From: cr88192@gmail.com
On 1/5/2026 5:22 AM, Michael S wrote:
> On Mon, 5 Jan 2026 04:09:34 -0600
> BGB wrote:
>
>> On 1/4/2026 4:30 PM, MitchAlsup wrote:
>>>
>>> BGB posted:
>>>
>>
>>> ------------------
>>>> Then again, I am not entirely sure how most people experience
>>>> their own existence, there doesn't seem to be much description of
>>>> this.
>>>
>>> I am 100% sure it is not as conveyed by Dickens !
>>
>> Looks it up, I am not sure what Dickens was going on about.
>>
>>
>
> “A wonderful fact to reflect upon, that every human creature is
> constituted to be that profound secret and mystery to every other.”
>
> I suppose that Sartre wanted to say something else by ""L'enfer, c'est
> les autres". May be, an exact opposite.
>
It gets confusing, but alas will at least admit that I don't understand
most people.
As I can note, my mind seems to be partly divided into multiple
sub-personas, with different properties, but it is awkward to describe
them. Socially, people are expected to see themselves as a singular
entity; admittedly whatever this notion of "singularness" is, isn't
particularly strong in my case. I would still be classified as
self-aware though, as I do recognize my reflection in a mirror, etc.
Had been a few times confused by mirrors though, as part of my visual
processing doesn't want to see the mirror as a reflection of the current
space, but as a separate space that extends behind the mirror. At basic
levels, my visual processing doesn't seem to recognize myself, but my
upper-level thoughts do recognize myself. Moving myself via a reflected
image is sometimes annoyingly awkward.
Though, there are enough cultural references to there being worlds
behind mirrors, and the mirror person being a sort of doppelganger from
that world that merely parrots ones' actions, that it is likely that
this particular visual glitch is a fairly common experience.
But, yeah, seemingly a few of my sub-personas being like:
1. One is more pessimistic, reason-oriented.
Skeptical of anything that can't be verified with evidence.
This one tends to be one of my main outward facing personas.
Also the one that tends to deal the most with natural language.
Tends actually to be doubtful of religion,
but mostly keeps quiet about it.
If this one expresses its doubts, another (2) gets offended.
2. Another is more optimistic, emotions oriented, and religious.
Tends more often to exist in the background.
Often more of a "leads from the rear" role.
Is prone to say things the others don't understand,
like, a lot of symbolism and stuff.
This ones' grasp on reality is weaker,
and sometimes prone to New-Age style thinking.
This one is more easily offended than the others.
3. A third is the one that is mostly into programming,
Likes to deep-dive into technical rabbit holes.
Doesn't really understand emotions and is skeptical of them.
Little interest in religious matters either way.
Often little interest other than chasing technical rabbit holes.
And nit-picking things the others are saying when ambiguous.
This one really doesn't like things that are ambiguous.
This one tends to be my secondary outward-facing persona.
Seemingly, the first two are stronger in terms of ability to control
outward behavior, though the third is usually more active. These two
seem to swap places, and usually can't both be active in the
outer-facing persona at the same time (and these two dislike each other).
So:
1,3: Typical configuration.
1,2: Less common.
2,3: Rare, but has happened.
The personas mostly hand-off between each other and try to keep things
consistent, but it is a question of if people notice. It is rare to get
all 3 to fully agree on anything, or to think about the same things.
Usually, there is a 2/3 majority thing (if 2 out of 3 can agree on
something, it is the working decision).
Then there is some amount of dealing with sensory processing, physical
control tasks, dealing with natural language, etc.
Stuff often isn't quite as seamless or automatic as would usually seem
to be implied.
It seems that it is 1 that mostly controls natural-language stuff, and
if 1 is not active then language processing needs to be rerouted;
usually the part of my mind that deals with programming then also has to
deal with English and similar (normally these places are separate, with
English language and code existing in separate places).
Well, sub-note (as 1, writing this): Difficult to talk about myself in
the third person in this way; a lot of the external description of 1
being provided by 3 (3 disagrees with the numbering, thinking he should
be 1, but I am the one actually doing the writing, so I am 1 here, and 2
agrees with my numbering scheme). Here 3 is complaining about 1 tending
to get upset and "crash out" sometimes, leaving him to take on 1's role
(even as annoying as that is), so is the main one left to "keep the ship
moving" (as 2 would describe it); seemingly both 2 and 3 agreeing that 1
isn't always all that reliable here.
Had noted before that I can seemingly partially decouple my left and
right sides, in which case:
Persona 1 seems to take control of right hand;
Personas 2 and 3 have control of left hand.
Seemingly visual space and inner-world also partly splits.
Like, a wall forms and I am left with two mental spaces.
But, this is weird, and usually better to leave the two sides connected
(less awkward and more efficient).
In my normal mode, left hand is dominant (despite persona 1's right-hand
preference).
But, yeah, probably sounds kinda crazy/weird, but, alas...
...
--- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05
* Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)
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