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-=> Daryl Stout wrote to Dave Drum <=-

 DD> That sounds like a song lyric. I'm not sure if you're having the Ray
 DD> Charles bad luck or the Roy Clark and Buck Owens bad luck.

 DD> https://tinyurl.com/CLARK-OWENS

 DD> https://tinyurl.com/RAYMOND-CHARLES

 DS>   Yeah, it's the one from Hee Haw.

 DD> Can you still see well enough to shoot? That'll put a stop to that.

 DS>   I don't have a firearm...the last time I handled a gun was 45 years
 DS> ago, in taking a Hunters Safety Course.

My "Hunter's Safety Course" consisted of my Granddad telling me "Don't
point it at anything you don't intend to shoot. And don't shoot it at
anything you don't intend to kill."

 DS>   The phone was supposed to be here Saturday...it didn't arrive in
 DS> Little Rock until today. But, the way they do mail with the Post Office
 DS> Box, I can't pick it up until tomorrow...which is just as well...it's

Supply chain issues. I tried to buy a new "big screen" monitor from Best
Buy ... and it got backordered for three weeks before they finally woke
up and cancelled the order. About the time that B.B. 86ed the back order
Dell sent me a flyer with the *perfect* monitor (I thought) for my 
purpose. I finally called and talked to a CSR whose first language was
not English after three missed "estimated delivery dates". Apparently
my new monitor may still be floating on a boat outside San Pedro (CA)
harbour. So I arranged for a substitute at the same (really good) price.

It finally showed up yesterday - after missing only one estimated date.
Then it didn't have a VGA port. RATZ -  and small mice. Time to play
"musical monitors". After finding out I only have one confuser modern
enough to have an HDMI output.

 DS> raining outside now, and the streets are wet...never mind folks think
 DS> they can stop just as fast on a wet, snowy, or icy pavement, as they
 DS> can on dry.

From riding motorcycles for 65 years I've developed the habit of drivihg
all of the cars around me and thinking "What's the dumbest thing this
Bozo could do?" Ten times out of nine I'll be proven right. But, fore
warned is fore armed.   Bv)=

 DD> Doncha have a phone line for the confuser? Or, if you're on cable (as I
 DD> am until I can shine $cumCa$t on by hooking into the fibre network)
 DD> most of them offer home phone service. Or, if youse have got Ma Bell -
 DD> dig out your old 9600 baud U.S. Robotics modem and your PC Board
 DD> software and soldier on.

 DS>   I've supposedly got a line with Xfinity, but I can't get a dial tone.

At the prices the $sumCa$t (Xfinity) charge they should be Johnny-on-the-
spot with service calls/technicians. I've got internet service only with
them and it's north of U$88/month. I shudder to think what it wouold be
ig I was addicted to the Glass Teat as some of my friends are.

 DS> I don't have AT&T...they did my Mom dirty with DSL years ago...and
 DS> apparently, it's not the first time this has happened.

I always had good luck with AT&T. I'd still have their DSL if I hadn't
sold my Redneck McMansion and moved from the trailer park into a real
house. Me and AT&T have gotten along since the days of me running a C=64
with a TotalTel 300 baud modem. I was having a line noise and "cross-
talk" problem - and I knew it was caused by bad joints in the wire and 
wet lines. But AT&T said "You're not paying for a data line." So, I told 
them I'd just hook 220v across their "pair" and blow every bad connection 
between me and the central station.

Couple days later I got a call from Customer Service saying they had
checked the lines and could find no problem. But, y'know the problem
went away - and I've never had a problem with them since.

 DD> Not if you're on a "pee pill". (Voice of experience)

 DS>   Been there, done that. It's more like "mountain spring water clear"
 DS> when you're on a diuretic. I have the potential to become type 2
 DS> diabetic, but my next blood work isn't set for July. When I was
 DS> hospitalized 3 years ago to remove some bladder stones, they gave me
 DS> Lasix, and several pitchers of ice water. I thought I was going to pee
 DS> my pecker off every 5 minutes. I told the nurses "better bring at least
 DS> a half dozen portable urinals". I was filling them up in 30 minutes
 DS> time.

I know the words to that song. I *am* a Type 2.

 DD> I don't have birthdays any more - Just anniversaries of my "Jack Benny"
 DD> The next one will be the 41st anniversary.  Bv)=  My work is planning
 DD> a surprise party - but, since I know about it I'm planning to call-off
 DD> that day.  Bv)=

 DS>   Jack Benny?? As much of a frugal cheapskate as he was??  We use to

The cheapskate was as much an act as being only 39 years old. In reality
he was known for his generosity.  Bv)=

 DS> have to worry about "birthday spankings"...now, if it was a good
 DS> looking female, the way I'm going, I might be amenable to that.
 DS> Remember, dirty old Sysops need love, too. 

Never been into B&D. To me "no pain" means no pain. 
 
 DD> They said "Cheer up, things could be worse!" So, I cheered up and sure
 DD> as hell - things got worse!

 DS>   Exactly.

 DD> "A cheapskate won't tip a waitress. I'm just careful with my money."

 DS>   Here are 3 tips to give when they ask for one:

 DS> 1) Plant your corn early.
 DS> 2) Keep your powder dry.
 DS> 3) Always have clean underwear on.

 DS>   The latter is the most important. 

That would be tough for me I've been going "commando" for at least the
past 30 years.   Bv)=

... "To err is human - to really foul things up you need a computer" Paul
rlich
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