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   XPost: alt.politics.democrats, alt.politics.usa.republican   
   From: katt@gmail.com   
      
   On Fri, 21 Nov 2025 11:52:01 -0800,  Rudy Canoza says...   
      
   > facts, restored.   
      
   Why does Rudy live in an alternate universe?   
      
   =====   
      
   AlleyCat is one of the several people who dominate Rudy on a daily basis,   
   keeping their bootheels on his little pencil neck to the amusement of all.   
      
   Narcissistic Rudy's Sociopathic Alternate Reality   
      
   The Narcissist's Reality - How It's SO Different From Yours   
      
   Wouldn't it be nice to live in the narcissist's reality?  You're always right.   
   You're the best at everything. You're an expert at all things you do or   
   haven't even tried.   
      
   As Dr. Les Carter says, there's an alternate reality and always an agenda when   
   it comes to the narcissist.  I thought it would be interesting to break down   
   the top six ways the narcissist lives in a different reality and how it's not   
   healthy for you and me.   
      
   1) The narcissist is always the victim.   
      
   The narcissist has a lot of pain from the past and is skilled at projecting   
   that pain on everyone else.  If you call the narcissist out on a cruel or   
   inappropriate action or response, and he or she feels violated, criticized,   
   demeaned.  The narcissist will become the victim because that keeps the   
   narcissist from having to look within. This is referred to as a narcissistic   
   injury.  And the narcissist can play a very good victim. It takes the focus   
   off what the narcissist did wrong, and it puts you on the defensive as the   
   perpetrator.   
      
   For example, I remember catching a narcissist in my life stealing.  I asked   
   him why. The response was, "I didn't grow up with a silver spook in my mouth   
   like you did, Laura." His reply hurt for two reasons: one, I grew up in a   
   middle-class family in Arkansas, and secondly, stealing is wrong.  No matter   
   how you look at it, it's against the law.   
      
   2) It's always your fault.   
      
   If anything goes wrong it's your fault, no matter the offender.  Remember,   
   narcissists believe they are perfect and everyone else is not.  How could it   
   be his or her fault?   
      
   My ex-husband and I were driving south on Interstate 35 one Thanksgiving   
   morning.  A car hit us from behind. He was driving. But guess who got blamed   
   for the accident? Me, even though I was sitting in the passenger seat.  You   
   got it. It was my fault.   
      
   When we got into an argument one day, he called me white trash.  It wasn't   
   about anything significant of course, but whatever it was turned out to be MY   
   fault.  The narcissist is never to blame.   
      
   3) You walk on eggshells because the punishment doesn't fit the crime.   
      
   With the narcissist, the punishment never fits the crime. Usually there's not   
   even a crime to begin with.   The narcissist may dole out harsh criticism, the   
   silent treatment or a combination of both to "punish" you and have you begging   
   for forgiveness.  Remember, the narcissist is great at being the injured   
   party, even when the narcissist is actually the perpetrator.   
      
   There's no proportion.  The drama doesn't end, no matter how much you tiptoe   
   around your home.   
      
   4) The narcissist is the greatest at everything   
      
   I remember being in church with the narcissist and listening to the criticism   
   fly.  We were listening to a Doctor of Theology preach. But guess who knew   
   more than the pastor?  You got it. The narcissist said he knew more. He also   
   knew how to dress better than the pastor, he said.  It was difficult to focus   
   on the sermon and worshiping due to the barrage of criticism.   
      
   Narcissists also believe they are so good at life, that they shouldn't   
   surround themselves with anyone "less than" them. (If you'll notice they have   
   few is any good friends.)  That's why the narcissist doesn't engage with   
   anyone he feels inferior or that can't do something for the narcissist.   
      
   5) The narcissist always has an agenda.   
      
   The narcissist almost does something with the end in mind.  The narcissist   
   must get something from a situation or person, or the narcissist won't take   
   part.  The narcissist looks at life like a Monopoly game. There's a strategy   
   or manipulative tactic put in place in order to gain money, people, and   
   things, regardless if it hurts the other person financially or emotionally.   
   I've known narcissists who leave an ex-wife and children homeless, while the   
   narcissists walk away free of guilt and trauma. If it works for the   
   narcissist, then that's how the narcissist believes the game should be played.   
      
   6) There is no peace with a narcissist.   
      
   The narcissist takes pride and pleasure in disrupting your world.  Seeing you   
   in emotional pain is something the narcissist relishes. Why? The more pain you   
   carry, the easier it is for the narcissist to control you and those around   
   you.  The narcissist also understands that if you are isolated due to your   
   pain or his control, then that's even better. He has you at his disposal,   
   broken down, ready to please.   
      
   Also, the narcissist likes for your home life, social life and professional   
   life to revolve around him or her.  The narcissist does it by causing   
   disruption, then often fixing the problem he caused. For example, I can recall   
   numerous arguments the narcissist provoked, only to come back and give an   
   empty apology such as, "I'm sorry, but you push my buttons.  Can you calm down   
   and we talk about this rationally?" The narcissist looks like the hero, and   
   you're left wondering what just happened.   
      
   Life with a narcissist is a rollercoaster.  There are so many ups and downs,   
   all orchestrated to have high control. But there are ways to get off the   
   roller coaster.  First of all, don't get on board in the first place. Focus on   
   your truth.  Don't let the narcissist sway your beliefs of what you know to be   
   true.  Journal or keep a notebook of incidents you know occurred.   
      
   Secondly, find some peace every day.  Take the dog for a walk. Phone a trusted   
   friend.  Get grounded in reality. There are good people out there who want you   
   to be healthy emotionally and physically.   
      
   Finally, live your best life.  Avoid toxic people. If you can't avoid the   
   narcissist, put strong boundaries in place.  The narcissist won't like it, but   
   you will become stronger. Time away from toxic people helps you heal and see   
   things clearly. You can more easily live your life.  That's the best karma out   
   there. And you accelerate that karma by taking care of you.   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)