...

 SB>> Well, that was, is, and will always be one of the most stupid things I
 JH> have
 SB>> ever heard. I was a lifer, that meant I planned on doing 20 years, are
you
 SB>> saying I should have waited 20 years to get married. The COB told me
 SB>> that crap
 SB>> when he denied me leave to go home and get married. Said if the Navy
 SB>> wanted me
 SB>> to get married they would have issued me a wife with my seabag. I told
him

 ...

 JH> Most people aren't lifers, either.  The fact remains that
 JH> most young enlisted personnel get married at too young an
 JH> age when they don't know how to handle a lot of the crap
 JH> life throws at them, plus the added burden of long term
 JH> deployments, and constantly changing duty stations. All of

 Which applies maybe to some, but not all. Duty stations didn't
 change that often back when I was in. I had two stations after I
 got married. And one post training station before.

 JH> that stuff is one of the reasons why the divorce rate among
 JH> military marrieds is sky high. I was in the Navy, too, and
 JH> I saw everything I've said on a regular basis. I'm glad you

 The divorce rate may be high more because of bad pay. That and
 current multiple deployments to the war. Which is going to be
 bad for anyone, and even shouldn't happen to the single guys.

 JH> were happy and that you were able to make a successful go
 JH> of it, but I watched a lot of shipmates go through
 JH> emotional hell because they were at sea and their wife was
 JH> having some kind of crisis back home.

 Most military personell don't go to sea.

 JH> So, what I said isn't stupid at all.  Obviously, someone
 JH> who is a career enlisted is cut from a different bolt of
 JH> cloth than a four year enlistee. They are better able to
 JH> deal with things or they wouldn't have decided on a 20 year
 JH> hitch to start with. But for the majority, they are far too
 JH> often too young, and get married for the wrong reasons, and
 JH> would be better off waiting for the 2-4 years most people
 JH> spend in military service.

 I don't actually disagree with that, but I do recognize how it
 also can be very wrong. However, military service also means the
 serviceman is often stationed somewhere he isn't going to have
 much of a social life. Bringing one with him gives him a much
 better life.



BOB KLAHN bob.klahn@sev.org   http://home.toltbbs.com/bobklahn

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