From: nunya@bis.nis   
      
   1997 - 1998) "In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But   
   I was only trying to save the gerbil," Eric Tomaszewski told the bemused   
   doctors in the Severe Burns Unit of Salt Lake City Hospital. Tomaszewski   
   and his homosexual partner, Andrew "Kiki" Farnum, had been admitted for   
   emergency treatment after a felching session had gone seriously wrong.   
   "I pushed a cardboard toilet paper tube up his rectum and slipped   
   Ragout, our gerbil, in," he explained. "As usual, Kiki shouted out   
   'Armageddon,' my cue that he'd had reached nirvana, so to speak. I tried   
   to retrieve Raggot but he simply would not come out, so I peered into   
   the tube and struck a match, thinking the light might attract him."   
      
   At a hushed press conference, a hospital spokesman desribed what   
   happened next.   
      
   "The match ignited a pocket of intestinal methane gas in Kiki's colon.   
   Flames shot out the tube, ignited Mr. Tomaszewski's hair and severely   
   burning his face. It also set fire to the gerbil's fur and whiskers,   
   causing it to scurry further up Kiki's colon, which in turn ignited a   
   larger pocket of gas further up the intestine, propelling the rodent out   
   of the cardboard tube like a cannonball.'   
      
   Tomaszewski suffered second degree burns and a broken nose from the   
   impact of the gerbil, while Farnum suffered first and second degree   
   burns to his anus and lower intestinal tract.   
      
   Sadly, Ragout the gerbil did not survive the incident.   
      
      
      
   --   
   AA #1898   
   Giver of No Fucks   
   Keeper of the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch   
      
   --- SoupGate-DOS v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)