until you feel less numb   
   and have some degree of spiritual connectedness while   
   maintaining a good grasp of reality.   But you then   
   may not want to tell your doctor everything about the   
   spiritual connectedness, depending on the doctor (I   
   told my doctor about mine without him wanting to   
   up my olanzapine dosages; he called it magical thinking).   
      
   I think unless you have US health coverage you are   
   probably better off to stay here in Canada.   But   
   I thought they couldn't force you to take medication   
   unless you were deemed a danger to yourself and/or   
   others?   
      
   Yoga and meditation might help you manage your   
   spiritual connectedness (and any special abilities).   
   Also check for any food allergies, and avoid marijuana.   
      
   Also sometimes the drug side effects will diminish over   
   time as you get used to the drug.    For example in   
   my first six months on lithium I was sort of slow   
   but after that things improved and I eventually had   
   some creative hypomanias, which were relatively   
   manageable and did not require hospitalization.   So   
   if you can't switch to a different drug, the side   
   effects may diminish some over time, I guess even   
   more if your dose is reduced after you are stable for   
   a while (e.g. I was initially on 2100 mg lithium carbonate   
   daily but that was reduced to 1800 fairly quickly).   
      
   Another thing you can do is to have a lower regular dose   
   of the antipsychotic but also keep an emergency supply   
   of the antipsychotic on hand to take if you feel reality   
   distorting around you and/or if you feel you are being   
   overwhelmed by your spiritual connectedness, to nip   
   the episode in the bud.   I did that several times   
   with haloperidol back when I was just on lithium   
   otherwise, but these days I am on regular lithium and   
   regular olanzapine.   
      
   Anyway, good luck,   
      
   --   
   David Dalton  dalton@nfld.com   http://www.nfld.com/~dalton (home page)   
   http://www.nfld.com/~dalton/nf.html Newfoundland&Labrador Travel & Music   
   http://www.nfld.com/~dalton/dtales.html Salmon on the Thorns (mystic page)   
      "Here I go again...back into the flame" (Sarah McLachlan)   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)