From: commodorejohn@gmail.com
On Thu, 8 Jan 2026 22:05:58 -0000 (UTC)
Lawrence D’Oliveiro wrote:
> > Me, I'm happy to point and laugh at the divas' antics ...
>
> Which "antics" are these?
It was just upthread, but if you need a refresher, here's a play in
three acts:
[ACT I]
(Scene: the workshop of WEYLAND SMITH, god of craftsmen and developers.
It is the vernal equinox, a time of renewal and rebirth.)
WEYLAND SMITH: Behold! I have crafted this wondrous new artifact for
the management of displays! May you all be blessed and join me in the
sun, so that we may leave the Old Ways and their frankly pretty janky
legacy baggage behind forever!
VOX POPULI: Okay, yeah, the Old Ways were pretty crufty alright. So,
this new thing of yours, it's a functional equivalent?
WS: Better! It's ever so much more secure, and offers full...er, offers
all the necessary functionality!
VP: Well, it's just that there seem to be some...missing features.
(WEYLAND blinks. There is an awkward silence.)
WS: Er, like what?
VP: I mean, programs can't position their own windows, apparently?
WS (scoffing): I really don't see how *that's* necessary.
VP: Well, you know, like if you have a main program window supplemented
by one or more tool palettes or status windows, or even multiple main
document windows with a shared toolbar. Not *everything* is tabbed
single-window stuff.
WS: Come now, who *really* uses that paradigm in this day and age!?
VP: The GIMP, for one. There's a fair fraction of their userbase that
feel pretty strongly about it, and the single-window mode still doesn't
have a side-by-side option. Some significant pro/prosumer offerings for
different niches, as well.
WS: Well, they can adapt, surely?
VP: ...You're suggesting they change their whole layout and workflow to
work around something you left out of *your* thing?
WS: I mean, it's not like anybody else--
VP: Dude, *every other comparable product on the market* has this.
(WEYLAND bristles.)
WS: Well, I--look, we just *have* to, alright!? The days of the Old
Ways are long past! This is *The Future* I've brought you - can't you
show some gratitude!?
VP: Look, it's nothing *personal,* it's just...well, we've got stuff to
*do,* and you're telling us we need to rearrange the whole way we do it.
WS: Enough! I'll hear no more of this petulance! Leave me, and return
when you can appreciate what I'm offering you!
VP: Yeah, fine. We'll be over there with the Priests of the Old Ways.
WS: But...but they smell funny, and I'm pretty sure they're leaving the
back gate unlocked some nights...
VP: Maybe, but they don't tell us what we can and can't *do* with our
own desktops.
[ACT II]
(Scene: a small village, on the verge of the autumnal equinox. Many of
the houses have windows that are time-worn or encrufted with moss; the
residents would probably not mind having new ones, but they've got them
placed just how they want and don't much feel like handing over control
of their size and placement to the whim of a central authority.)
(WEYLAND steals in, casting twitchy, suspicious glances over first one
shoulder and then the other.)
VOX POPULI: Oh! Wasn't expecting to see you here - how've you been?
WEYLAND SMITH: Fine. Safe. Fine. Listen, you...you know you're not
*safe* here, don't you? Much more secure over at my place. C'mon, I'll
take you back with me - I'm not even mad about earlier, honest.
VP: Is this about the back gate? We've been talking with the priests
about that.
WS: No, no - well, yes, but it's these *windows,* you see.
VP: ...Pardon?
WS: Don't you understand? If someone came in the back gate, they could
rearrange the windows while you weren't looking! Could even make you
think one window was another! Much too insecure, not safe at *all.*
VP: ...Oookay. But, like, we're looking into the gate thing.
WS: Really, you can't be too careful! Look, I've got that artifact I
crafted with me, you can just hand over control of your windows to--
VP: Seriously, this again? Wouldn't it make more sense to fix the
problem at the source?
(WEYLAND responds with a quietly horrified stare.)
VP: Listen, it's not that we have any objection to fixing things, it's
just that you keep telling us we can't *do* that without throwing our
whole workflow out. And, well, we can't see how that makes any sense,
and it's kind of an issue for the village draftsman. He takes his work-
flow *real* serious, you see.
WS: Truly!? Has *all* of this been thanks to the babbling of one fool?
Call him out, that I may meet him!
VP: Okay, if you insist. HEY, K.C., THERE'S A GOD HERE TO SEE YOU!
(Enter an 800-POUND GORILLA.)
K.C. (scratching his chin thoughtfully): So - they tell me you've got a
problem with the way we do things around here?
(WEYLAND looks him up and down. The GORILLA stands a full head taller,
and has a chest like a refrigerator.)
WS: I, uh, well...I just think that if you think about it, you'd see
it's actually much better to let me handle all of your, uh, windows...?
KC: You know how much I've got on my plate, pal? You want me to spend
*how* much time and effort rearranging my whole process just so you can
"solve" a problem we're already working on by throwing everyone *else*
here off their groove, too?
WS: B-but, but...you don't *understand,* if we don't all get on the
same page here, I can't get them to accept this neat artifact I made...!
KC: Buddy, I really don't see how that's my problem.
WS: I-I mean, they might leave *you* if it came down to it, did you
ever think about *that!?*
KC: You *serious,* my guy? I *own* whole distant jungles, I don't even
need to *be* here except I like these people.
(An awkward silence.)
WS: ...Is that a no?
KC: That's a no.
[ACT III]
(Scene: the same village, at the following vernal equinox.)
(WEYLAND enters, looking like he's had a rough night.)
WEYLAND SMITH: So...listen, I've been thinking about adding a method
for software-directed window sizing and placement.
VOX POPULI: ...Could you have done this at any time?
WS (aside glance): *Maaayyybe*...?
(Curtain.)
--- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05
* Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)
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