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 Message 1321 
 Nancy Backus to Damon A. Getsman 
 Re: In Portland, OR, as a single father 
 05 Feb 15 17:06:00 
 
-=> Quoting Damon A. Getsman to All on 31-Jan-2015 16:49 <=-

 DAG> The other factor that needs to be taken into account with the setting
 DAG> that we're currently in is that we're _still_ couchsurfing.  That is,
 DAG> there are no separate rooms, there's no real place for us to put our
 DAG> stuff, and the person who was kind enough to let us stay with him had
 DAG> the place full to the brim of his stuff when we got here.  So there's
 DAG> not really enough space in this place to do anything with toys, and
 DAG> usually it's in unacceptable condition for inviting anyone over here.

It's good you have a roof over your head, but granted, that's still
nowhere near an ideal situation...  

 DAG> He reads his books, but he reads through them so fast that I
 DAG> can't keep up.  I have located a local library here, which will, no
 DAG> doubt, help a bunch, but that's just not done yet.  Due to the issues
 DAG> that I had, I was unable to get out of the apartment for quite some
 DAG> time, which really held us back in some of those areas.

Have you considered getting him some sort of electronic book reader,
and downloading books for him...?  Or is that out of the question
financially...?  How far away is the library...?   It's a shame that
things are less safe than they were back when I was a kid... I used to
hang out at the local library all the time, could walk there from
home... 

 DAG> So.  On to helicopter parenting.  This was actually a term coined
 DAG> by my friend 'Neuro', a user on this BBS.  It's a term used to describe
 DAG> the latest phenomena of parents who don't let their kids have _any_
 DAG> unstructured or unsupervised time.  While this can be great for learned
 DAG> skills, it can be terrible for having a kid ready for the real world. 

Some of it is driven by the kids wanting to be involved in all sorts of
things, from music to sports to other activities.... but many parents
tend to push kids into things they aren't really all that interested in,
to be sure.  I suspect that part of it came from having smaller families
so that that sort of running around on the parents' part was even
feasible...  when you have 5 or more kids, it's harder to go in all the
different directions... and, besides, the kids have siblings to go out
and play with.  Not to say that only having one child is a problem in
itself, it just makes it more difficult to find other kids to play
with...  (Coming from someone who is the oldest of 8 kids, and ended up
only being able to have one child...)

 DAG> I wouldn't worry so much about being called an incompetent parent,
 DAG> when I'm giving him the experience and the skills that he needs to
 DAG> survive, if I had a job, my own place, and everything right now.  As
 DAG> it stands, though, the last thing that I need is CPS looking into the
 DAG> situation.  I mean everything is legit, but it's not like I have any
 DAG> sort of real leg to stand on showing that I'm a 'Fine Upstanding
 DAG> Citizen'(tm) brand American Single Parent. 

Keeping him clothed and fed and in school should go a ways in showing
that you are a proper father, however...  and the other hopefully will
come as you are better stabilized and can find a decent job...  :)

 DAG> Long story short, I don't know what to do about
 DAG> it other than to keep pushing for a job, now that I've got myself
 DAG> stable, and get the hell out of it.  I just wish there was something I
 DAG> could do quicker.  There's plenty of meet-ups, but my vehicle being
 DAG> gone now is making that rougher, especially on school days.

Sometimes one just has to keep plodding, one foot after another, and
hope the goal is eventually met...  :)  

ttyl       neb

... We are born naked, wet and hungry.  Then things get worse.

--- EzyBlueWave V3.00 01FB001F
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